Mean Glee
by Gailea122
Summary: What if someone re-wrote the Mean Girls movie to match the Glee Cast... Well coem fidn out as we join Kurt on his journey through the new world of William McKinley High School. Eventual Sam/Kurt.
1. Chapter 1

Media: Fic  
>Title: Mean Glee (A Mean Girls and Glee Cross Over Fic).<br>Rating: T  
>Spoilers: Mean Girls and Glee characters?<br>Warnings: None.  
>Word Count:<br>Summary: What if someone re-wrote the Mean Girls movie to match the Glee Verse? This is my take on it.  
>Notes: First fanfic in 9 years so forgive me my mistakes…<br>**Disclaimer:** I own nothing, seriously not a damn thing. The book Queen Bees and Wannabes is © to Rosalind Wiseman, and the Screenplay/Movie is © to Tina Fey. And Glee is property of Ryan Murphy.

Also, mods, may I have an author's tag please?

"Talking" | /Voice Over/ | *Thinking* | ~~~Scene Change~~~

**Chapter 1  
><strong>_  
>-Kurt's POV-<br>_  
>I looked up to see my parents smiling down at me. Then my dad handed me this brown paper bag.<p>

"This is your lunch, OK? Now, I put a dollar in there, so you can buy some milk. You can ask one of the big kids where to do that." I smiled back at him indulgently. Like I couldn't figure that part out for myself… Dad meant well, but he was extremely over protective sometimes.

"You remember your phone number? I wrote it down for you, just in case. Put it in your pocket, I don't want you to lose it." That was Carole, she was a lovely woman who I'd introduced my dad to about seven years ago. It had been a couple of years since my mother had died and I wanted him to be happy and Carole was a wonderful woman. She was really caring and sweet. She grinned at me and said "OK? You ready?"

I stood up and smiled back at them "I think so."

"It's Kurty's big day." My dad beamed at me and took a picture of me and Carole to celebrate my first day of school. I was wearing a red and black stripped top with faded black jeans and a pale pea-coat. And of course my hair was fixed perfectly. As soon as the flash had gone off Carole started crying and hugging me closely, like she was afraid if she let go I'd disappear.

/_ I guess it's natural for parents to cry on their kid's first day of school. But, you know, this usually happens when the kid is five. I'm sixteen and until today, I was home-schooled. I know what you're thinking._

_"Home-schooled kids are freaks."_

~~~Scene Change~~~

You probably think of a small _Filipino_ girl with a black beret, a red sweater and black mini skirt on stage at a spelling bee is speaking into a microphone…  
>"X-Y-L-O-C-A-R-P, Xylocarp" the audience claps as she undoubtedly gets it right.<p>

_/Or that we're weirdly religious or something./_

~~~Scene change~~~

Here you'd probably think of a bunch of kids together in the countryside, probably a load of hicks, saying things like "And on the third day, God created the Remington bolt-action rifle, so that Man could fight the dinosaurs. And the homosexuals"

His fellow hillbilly friend's clime in with a chorus of "Amen"

~~~Scene Change~~~

_/But my family's totally normal. Except for the fact that; both my parents were in the peace core. And that we've spent the last 12 years in Africa. I had a great life…/_

_an image pops up in my mind of me in the wide open plains of Africa with a boa constrictor around my neck. Another of my dad and I; working together on this vehicle that had broken down. Some of me playing with some of the smaller animals we were taking care of…_

_/But then Carole got offered tenure at Lima Ohio's number one hospital. And they both figured that I should get to have a 'real teenage life'/  
><em>

_A few images of my slightly devastated face when I was told we'd be leaving crop in there too…_

_/So it was goodbye Africa, and hello high school./_

~~~School~~~ 

My new life looms before me now. I guess it's also known as William McKinley High School. Here goes nothing I guess. I go to cross the road when a bus whizzes past me almost running me over. Hearing gaps behind me I turn to see my parents with shocked and simultaneously afraid looks on their faces. "I'm OK. Sorry. I'll be careful." And with that my first day of School had begun.

I walked across the parking lot and as I did I had to dodge out of the way of footballs and other flying projectiles. I looked to the left and saw a bunch of boys in letter jackets tossing smaller kids into a dumpster. I scrunched my nose up a little and couldn't help but think that they were a bunch of Neanderthals. In all honesty the lions on the plains were more civilised than that. I hurried past them and into the building itself.

/As I walked through the halls everyone kept staring at me. I guess I understood it, if I'd been them I'd have stared at me too. I wasn't the most 'typical' of guys. For one I looked more feminine than half of the ladies here. I wasn't the tallest of guy's; I had a small heart shaped face with a small little upturned nose. A slightly wide mouth, pale skin, which seems ridiculous since I'd come here from Africa but I always took pride in my skin care. I was slim if you ignored my shapely hips, no they were not pear hips thank you very much, and I didn't walk down the hallway. I strutted down them as if I were on the runway./

~~~Classroom~~~

I found the right room number after a little searching and it appears I'd arrived just in time as when I stepped through the door the bell rang. At least my dad said a bell rang to show when to enter and leave rooms here… I walked to the front desk. There was a guy in a red and white check shirt standing there looking through papers. I guess he must be the teacher. I'd better introduce myself…

I walked over to him and held my hand out "Hi. I don't know if anyone told you about me. I'm a new student here. My name is Kurt Hummel"

He looked at me weird then sneered at me with a lot of distain and disgust "Talk to me again and I'll kick your ass" and with that he walked off and took a seat in the front row. I heard laughing and looked up to see three people snickering behind their hands.

One was an Asian girl with blue and violet streaks in her black hair, dressed in an ebony lace top with a crushed velvet jacket and a long flowing midnight blue skirt with bit bots underneath. Another was a boy with light curls who was dressed pretty smartly in a pink collared shirt with a charcoal vest over the top of it and charcoal slacks to match and a pair of highly shined shoes. The last was a freakishly tall boy with a friendly smile on his face; he had a grey t-shirt with a long sleeves white shirt underneath it and a pair of loose fitting jeans and some black converse on his feet.

I hesitated before deciding to sit next to the angry guy when a voice stopped me. I turned to the source of it and found the girl who'd been laughing at me had been the one to speak.

"You don't wanna sit there. Dave Karofsky's boyfriend is gonna sit there" As she said it a boy with dark skin with closely shaved hair in a letter jacket sunk into the seat I was going to take "Hey, baby" and started kissing the angry guy.

I moved to the next aisle and went to sit behind a hunched over guy when the girl spoke again "Ah-uh. He farts a lot" the boy turned to look at me and turned back quickly. Before I could get the desk behind him someone else took the seat. I started to look around the room as I walked back to the front when I knocked into someone.

"Oh, God, I'm so sorry." I bent down to help her pick up her things and when I stood back up I noticed I'd spilled her coffee all over her. I felt really bad since she was pretty petite and she had a nice blouse that was now ruined. She had soft ginger hair and big eyes, like Disney movie big. It was like looking at Bambi if I was completely honest. "It's not you. I'm bad luck." She turned around to lift her sweater up over her head but her blouse had gotten caught too. But before I could tell her there was another voice. I looked over at the door and saw this really hot man with caramel coloured skin and dark hair standing there with this kind of scary looking woman with blonde hair.

"Miss Pillsbury?"

"My Blouse is stuck to my sweater, isn't it?" she said in a panicked voice.

"Yes it is" I said turning away to get her some paper towels. 

"Fantastic. I can't believe this is happening" She fixed her shirt and then turned to look at the man who had come into the room properly. He was absolutely gorgeous. Muscled, but not obscenely so. And those big brown eyes were just amazing. The blond woman was wearing a blue tracksuit with white piping down the sides and she looked bored beyond belief.

"Is everything all right in here?" the man asked. I really needed to find out his name. Oh and maybe, a phone number. Did I mention I was gay?

"Oh, yeah." She replied.

"So… how was your summer?"

"I got divorced."

"My carpal tunnel came back." He held up a bandaged hand.

"I win." She said with a sad smile.

"Yes, yes you, do." He looked away for a moment.

Then the intimidating blond woman spoke up in a tone that was both bored and sarcastic "Well as entertaining as watching you two doe eyes idiots make small talk is I'd like to get down to business. I just wanted to let everyone know that we have a new student joining us. He just moved here all the way from Africa."

The woman, Miss Pillsbury turned to a black girl in the third row with some wonderful accessories and a fabulous sense of style, and raised her arms as she said "Welcome."

"I'm from Michigan" A potential diva too, I think I could probably get along with her.

"Great" she put her arms down and smiled a little nervously.

"His name is Kort. Kort Hummel. Where are you, Kort?" 

"That's me." I put my hand up shyly and she turned to look at me, as did everyone else. "It's pronounced like Kurt"

"My apologies lady face. I have a brother nephew named Anfernee, and I know how mad he gets when I call him Anthony. Almost as mad as I get when I think about the fact that my mother named him Anfernee. Well, welcome, Porcelain."

"And thank you, Miss Sylvester" said our home room teacher with a worried face. But she was already gone.

The man who'd been with her was about to leave when he turned back to Miss Pillsbury and said "And Emma... if you need anything or if you wanna talk to somebody..."

"Thanks, Carl. Maybe some other time, when my shirt isn't see-through" she nodded carefully with the big eyes wider than ever.

"OK. OK. Good day, everybody" and with that he left and our first lesson began.

_/The first day of school was a blur. A stressful; surreal blur. I got in trouble for the most random things…/_

During my History class I got up to go to the bathroom and the teacher, this old balding man in a pink shirt with little glasses stopped me.

"Where are you going?"

"Oh, I have to go to the bathroom."

"You need the lavatory pass."

"OK. Can I have the lavatory pass?"

"Nice try. Have a seat."

_/I had never lived in a world where adults didn't trust me, where they were always yelling at me/  
><em>

_Images of various teachers yelling at me for various things popped into my mind, like my English teacher: "Don't read ahead!"… My science teacher: "No green pen!"… My art teacher: "No food in class!_

~~~Cafeteria~~~

I went to the lunch line and got a bottle of water. After paying I tried to figure out where I should sit… I walked past a table with some boys talking "I told you, I saw the whole thing. Everything"

"Did you see nipple? It only counts if you saw a nipple."

"That's true, dude."

I decided to pass on that table.

_/I had a lot of friends in Africa…/_

The next had a bunch of people who looked like they could be from Africa so I tried to talk to them "Jambo!" I smiled at them but they sort of gave me looks that could be read as 'what the hell?' so I moved swiftly on. 

_/But so far, none in Evanston./_

I ended up eating my lunch alone in the girl's bathroom. I tried the boys first but the over powering stench was too much for me to handle. It wasn't exactly the greatest dining spot in the world but at least it was quiet and free from the 'look at the freak' looks I'd been getting. 

~~~Home~~~ 

When I got home my parents were waiting on the veranda for me. I looked over at them and then my dad said "Hey. How was your first day?" I just gave him a pained look and went inside.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2.**

Next day I walked into homeroom just as the bell rang. As I sat down the guy with the curls from yesterday turned to me and said "Is that your natural hair colour?"

I nodded "Yes"

"It's gorgeous"

"Thank you" I smiled at him. He was kind of cute but had an air of superiority and overly gayness to him. I like him already. He suddenly leaned across and put his head next to mine while he turned to talk to the other two from yesterday.

"See, this is the colour I want." He pointed between our heads.

"This is Jesse. He's almost too gay to function." The girl smiled at me as Jesse leaned back into his own seat.

I laughed back and said "Nice to meet you."

Just then some football guy in a letter jacket walked past and said "Nice wig, Tina. What's it made of?" 

"Your mom's chest hair!" She sent a glare after the jacket guy and then turned to me with a small smile "I'm Tina. And this loveable doofus here is Finn" she pointed to the guy behind her who'd been laughing with them yesterday. He waved at me and smiled. 

"Hi, I'm Kurt. Do you guys know where Room G 14 is?" Tina leaned over and took my schedule from me. Her Finn and Jesse shared a look.

"Health, Tuesday/Thursday, Room G 14"

"I think that's in the back building"

"Yeah, that's in the back building" 

"Yeah, we'll take you there." They all smiled at me and I felt a little nervous, like they were hiding something but decided to give them the benefit of the doubt. After all at least they were talking to me.

/z/ the bell rings /z/

after we were dismissed Tina and the guys whisked me away into the hall. "Watch out, please!" Jesse yelled.

"New meat coming through!" Finn elbowed people out the way.

We went through a back door and ended up on the back field were the gym classes took place when it was warm.

Finn was looking over my schedule "Health… Spanish… You're taking twelfth-grade calculus?" he sounded like he was in severe shock.

"Yeah, I like math" I looked at him funny. 

"Why?" Jesse looked at me incredulously.

"Because it's the same in every country"

"That's beautiful. This boy is deep." Jesse looked at Tina and meaningfully.

"Um, Where's the back building?" I looked around and couldn't see and kind of structure that didn't have roots going underground…

"It burned down in 1987" Tina said it so nonchalantly. That must have been what the look was about. I bit my lip for a second and looked at the three of them sat on the grass.

"Won't we get in some sort of trouble for this?"

"Why would we get you into trouble? We're your friends" she smiled at me warmly. It looked a little odd because of the dark and gloomy make up but I figured that was the whole point in the first place… but it was still sweet at the same time. I was still uneasy about the class cutting. I mean I was still new here and didn't want to get in trouble so quickly. Regardless of this fact I sat down beside them being careful of my pants. I really did not want grass stains.

_/Ok I know that it's wrong to skip class, but Tina said we were friends. And I was in no position to pass up friends… I guess I'll never know what I missed on that first day of health class/_

~~~Meanwhile in Health Class~~~  
>A young looking teacher is stood in front of a chalkboard talking to his class. He has curled hair held in place by a lot of gel, a weird and ugly vest covering a pale blue shirt and a slightly weird vibe to him.<p>

"Don't have sex. Because you will get pregnant and you will die. Don't have sex in the missionary position, don't have sex standing up. Just don't do it, promise?" after looking at the blank and uncomfortable faces of the students he sighs and picks up a box and pushes it towards the kids.

"OK, everybody take some rubbers."

~~~Back outside~~~

Tina gave me an odd look and said "Why didn't they just keep home schooling you?" Before turning back to her sketch pad, whenever I tried to sneak a peek she covered it up and gave me a sneaky smile.

"They wanted me to get socialized I guess" I shrugged when shoulder. Finn laughed a little as Jesse said "Oh, you'll get socialized, all right. A little slice like you"

"What are you talking about?"

"You're a regulation hottie. Well at least to the gay community here, you are gay right?"

"What? How did you…"

"Own it" Jesse smirked at me and did a flirty little head bob.

"How do you spell your name again, Korty?" Tina asked me looking up through her bangs.

"It's Kurt, K-O-R-T"

"Yeah, I'm gonna call you Korty." I smiled indulgently at Tina. After all there were much worse names I could be called. Like Lady Face. Why exactly did the principle call me that… were the staff even allowed to talk to the students like that? Then again she is the principle…

My chain of thought was broken by Jesse's exclamation of "In the name of all that is holy, will you look at Brittany Pierce's gym clothes?" we all turned to look over at the gym class that was coming outside. The girl Jesse was looking at, Brittany, was a girl with long blonde hair and a simple expression on her face, she was dressed in a pair of dark navy hot pants and a loose tank top. She seemed to be talking to someone on the phone and I couldn't help wondering if she'd get in trouble for it…

"Of course all The Clastics are in the same gym class"

"Who are The Clastics?" I gave her an incredibly confused look. I didn't even know what that was never mind who they were.

"Cheerio Plastics, they're teen royalty" Finn said giving me a smile.

"If McKinley High was _Us Weekly_, they would always be on the cover." said Jesse. Then he pointed to the one he'd been looking at before "That one there, that's Brittany Susan Pierce, or S-Pierce. She thinks she's named after Britney Spears and that she lives in her shadow"

Tina chimed in with "She is one of the dumbest girls you will ever meet. Jesse sat next to her in English last year."

"She asked me how to spell "orange"" and thinks that the square root of four is rainbows" I gave him my best are you freaking kidding me face. Evidently he was not kidding me.

"And the little one with the big chest? Yeah…" Finn pointed to the girl with caramel skin and long black hair talking into a cell phone "That's Santana Lopez. She's totally rich because her dads an awesome doctor in New York who travels all over the world. She's super fierce" as I looked over at Santana someone hit her with a football and she dropped her phone. Brittany looked confused when it happened… wait. Where they seriously just on the phone to each other? They're standing right next to each other. I shook my head slowly for a moment in sheer bafflement.

"She knows everybody's business. She knows everything about everyone." said Jesse with a small amount of awe in his voice.

"That's why her hair is so big. It's full of secrets." said Tina, voice dripping with sarcasm.

"Wait, I thought it was because she hides Razor blades in there…" I gave Finn a scared look and he just shrugged.

Then Tina spoke up with "And evil takes a human form in Quinn Fabray" the amount of loathing in her voice made me do a double take. I looked out over the field to see a blonde girl in middle of the field being carried by all the guys in the class. She was pretty I guess, with blonde hair pulled up into a tight pony tail, she seemed to have an air of someone with a hidden agenda but it might've just been me…

"Don't be fooled; because she may seem like your typical selfish, back-stabbing, slut-faced hoe-bag. But in reality, she is so much more than that."

"She's the queen bee" Finn said cheerily.

"The star, those other two are just her little workers. Quinn Fabray. How do I even begin to explain Quinn Fabray?" Tina trailed off mysteriously. Finn and Jesse started to tell me about what they'd heard other people saying about her…

~~~Interview Time! ~~~

A large girl with Glasses and an angry air about her who goes by the name of Lauren Zizes says that "Quinn Fabray is flawless."

A girl in Jesse's Spanish class said that "She has two Fendi purses and a silver Lexus."

This tall Asian boy from the football team named Mike said that he heard "Her hair's insured for $10 thousand dollars."

This girl named Susie Pepper who was totally weird and freaky said that she heard "She does car commercials. In Japan"

This girl on the basketball team said "Her favourite movie is _Varsity blues_."

The unofficial school secretary Becky Jackson said that "One time, she met John Stamos on a plane." And her friend from the Cheerleader's said "And he told her she was pretty."

This girl from Finn's history class, Janet said "One time, she punched me in the face. It was awesome."

~~~Interview Over, we return to the Hallway~~~

"She always looks fierce." said Finn. 

"She always wins Spring Fling Queen" said Jesse. The way they spoke made me think of Tweedle Dum and Tweedle Dee from Alice in Wonderland…

"Who cares?" asked Tina with utter boredom in her voice. I wonder what she had against the Clastics…

"I care. Every year, the seniors throw this dance for the underclassmen called The Spring Fling. And, whosoever is elected Spring Fling King and Queen automatically becomes head of the Student Activities Committee. And since I am an active member of the Student Activities Committee, I would say, yeah, I care" Said Jesse with a true passion. He was so dramatic sometimes. I smiled over at him.

"Wow, Jesse, you've truly out-gayed yourself." Tina turned to me and said "Do you have a problem with me saying stuff like that? These two don't care but everyone's different" she gave me a one shouldered shrug.

I smiled at her and chuckled "No, I don't have a problem with it"

"Cool. Here. This map is gonna be your guide to McKinley." I looked down at the seriously detailed map in my hands. Wow. I could hardly believe she'd drawn this while we were sitting outside. If I tried something like this it would take me weeks. "Now, where you sit in the cafeteria is crucial because you got everybody there. You got your freshmen, ROTC guys, preps, JV jocks…" Just looking at it was like I was being sucked inside it...

/Asian nerds/  
><em>An image in my mind from yesterday of the table filled with really smart looking yet dorky guys playing with cards that had weird animals that had weird names on them…<em>

/Cool Asians/  
><em>A table of really thin and pretty Asian girls and boys flitted through my mind…<em>

/Varsity Jocks/

_A table of Neanderthal's like the ones by the dumpsters every morning came to mind…_

/Unfriendly Black Hotties/

_A table filled with the people I'd tried to befriend yesterday came to mind…_

/Girls Who Eat Their Feelings/

_A table with some slightly curvy girls comes to mind, one of which being the Michigan girl Miss Pillsbury thought was me…_

/Girls who don't eat anything/

_A table of girls in cheerleading uniforms all drinking form this big bottle of something called master cleanse popped in there…_

/Desperate Wannabes/

_The table of misfits from yesterday popped into my head…_

/Burnouts/

_They were the ones on drugs and that guy who smelled homeless, Brett I think his name was, were on this table…_

/Sexually Active Band Geeks/

_A table of people crawling all over each other kissing and groping came into my mind…_

/The Greatest People You Will Ever Meet/

_The table with Tina, Jesse and Finn popped into my head…_

/And the worst. Beware of the Clastics/

_The girls from before came into my mind…_

I was broken from my reverie just as I was passing the Clastics table when this guy with weird hair and a creepy smile came up to me…

"Hey. We're doing a lunchtime survey of new students. Can you answer a few questions?"

"…OK" 

"Is your banana covered in chocolate?" I heard his friend laughing but I didn't get what was funny…

"What?" more giggling from their table…

"Would you like us to assign someone to cover your banana?"

"My, what…?" 

"Is he bothering you? Thad, why are you such a skeez?" I turned to look at the voice that had interrupted and possibly saved me… It was Quinn Fabray.

"I'm just being friendly" he said with a nervous expression.

"You were supposed to call me last night. I sent you like three sexts" that was Santana. She was looking hurt and royally pissed off all at once.

"Thad, you do not come to a party at my house with Santana and then scam on some poor, innocent guy right in front of us three days later. He's not interested. Do you wanna have sex with him?" she looked at me seriously, I looked at Thad and felt a little nauseous.

"No, thank you" 

"Good. So it's settled. So you can go shave your back now. Bye, Treasure trail."

"Bitch." And with that he walked away, his friends were yelling things like 'dude, you got burned!'… I smiled a thank you to Quinn and the Clastics before moving away. I didn't get far before she said "Wait. Sit down." I gave them a look as if to say 'really?' Quinn smiled a little and said "Seriously, sit down" For some reason unbeknownst to me I did.

"Why don't I know you?"

"I'm new. I just moved here from Africa."

"What?" 

"I used to be home-schooled"

"Wait. What?" Jeez I thought they said Brittany was the dumb one…

"My step mom taught me at home..." 

"No, no. I know what home-school is. I'm not retarded. So you've actually never been to a real school before?" I shook my head no. "Shut up." She looked so shocked "Shut up."

"I didn't say anything…" I was the confused one now…

"Home-schooled, that's really interesting." She had a calculating look on her face as she leaned back in her chair with her arms folded. 

"Thanks."

"But you're, like, really cute." That was a surprise…

"Thank you." I think my cheeks were going slightly pink but I'm not sure… 

"So you agree."

"What?" 

"You think you're really cute."

"Oh, I don't know…" I had completely lost control of the situation… I needed a subject, or a table, change and fast… 

"Oh, my God, I love your bracelet." She provided it for me, nice. "Where did you get it?" she asked as she brushed over the top of it with her fingers 

"Oh, my mom made it for me."

"It's adorable" overly happy smile; it seemed very forced… 

"Oh, it's so fetch." Said Santana with a slightly cheerful look on her face

"What is "fetch"?" asked Quinn with an irritated side glance to Santana.

"Oh, it's, like, slang, from England… or something"

"So if you're from Africa... Why're you white?" and there was Brittany proving just how right Finn, Tina and Jesse had been…

"Britt, you can't just ask people why they're white." Santana sent Brittany a soft look that told they were really close…

Quinn looked at them and then at me "Could you give us some privacy for, like, one second?"

"Yeah, sure…" they moved closer together and started to whisper to each other behind their hands. I looked over at Tina and she and the guys where giving me serious 'what the hell!' faces. I shrugged my confusion to them and tried to tell them with my eyes that I'd explain it later. Tina just mouthed to me '_What are you doing?' I shrugged again and sent them a 'the hell if I know' face. _Then Quinn cleared her throat_._

"OK, you should just know that we don't do this a lot, so this is, like, a really huge deal." Said Quinn leaning on her elbows to get closer to me, possibly to prove the seriousness of her statement…

"We wanna invite you to have lunch with us every day for the rest of the week." Said Santana with a small smile and a slightly smug look

"Oh, it's OK…" I wanted to back out because I figured my new friends wouldn't approve. Especially Tina… before I could back out however Quinn interrupted me. 

"Coolness, so we'll see you tomorrow" and leaned back with a smile on her face as though it was mission accomplished or something…

Brittany smiled so genuinely at me and said with glee "On Wednesdays, we wear pink."


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

After lunch I was pulled into the girl's bathroom by Tina. She wanted to know why I'd sat with the Clastics. After telling her, she looked at me blankly before erupting into loud peals of laughter and exclaiming

"Oh, my God! OK, you have to do it, OK? And then you have to tell me all the horrible things that Quinn says." She was flat out grinning at me now with a Cheshire cat smile. It was a little unsettling…

"Quinn seems… sweet" I gave her an 'I don't get it look' and a one shouldered shrug.

"Quinn Fabray is not sweet. She's a scum-sucking road whore! She ruined my life!" she said so with such vehemence that I almost took a step back.

"She's fabulous…" said Finn coming out of one of the stalls. How the hell did I miss him hiding in there he was like seven foot tall. "…But she's evil." Said Jesse coming out of the one next to it. Seriously, how was this a girl's bathroom? There were more boys than girls in here.

"Hey, get out of here!" said a short girl with her hair in a bun as she turned to look at us. 

"Oh, my God, Danny DeVito. I love your work!" said Jesse rushing towards her. She ran as fast as she could to get away from him.

I turned back to Tina "Why do you hate her?"

"What do you mean?" she gave a confused look but I wasn't buying it.

"Quinn, you seem to really hate her"

"Yes. What's your question?" she said with such an honest look, as if she didn't know why hating Quinn Fabray could seem weird to me after she'd just be nice to me.

"Well, my question is, why?" 

At this Finn came over to me and said "Regina started this rumour that Tina was..." 

"Finn! Shall we not?" said Tina with a simultaneously worried and angry face. "Now, look. This isn't about hating her, OK? I just think that it would be, like, a fun little experiment if you were to hang out with them and then tell us everything that they say."

I gave a small defeated sigh and asked "What do we even talk about?" 

"Hair products." Said Jesse "Zac Efron" Said Finn.

"Is that a band?" I looked at him confused and Jesse looked like he was going to faint for a moment out of shock at my lack of knowledge.

"Would you just do it? Please?" Said Tina in a slightly aggressive and insistent tone.

"OK, fine." I'd already decided I would, but there was slight problem "Do you have anything pink?" I asked her.

Jesse said "Yes." As Finn and Tina said "No."

~~~Later on in Math Class~~~

_/By eighth period, I was so happy to get to math class/_

I took my seat and got my book and writing utensils out.

_/I mean; I'm good at math. I understand math. Nothing in math class could mess me up/_

Then the boy in front of me wearing this blue shirt with a bulls eye on it turned around and asked "Hey, do you have a pencil I can borrow?" in this sweet southern accent and I forgot how to breathe. He was, stunning.

_/I've only had one other crush in my life/  
><em>

_The image of me at 9 years of age in Kenya popped into my mind…_

_/His name was Nfume, and we were only 9 years old/_

_I told him "Meh-meh, Un a tok deh beh" that I liked him once and gave him a hug. He pushed me away and said "Toroka" 'Go away' before walking away from me._

_/It didn't work out. But this one hit me like a big, yellow school bus/_

He had blonde hair in a shaggy sort of style, but it suited him a lot. A cute button nose. I handed him my pencil and he smiled at me. I couldn't help but notice a pair of very full, pouty red lips that just seemed to beg to be kissed. Along with a set of perfect pearly white teeth and also that he had really intense green eyes…

"Kurt, what do you say?" the teacher asked me from somewhere further forward.  
><em><br>/He was.../_

"…So cute." I said in a voice barely above a whisper. Then everything sort of went quiet and everyone turned to look at me. I felt my eyes widen a little and I quickly worked the sum out.

"I mean, A-sub-N equals N plus one over four."

"That's right. That's good. Very good. All right, let's talk about your homework." Said Miss Pillsbury from the front of the class. And the mystery Blonde boy turned away.

~~~Arriving Home~~~

As I walked up the pathway I saw my parent sitting on the veranda again and wondered if they were going to meet me at the door every day after school. A part of me thought it was sweet but another part of me really hoped that they decided against it. My dad smiled at me as I walked up the steps and said "Hey. How was your second day?"

I smiled over at him and said "Fine." 

"Were people nice?" asked Carole with a small smile of her own.

I thought about it for a moment and said "No." 

Dad gave me a troubled look and asked "Did you make any friends?"

I smiled again and said "Yeah." And with that I walked inside before they could ask any questions I wasn't prepared to answer.

~~~The next day at lunch~~~  
>I sat with the Clastics in the pink shirt I'd borrowed from Jesse, Brittany was on my left and I was across from Santana and Quinn. Quinn was busy fussing with her food while Santana filled me on one everything. I couldn't help but feel surreal as we sat together… <p>

_/Having lunch with The Clastics was like leaving the actual world and entering "Girl World". And Girl World had a lot of rules…/_

"You can't wear a tank top two days in a row, and you can only wear your hair up; once a week. So I guess you picked today." Said Santana in a cheerful yet bored tone. How did she manage the two simultaneously? And by hair up I guess she mean faux coif.

"Oh, and we only wear slacks or track pants on Fridays." Said Brittany with a smile that I couldn't help but smile back at.

I turned back to Santana as she said "Now, if you break any of these rules, you can't sit with us at lunch. I mean, not just you. Like; any of us." At my confused look she lowered her voice slightly and leaned forward "OK, like, if I was wearing jeans today, I would be sitting over there with the Art freaks."

I looked to where she indicated and saw she was talking about Tina, Finn and Jesse. They were putting food on Finn's face and laughing. I was pretty sure I heard humming too… They were freaks? I thought they'd been really nice… 

"Oh, and we always vote before we ask someone to eat lunch with us because you have to be considerate of the rest of the group. Well, I mean, you wouldn't buy a pair of jeans without asking your friends first if they look good on you."

I gave her an incredulous look and said "I wouldn't?"

"Right." Sarcasm may be lost on this group. "Oh, and it's the same with crushes. Like, you may think you like someone, but you could be wrong." She said with a worried look she thought I didn't see over at Brittany. Ok I really wanted to know what that look was about but I didn't think now was the right time to ask.

Luckily before I could put my foot in it Quinn chimed in with "A hundred and twenty calories and forty eight calories from fat. What per cent is that?" I started to work it over in my head as Santana said "Forty-eight into one twenty?" with a nervous expression.

"I'm only eating foods with less than thirty per cent calories from fat"

"It's forty per cent" at their blank looks I explained that "Forty eight over one twenty equals X over a hundred and then you cross-multiply and get the value of X." blanker looks than before. Wow.

"Whatever. I'm getting cheese fries." Said Quinn before leaving the table. I resisted the urge to roll my eyes at the fact that cheese fries where about a hundred times for fattening that what she'd been about to eat in the first place.

Suddenly Santana leaned closer to me and said "So have you seen any guys that you think are cute yet?" with a bit of a leer.

"Well, there's this guy in my calculus class…" I smiled just thinking about him and could feel my cheeks blush…

"Who is it? It's a senior?"

I smiled and felt my voice go all dreamy as I said "His name's Sam Evans" to my surprise Brittany and Santana gasped and have me horrified looks. 

"No! Oh, no, you can't like Sam Evans" Said Brittany. "That's Quinn's ex-boyfriend. They went out for like a year."

"Yeah, and then she was devastated when he broke up with her last summer"

"Wait, I thought she dumped him for Noah Puckerman" Brittany said with a confused frown.

"OK, irregardless. Ex-boyfriends are just off-limits to friends. I mean, that's just, like, the rules of feminism!" she said getting slightly louder with each word. She took a breath and said in a more controlled voice "Don't worry. I'll never tell Quinn what you said. It'll be our little secret." She said with a secret look to Brittany that I didn't understand.

~~~Eighth Period Math Class~~~

Miss Pillsbury was at the front explaining todays lesson "We define the sum of the infinite geometric series..." but I tuned her out since I'd already learned this from Carole and turned my attention to Sam…

_/Even though I wasn't allowed to like Sam, I was still allowed to look at him/_

_I'd been staring at the back of his cute, fluffy hair all lesson…_

_/And think about him…/_

_Oh I'd definitely thought about him… I vaguely heard the bell ring and got up after gathering my books… I noticed Sam was just in front of me as I was leaving the room…_

_/And talk to him…/_

I reached my hand out to tap him on the shoulder and get his attention by calling his name "Hey, Sa…"

When a boy with glasses, a checked shirt with suspenders rolled up to me in a wheelchair and said "Hey, you're the Africa guy, right?"

I watched Sam leave with his friends and let out a small sigh before turning to the other boy "Yes, that's me"

"I'm Artie Abram's, captain of the McKinley High Math-Gleeks." He held his hand out for me to shake and I did so with a smile "We participate in math challenges against other high schools in the state, and we can get twice as much funding if we've got a full team of five instead of just us four" he pointed to the other guys in the back row by another board "So you should think about joining." He smiled at me. He seemed friendly enough, and I did like math so I was a little tempted by the offer…

"Oh, you'd be perfect for it." Miss Pillsbury piped up from the front of the room

"Yeah, definitely." I said with a non-committal shrug.

"Great, great. Let me give you my card" He said with a smile as he reached into his shirt pocket. He handed me a small rectangle of card with his name and phone number on it. It also said he was a Math enthusiast and a Bad-ass Rapper. I wasn't exactly sure what that last part was but he was apparently proud enough of it to put it on a card. "OK, so think it over. Because we'd like to get jackets."

I smiled and said "Ok" And with that he smiled at me and wheeled away.

~~~Parking lot~~~ 

Walking outside to get home I looked over at the football field and saw Sam playing a game with some other kids in full pads and uniform. I wouldn't have pegged him as the type since I hadn't seen him in a letter jacket before. I had to admit though, he looked great right now. Tight white pants, red top that really made his flushed cheeks stand out even more… I sighed almost dreamily. He stopped playing and took a sip of his water. I'd never been jealous of a water bottle before this moment. He turned his head and smiled at me.

"Hey!" he called over to me and I waved back to him. He then waved back at me with a wide smile. He started to walk towards me when I heard a car horn beep behind me.

I turned to see Quinn, Santana and Brittany sitting in a Silver Lexus "Get in, loser. We're going shopping." Quinn yelled to me.

_/Quinn's like the Barbie Doll I never had. I'd never seen anybody so glamorous./_

So I smiled one last time at Sam and turned to get in the car. As we drove off I missed his slight frown and disappointed look on his face when he saw I was leaving with the Clastics. 

_~~~At the Mall~~~_

"So how do you like McKinley?" Quinn asked me as we walked around. 

"It's good. I think I'm joining the Math-Gleeks."

"No! No, no." she said forcefully. "No, no. You cannot do that. That is social suicide." Said Quinn "Damn, you are so lucky you have us to guide you." I smiled weakly at her and looked around for a moment tuning them out. I noticed Tina working in a specialist store filled with bottle and powders… she grinned widely at me and I gave a small shrug and a tiny wave before turning my attention back to the Clastics.

We stopped on a layer just above a fountain. There were lots of teenagers and people of various ages loitering around the general vicinity. It all felt kind of familiar in a weird way…

_/…Being at The Orchard Mall kind of reminded me of being home in Africa. By the watering hole. When the animals are in heat/_

_Suddenly vision of some the male teens acting bison and sticking their hands and heads in the fountain for a drink while the girl teenagers were acting like monkeys, grooming each other and messing with their hair. Others acted like hyenas running around laughing amongst themselves. And there were the predatory jungle cat girls ready to claw each other's eyes out of a scarf. Or a boy. And then trying to drown each other in the fountain…  
><em>  
>I shut my eyes for a moment and when I opened them again it was all back to normal. "Oh, my God, there's Thad!" Said Santana.<p>

"Where? Oh, there he is." Said Brittany and I think she was going to wave before she realised that it might upset Santana if she did…

"And he's with Taylor Wedell" I looked over at a pretty girl with strawberry blonde hair. 

"I heard they're going out." Said Brittany. I looked over at Thad and couldn't help but think that he worked fast. Santana three days ago. Tried to get me yesterday and now this Taylor girl…

"Wait. Thad's not going out with Taylor. No. He cannot blow you off like that." Said Quinn with an air of determination about her. She smiled a little after a moment and said "He's such a little skeez. Give me your phone."

Santana reluctantly handed it over and said "You're not gonna call him, right?"

"Do you think I'm an idiot?" Said Quinn

"No." Santana shook her head and we followed Quinn as she walked till we were behind a potted plant and out of Thad's line of sight. Then she hit 'connect call'.

"Wedell on South Boulevard." She said in a light and polite tone.

"Caller ID." Said Santana worriedly.

"Not when you connect from Information." Quinn smiled at us. Santana visibly relaxed but I could still see tenseness in her shoulders. We could vaguely hear the person on the other end pick up through the phone as Quinn turned it towards us slightly.

"_Hello?"  
><em>

"Hello. May I please speak to Taylor Wedell?" she said politely

"_She's not home yet. Who's calling?"_

"Oh, this is Susan from Planned Parenthood. I have her test results. If you can have her give me a call as soon as she can. It's urgent. Thank you." Just before Quinn hung up I could have sworn I heard the woman, quite possibly Taylor's mother, drop the phone and maybe even pass out at that.

"She's not going out with anyone." Said Quinn happily.

"OK, that was so fetch." Said Santana taking her phone back from Quinn. Quinn rolled her eyes at the bizarre slang and started to walk off.

I started to follow but hesitated when I saw Taylor answer her phone "Mom?" she asked in a panicked voice…

~~~Quinn's House~~~

We drove along what was quite possibly the longest driveway ever and pulled up in front of what could very well be a mansion. "Your house is really nice." I said to Quinn as we exited the car.

"I know, right?" she smiled at me before flouncing off to open the door after getting her bags from the trunk.

"Make sure you check out her mom's boob job." Said Santana as she walked beside me on the way in "They're hard as rocks. And totally the reason I got mine done."

We entered through the fabulously decorated foyer and then into the lavish and expensive looking living room where a girl aged about ten was dancing to some song about milkshakes and boys. 

"I'm home! Hey, Kylie." She called over to the girl. She responded with a short "Hey."

"Hey, hey, hey! How are my best girlfriends?" said a woman with long blonde hair and a very easy going nature about her. She was really pretty and had a slim figure. She was dressed in a black long sleeved top with a grey mini skirt that had two large black buttons on the side of it.

"Hey, Mrs Fabray. This is Kurt."

"Hello, sweetheart." She said with a smile as she leaned forward to hug me "Hi." I said back as she enveloped me in her arms and I could tell what Santana meant by the hard as rocks comment. They were kind of hurting me a little "Welcome to our home."

"Just want you to know, if you need anything, don't be shy, OK? There are no rules in this house. I'm not like a regular mom. I'm a cool mom. Right, Quinn?"

"Please stop talking." She said with an exasperated tone. 

"OK. I'm gonna make you guy's a "hump day" treat." She said with a small grin. As she went over to the counter "Anyone for Taco's?" Quinn gave her a kind of 'bitch please' look and her mom just laughed and went about mixing drinks so we headed up stairs.

When I entered Quinn's room I couldn't help but be a little envious. It was huge! And tastefully decorated, she had a large four poster bed with red curtains on the side, two small chaise lounges, a giant collection of cd's and DVD's on a huge row of built in shelves, several large mirrors and a very expensive looking sound system. "This is your room?" I asked in amazement.

"It was my parents' room, but I made them trade me" she said with a little shrug as if it was no big deal. I guess to her it wasn't. "Hey, put on 98.8" she said to Brittany who smiled and turned the dial to the correct station. _/z/I wanna be a billionaire, so freaking bad…/z/_ came through the speakers as Britt walked over to one of the mirrors.

Quinn took off her jacket and turned to me with an amused expression "Kurt, do you even know who sings this?"

"The Backstreet Boys?" I asked with a small shrug of my shoulders and a bewildered face.

"I love him. She's like a Martian." She said to Santana as they both walked over to the mirror that Brittany was looking at.

"God, my hips are huge!" Said Brittany 

"Oh, please. I hate my calves." Said Santana checking her legs in the mirror.

"At least you guys can wear halters. I've got man shoulders." Said Quinn

_/I used to think there was just fat and skinny. Apparently, there are a lot of things that can be wrong on your body…/_

They continued to berate themselves in the mirror "My hairline is so weird." Said Santana with a grimace. 

"My pores are huge." Said Quinn rubbing her fingers over her nose.

"My nail beds suck." Said Britt looking at her hands in disappointment.

Then they all turned to look at me and I said the first thing I could think of "I have really bad breath in the morning." They made disgusted faces but seemed to drop it.

Then Quinn's mom came in with a tray loaded with drinks in cocktail glasses "Hey, you guys. Happy hour is from four to six!" she grinned over at us and we each took a drink from her with a "Thank you"

I eyed the contents of my glass for a moment before I asked "Is there alcohol in this?"

"Oh, God, honey, no. What kind of mother do you think I am?" she said with an affronted look. I didn't mean to offend her just the style of the glasses made me wear. Before I could apologise however she gave me a playful yet serious look and said "Do you want a bit? If you're gonna drink, I'd rather you do it in the house." And smiled at me.

"No, thank you." I said with a small shake of my head as I took a sip from my glass. It was surprisingly nice and fruity.

"OK. So, you guys; what is the four, one, one? What has everybody been up to? What is the hot gossip? Tell me everything." As she was talking the family dog ran in the room and jumped into her lap. She repositioned it but a minute later it started to bite her implants. She didn't seem to notice but none of us could stop from staring at the spectacle in front of us. "What are you guys listening to? What are the cool jams?"

"Mom. Could you go fix your hair?" said Quinn in an embarrassed voice. He mother grinned for a moment and said "OK. You guys keep me young. Oh, I love you so much." And with that she walked out and closed the door. I looked over at the window for a moment. The view was incredible. Before I could get a closer look though I heard Brittany say "Oh, my God, I remember this" as she pulled out a pink book.

"I haven't looked at that in forever." Said Quinn as she went back to the mirror.

"Come check it out, Kurt. It's our Burn Book." Said Santana as she moved to Brittany's side and put her drink down on a shelf "See, we cut out peoples' pictures from the yearbook, and then we wrote comments."

""Mike Chang is a grotsky little byotch."" Said Britt as she showed me a picture of a cute Asian boy in a letter jacket 

"Still true." Said Quinn with a smirk

"Lauren Zizes is a fat virgin." 

"Still half true." They all laughed at that

"Susie 'Peppers' she made out with a Mexican chilli pepper" they turned the page and Tina's face peered up at me.

"Tina Cohen-Dyke." Said Santana. I felt a little uneasy for a moment. I wanted to defend Tina but there wasn't really a way for me to do that without them thinking I was freaky and kicking me out…

"Who're they?" asked Britt pointing to the two boys behind Tina. 

"I think that's that kid Finn" Said Santana pointing to the taller boy "And that's that Jesse boy" she said pointing to the boy with curded hair in the picture.

"Yeah. They're almost too gay to function." I said with a smile. I heard Quinn laugh and say "That's funny. Put that in there." And then Santana went and got a pen to follow Quinn's wishes.

_/Oh, no. Maybe that was only OK when Tina said it/_

~~~The Mall~~~

I went into the shop where Tina worked and told her everything that had happened so far today "And they have this Burn Book where they write mean things about all the people in our grade." 

"What does it say about me?" she asked with a raised brow. I didn't want to upset her so I said "You're not in it." 

"Those bitches." Now she was mad anyone… I missed the simplicity of Africa.

"Will this minimize my pores?" asked Jesse as he held up this little tub of cream. 

"No." she said as she took the tub away from him "Kurt, you gotta steal that book."

"No way!" I wasn't a thief. A spy apparently. But not a thief. 

"Oh, come on. We could publish it, and then everybody would see what an axe-wound she really is."

"I don't steal" I said honestly 

"That is for your feet." She said taking a tube of something from Finn. "Kurt, there are two kinds of evil people. People who do evil stuff, and people who see evil stuff being done and don't try to stop it."

"Does that mean I'm morally obligated to burn that lady's outfit?" asked Jesse and we turned to look at the woman he was pointing at.

"Oh, my God, that's Miss Pillsbury"

"I love seeing teachers outside of school. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs." Said Tina as Miss Pillsbury came over to us.

"Hey, guys, what's up? I didn't know you worked here." She gave us a little perky smile that was almost infectious.

"Yeah, moderately priced soaps are my calling." Said Tina with a smirk

"You shopping?" asked Finn. We were in a mall what did you think she was doing?

"No, I'm just here with my boyfriend." She said pointing to a random spot beside her. Unluckily for her it was filled by a big biker. "Joking. Sometimes older people make jokes."

"My nana takes her wig off when she's drunk." Said Finn awkwardly "Your nana and I have that in common." Said Miss Pillsbury with a short smile "No, actually, I'm just here because I bartend a couple nights a week down at P.J. Calamity's. Kurt, I hope you do join Math-Gleeks, you know, because we start in a couple weeks and I would love to have a full team, just, you know, so the team could possibly compete"

"I think I'm gonna do it" I smiled at her and she smiled back with a "Great." but Jesse and Finn butted in with "You can't join Math-Gleeks.

It's social suicide!"

"Thanks, guys." She sent them short slightly exasperated smile and said "Well, this has been sufficiently awkward. And I'll see you guys tomorrow. Bye." And with a little wave she was off. 

"Bye." We called after her. "Oh, man, that is bleak." Said Tina with an 'I feel kinda bad for her expression'. She then turned to me and said "So when are you gonna see Quinn again?"

"I can't spy on her anymore. It's weird." I replied honestly. I liked her, she was nice. And I didn't feel right being a double agent…

"Come on, she's never gonna find out. It'll be like our little secret." She said with pleading eyes. 


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

~~~Kurt's House ~~~  
>It had been a couple of hours since my talk with Tina at the soap store and the issue of whether or not to spy on Quinn was still in my head. On the one hand Tina really seemed to have a good reason and wanted to protect me from something Quinn could do. But on the other Quinn had been nothing but nice to me, if not nice to others, since I'd met her… before I could dwell on it anymore the phone started ringing. I pressed the answer button and said "Hello?"<p>

"I know your secret." I heard Quinn's slightly amused and somewhat smug voice say down the line. My heart stopped for a moment.

_/Oh, God, busted. How did she even know about any of it? Had she seen me talking to Tina? Just start apologizing and… No, play it cool/_

"…Secret?" I felt my voice go slightly higher and inwardly cursed. "What are you saying about?" I cringed for a moment before Quinn interrupted me.

"Santana told me that you like Sam Evans" Oh. That secret "I mean, I don't care, do whatever you want. But let me just tell you something about Sam" she paused for a moment and I unconsciously started to hold my breath. "All he cares about is school and his mom and his friends." She said it like it was some sort of crime to be remotely human. Maybe that was what Tina had meant…

"Is that bad?" I was genuinely confused here. Those seemed like good qualities to look for in a boyfriend… 

"But if you like him… whatever. I mean, I could talk to him for you if you want." Wow. That really wasn't what I was expecting at all.

"…Really? You would do that? I mean, nothing embarrassing, though, right?" I asked with my voice full of uncertainty for a moment.

"Oh, no, trust me. I know exactly how to play it" she said in an overly sweet voice. But then her tone changed completely. "But wait, aren't you so mad at Santana for telling me?"

"No." I wasn't mad. Maybe I was a little hurt but I wasn't mad. 

"Because if you are, you can tell me, it was a really bitchy thing for her to do."

"Yeah, it was pretty bitchy, but I'm not mad. I mean, I guess she just likes having attention."

"See, Santana? I told you she's not mad at you." Oh crap.

"I can't believe you think I like attention!" I heard Santana's shocked and angry voice down the like before Quinn said "OK, love you. See you tomorrow." And they both hung up in tandem.

I just stared at the phone in my hands for a moment in shock. That was definitely a new experience. One I hoped not repeat anytime soon…

_/I had survived my first three-way calling attack…/_

I put the phone back on its stand and walked out of the room.

_/And with Quinn's blessing, I started talking to Sam more and more… On October third, he asked me what day it was/_

__~~~October 3rd in the Math Class

Sam turned to me and licked his lips for a moment before asking me what day it was. He was wearing this dark blue top that had a bizarre tribal creature with blue skin on the front of it…

I smiled at him and replied "It's October third"

He smiled a thank you and turned back to the front. 

_/Two weeks later, we spoke again/_

Miss Pillsbury had left the room for a moment. Apparently she needed some hand sanitizer, when Sam turned to look at me. He smiled and then looked out the window behind me and said "It's raining."

"Yeah" I replied and we smiled for a moment.

_/But I wanted things to move faster… So I followed my instincts…/_

While Miss Pillsbury explained something on the projector I leaned forward and tapped Sam on the shoulder; he turned to me and gave a small smile. He had a purple plaid button up shirt over the top of a long sleeved plain white t-shirt. "Hey, I'm totally lost. Can you help me?" I asked in what I hoped was a flirtatious tone.

_/But I wasn't lost. I knew exactly what Miss Pillsbury was talking about/  
><em>

"Yeah" he looked down at my page for a moment then met my eyes, he has such wonderful eyes, as he said "It's a factorial, so you multiply each one by N."

_/Wrong/_

I looked away for a moment before asking "Is that the summation?" I asked in a slightly confused yet mildly condescending tone. I hoped he wouldn't pick up on the later.

"Yeah, they're the same thing." He shrugged and smiled at me.

_/Wrong. He was so wrong/_

"Thanks. I… I get it now." I gave him a small smile before turning back to my work as he turned to the front again. As he did the projector went off and Miss Pillsbury said "Lights, please. OK. See you guys tomorrow." As I was distracted by Miss Pillsbury and with packing my things away I missed seeing Sam take a deep breath before he turned back around to face me with a wide grin.

"We're having a Halloween party at my friend Chris' tonight… You wanna come?"

"Yes, I'd love to" I smiled widely at him and felt my heart rate pick up. Was this… did he just ask me out on a date?

"Great. Here's where it is." He slipped me a piece of paper, presumably with an address written on it "It's a costume party. People get pretty into it."

"OK." Ok now I just needed to find a costume. A really great costume that would make him notice me and possibly like me.

He looked nervous for a moment before saying "That flier admits one person only, so don't bring some other guy with you." Yes, this was definitely a date type situation. I smiled widely at him. "Gr-awesome" I closed my eyes in embarrassment for a moment. "I meant to say "great" and then I started to say "awesome""

"Right, well. Sìltsan…" he smiled and said "That's the Na'vi equivalent of Gr-awesome. See you tonight." Before he stood up and left the room.

I had honestly never been more attracted to anyone as I was to him right now. I figured hearing Sam speak in 'Na'vi' had the effect on me that other people got when their crush said things in French… I stood up to leave when a voice from the back row stopped me.

"Hey, Kurt, are you staying for the Math-Gleeks meeting?" it was Artie.

"Yeah, I'll be right back." I said as I hurried out of the room. 

_/OK, I lied. So sue me. But I had to go home and work on my costume/_

I hurried home from school and filled Carole in on my situation. I kind of wanted to talk to my dad about it but he wasn't exactly ready for the 'boys' talk yet. Carole mentioned this one idea that I kind of fell in love with…

_/In the regular world, Halloween is when children dress up in costumes and beg for candy… In Teen World however, Halloween is the one night a year when the boys either do their best to look sexy for their girlfriends or try freak out their friends with the scariest thing possibly… and the one night when a girl can dress like a total slut and no other girls can say anything about it…/_

~~~Quinn's House~~~ 

_Quinn walks into her room where her parents are waiting with a camera to take some photos. She's wearing a tight and revealing Catholic School girl outfit that would probably be covering more if it wasn't on her at all._

_Her mother looks proud and jealous "_Doesn't she look great, honey?" _while her father looks on in quiet shame and judgment wondering just what happened to his little girl._

_/The hard-core girls just wear lingerie and some form of animal ears or wings/_

~~~Brittany's house~~~

_After hearing a knock Brittany ran to open the door, on the other side is Santana dressed in a white negligee that is incredibly form fitting with a pair of fluffy angel wings on her back and a silver head band in her hair._

_She looks at Brittany for a moment and asks "_What are you?" _Brittany is wearing a skin tight red PVC body suit with a long tail attached at the back like a whip and a red head band in her hair with small cat ears attached.  
><em>

"I'm Britney Spears as a cat, duh"

_/Unfortunately, no one told me about the hot rule. So I showed up like this…/_

I entered the house with a bald cap with long dirty blonde/grey-white hair at the sides, pale make up with dark eyes to make them look sunken in. I was wearing a tight white shirt; seriously it's so tight you can see my belly button through it, a ragged looking cream coloured vest. And black tuxedo jacket with coat tails, various gothic looking cross necklaces. I was also wearing the tightest pair of pants you could ever imagine with a studded black belt with a cobweb design on the buckle and a pair of black leather ankle boots. And to complete the look I was holding a feather duster. Oh yes, I was the legendary Rif Raff of the Rocky Horror Picture Show.

When I saw everyone else's costumes however, I panicked. They were all dressed up sexy as hell and I wondered what exactly the dress code had been, whore-ific? Strippers are us?

I heard a chanting up ahead of me and saw Brittany and Santana engaged in a steamy kiss. To say I was shocked would be an understatement. All the boys around them had been cheering them on with a "Yes! Yes!" but they broke for air and then when the noticed me they pulled me into another room.

"Hey guys" I was dying to ask about the kiss but a part of me figured it might just have been for the party. Like a special party trick? Get the boys you want by showing you're not afraid to mix it up a little. Brittany hadn't noticed my costume until now apparently because when she turned to me she jumped back and spilled her drink everywhere.

"Why are you dressed so creepy?" asked Brittany.

I gave her a one shouldered shrug and said "It's Halloween"

"Have you seen Thad?" asked Santana and I saw Brittany's face fall a little… I shook my head no and I saw Britt hold her head high and say with a little vindication in her voice "You know who's looking fine tonight? Wes Brody."

"OK, you did not just say that" said Santana turning to Brittany. 

"What? He's a good kisser."

"He's your fourteen year old next door neighbour. He's also your cousin"

"Yeah, but he's my first cousin."

"Right"

"So you have your cousins and then you have your first cousins, then you have your second cousins…" she seemed to realise the flaw in her logic. 

"No, Britt, honey…"

"That's not right, is it?"

"That is so not right" I had to agree with Santana. That was wrong on so many levels. Before I could dwell on it however I heard Sam's voice calling out to me "Hey!" 

"Hey" I turned around to smile in greeting and almost had a heart attack. Sam was… he was… oh, god. He'd gone with a Rocky Horror theme too, the creature himself, Rocky.

I swallowed thickly and it took every ounce of my self-control not to drool or jump him. The only thing he was wearing was a pair of tight gold hot pants and a pair of gold ankle boots. There were various pieces of bandages adorning his chest and thighs in an attempt at modesty. It didn't work at all. I could still see a perfect set of well-defined abs, a very nicely toned chest. Two perfect strong looking arms, nice long legs, two well-formed calf's, a very nice pair of thick, strong thighs…

Look up. For the love of the spaghetti monster who writes romance novels and lives in a teapot on the dark side of the moon with lightening shooter boobs look up.

"You made it. And you're… Riff Raff! That's awesome"

"Thanks, so far you're the only one to notice, Rocky" I smiled at him in a flirty yet jovial way.

"Love it. Though if I'm completely honest? I think you'd have made one hell of a Dr Frankfurter" he smiled at me and looked me over and I swear my blush was showing through the makeup. "How exactly did you get into those pants… can you even breathe right now?" I smiled and nodded a yes.

"Can I get you something to drink?" he asked as he licked his bottom lip. "Yeah, that would be great actually. My mouths a little dry" I chuckled lightly and he smirked and said "Be right back." I had to keep repeating the phrase 'Do not stare at his ass in those shorts' over and over in my head. "Thanks." I all but whispered as he disappeared into the kitchen.

"Brittany, stop it." I turned back to Santana and Britt and wondered just what I'd missed. "- Don't, Brittany…" 

"Hey, Wes!" we watched in horror as Britt ran off to see her cousin. That could not possibly end well… Santana seemed to have decided to step in and walked away without another word to me. I looked over at the kitchen trying to spot Sam.

-_Sam's POV-_

While I was getting me and Kurt a drink I heard a sickeningly sweet voice say "Hey" turning I saw Quinn in an outfit that was possibly from a porn film.

"Oh, no… Didn't anybody tell you? You were supposed to wear a costume. Not a stripper outfit"

She rolled her eyes at me and said "Shut up. I need to talk to you. You know that guy Kurt?" 

"Yeah, he's cool. I invited him tonight." I said as I spotted him in the crowd. He looked really good as Riff Raff. And I seriously had something wrong with me if I was finding a bald cap and deathly looking make up attractive…

"Well, be careful because he has a huge crush on you." She sounded angry. I turned back to her and asked "Really? How do you know?" I was pretty happy about that news though. I was seriously hoping it was true…

"Because he told me. He tells everybody. It's kind of cute, actually. He's like a little girl with her first crush. He writes all over his notebook, "Mr Kurt Hummel-Evans." And he made this T-shirt that says "I heart Sam" and he wears it under all his clothes."

"Oh, come on." That was kind of weird. And it didn't really seem like him… 

"Well, who can blame him? I mean, you're gorgeous…" I turned to look at her again and she had this weird look in her eyes that I couldn't place "And OK, look, I'm not saying he's a stalker, but he saved this Kleenex you used and he said he's gonna do some kind of African voodoo with it to make you like him." She was smiling a little now, it was kind of…

"Wait what?" he was gunna use voodoo on me? I looked over at him and he waved at me, I waved back and then thought about our costumes… it was kinda wired how we'd dressed alike without talking about it first…

-_Kurt's POV-_

I'd seen Quinn walk up to Sam and they'd been talking for a few minutes now. Then Sam looked over at me and I smiled happily and waved back.

_/This was it. Quinn said she would talk to Sam for me, and now she was/_

-_Quinn's POV-_

Sam was looking suitably freaked out. Good. No one was above the rules and there was no way I was letting the new kid take what was mine. Granted I didn't really want him anymore but with Sam on my arm I'd be a shoe in to win Spring Fling Queen again.

"I know he's kind of socially retarded and weird, but he's my friend, so just promise me you won't make fun of him"

"Of course I'm not gonna make fun of him" I didn't like how much he seemed to like Kurt despite the things I'd just told him… oh well there were always way's around that…

-_Kurt's POV-_

_/How could Tina hate Quinn? She was such a good.../_

Quinn put an arm around Sam's neck and kissed him.

_/Slut!/_

I ran from the house as I could feel tears prickling behind my eyes and I didn't want to give her or anyone else the satisfaction of seeing me cry.

-_Quinn's POV-_

I felt Sam push me away a few seconds after our lips had touched "What are you doing? You broke up with me."

"That's crazy. Why would I break up with you? You're so hot." And with that I kissed him again. He hesitated at first but then I felt his arms slide around my waist. And that's Quinn one, Kurt zero.

-_Kurt's POV-_

As I left I could only think of one place to go, Tina's house. I really needed to talk to someone and I don't think my parents would understand right now… 

_/I had never felt this feeling before. I could hear my heartbeat in my ears. My stomach felt like it was going to fall out my butt. I had this lump in my throat like after you dry-swallow a big pill. I hated Quinn. I hated her/_

_-Tina's POV-  
><em>

Finn, Jesse and I were watching a classic horror movie marathon. Jesse was dressed all in white with a big cape on his back, apparently it was his take on being a ghost, and Finn was a zombie football player who looked like he could be in a thriller video remake. I was dressed up in a champagne bubble dress with a blonde wig, like Lady GaGa. Just because we weren't going trick or treating didn't mean we couldn't dress up right?

I couldn't remember what film we were watching but it was terrifying. We were all curled together on the couch cowering. The heroine of the film was looking for one of her friends, as she opened the door to find a dead body dripping with blood with intestines leaking everywhere my door opened revealing a creepy looking bald guy with something in his hands. The three of us screamed in terror for a moment and the popcorn bowl flew up in the air scattering piece of popped corn everywhere. Then the creepy stranger turned on the light and my heart started beating again when I realised it was just Kurt. 

"She took him back. Quinn took Sam back." He said in a voice that made my heart break for him. He looked terrible. Not his costume, that looked awesome. But the makeup was smudged everywhere from his tear tracks and his eyes were rimmed red.

"Oh, no, Korty" I said as I stood up to comfort him.

"Why would she do that?" he sounded almost broken… "Because she's a life-ruiner, she ruins people's lives."

"When we were thirteen she made people sign this petition saying that Tina was a..." 

"Jesse! Please!" I yelled at him. I was trying to repress that memory and it wasn't going to happen if he kept bringing it up every ten minutes. "Look, she's not gonna get away with this again, OK? We're gonna do something" she ruined my life; I was not going to let her ruin Korty's too. 

"We are?" he asked with a slight hitch in his voice. And I nodded empathically.

_-Kurt's POV-_

When I told them what had happened I wasn't sure what to expect. I plan to destroy Quinn hadn't been what I'd been thinking of but I knew that I definitely wanted it to happen. Tina was stood in front of a small chalk board explaining how we were going to do just that. 

"Quinn Fabray is an evil dictator. Now, how do you overthrow a dictator? You cut off her resources. Quinn would be nothing without her high-status man candy..." she pointed a toy sword to the first thing written on the board 'Sam Evans' "…her technically good physique…" she pointed to the line that said 'Hot Body' "…and her ignorant band of loyal followers." At this she underlined the last point, the 'army of skanks'.

"Now, Kurt, if we want this to work, you are gonna have to keep hanging out with them like nothing is wrong. Can you do it?"

"I can do it." I nodded with determination, because if it was the last thing I ever did, I was going to get back at Quinn Fabray.

"OK, let's rock this bitch." Said Tina with a slightly malicious grin.


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

_~~~School Corridor~~~_

_/Pretending like nothing was wrong turned out to be surprisingly easy…/_

Santana had come up to me after History class as I was headed down the stairs and said she has something to tell me. "Quinn wanted me to tell you that she was trying to hook you up with Sam, but he was just interested in getting her back. And that's not Quinn's fault."

"No, I know. Some things are just, inevitable I guess" 

"OK, so you're not mad at Quinn?" she asked in a guarded tone. It was like she was hoping I was and wanted to bitch at her. I mean I was and I did but I wasn't going to tell her that.

"God, no" fake sincerity, give a small smile. That's right, eat it up… idiot. 

"Oh, OK, good. Because Quinn wanted me to give you this" she gave me an awkward, annoyed look before leaning in and giving me a the quickest hug I'd ever had in my life.

_~~~Lunch Time~~~_

"It's called the South Beach Fat Flush, and all you drink is cranberry juice for forty eight hours" I heard Quinn say to Sam as I approached the table, she really had to work on her indoor voice.

"This isn't even cranberry juice." I saw Sam give the bottle a dubious look "Its cranberry juice cocktail. It's all sugar."

"I wanna lose three pounds." She shrugged and took a sip of the drink that could possibly make her gain three pounds instead. "You're crazy" Said Sam with a slightly exasperated look.

Then Quinn noticed my arrival and her smile turned slightly sour and evil. "Why do you wear your hair like that? You hair looks so sexy pushed back. Kurt, will you please tell him his hair looks sexy pushed back?" she asked me as she ran her hands through his hair…

_/Quinn was dangling Sam in front of me on purpose… I knew how this would be settled in the animal world/  
><em>

_A sudden vision of me jumping across the table and clawing her eyes out like a lion would to a gazelle came into my mind…_

_/But this was Teen World…/_

_"_Your hair looks sexy pushed back." I told him as I took my seat and looked at anything but them. I felt a pair of worried eyes on me for the remainder of lunch.

_/…And in Teen World, all the fighting had to be sneaky/_

__~~~Girls Bathroom~~~

We were fixing ourselves up in the mirror when Quinn said "All this cranberry juice is making me break out" I was tempted to ignore her but an idea for a little revenge popped into my head…

"Wait. I have this really good skin stuff I'll bring you."

"OK"

_/We kept our eyes open for opportunities for sabotage…/_

_Tina and I swapped out the contents of a bottle for skin care with the contents of a bottle of foot scrub that would normally be used to tackle verrucas and warts. And then I gave it to Quinn the next day._

"Quinn. Here you go." I smiled at her and handed the lotion over. She gave me a smile back and quick hug and said "Thank you."

Later that day at lunch when she joined us at the table she ran a hand over Sam's arms before she sat down "Hey." "Hey" he said giving her a kiss on the cheek "Your face smells like peppermint." He grinned before leaning in and kissing her properly. I was suddenly no longer hungry.

…_Another thing we tried was embarrassing her by cutting holes in her clothes where her nipples would be. But she just carried on as if she didn't care. The next day __**everyone**__ was wearing a shirt like that. Even a couple of the guys…_

_We'd all but run out of ideas about a week before the Christmas break._

We were standing in the candy cane line at when Tina said "This sucks, you guys" she sighed_ and gave a small pout. "_It's been a month, and all we've done, is make Quinn's face smell like a foot" she said despondently as she leaned against a pillar. 

"I've been really busy with show choir" said Jesse defensively. "We have a regional contest coming up"

"We gotta crack Santana Lopez. We crack Santana, and then we crack the lock on Quinn's whole dirty history."

"Say "crack" again." Said Finn with determined eyes but also with a happy smile 

"Crack" said Tina and we all laughed for a moment. "All right, let's reconvene tonight" she said once we'd all calmed down. 

"I can't. I have to go to Quinn's to practice for the talent show. We're doing a dance to this song…" 

"Jingle Bell Rock" all three of them said in tandem.

"You guys know that song?" I asked with a smile.

"Everybody in the English-speaking world knows that song" said Tina.

"They do it every year" Said Jesse with some mild annoyance.

"You'd think they'd shake it up and do some Ke$ha or something…"

"Well, I have to learn it" I said with a small amount of disdain. I was not looking forward to my outfit at all. It was tacky and I hated. Also since joining the Clastics I'd learned that I had pear hips. This outfit hi lighted them. I stretched my neck and saw Quinn walking down the hall. I nudged Tina and said "Go." I said to the others and they walked away.

"Hey." I smiled at her, though it was more to do with the fact that I thought that shade of plum made her face look blotchy. 

"Why were you talking to Tina Cohen-Chang?" she asked with a small frown.

"I don't know" I shrugged noncommittally. "She's so weird. She just came up to me and started talking to me about crack" I shrugged again and Quinn laughed.

"She's so pathetic. Let me tell you something about Tina Cohen-Chang…" she paused for dramatic effect "We were best friends in middle school."

I raised a sceptical brow and Quinn smiled at me "I know, right? It's so embarrassing. I don't even… whatever." She moved her hair out of eyes and said "So then in eighth grade, I started going out with my first boyfriend, Nick, who was totally gorgeous, but then he moved to Indiana" she looked wistful for a moment and I wondered if she had genuinely cared for him. Maybe his leaving had been the event to turn her into such a bitch?

"And Tina was, like, weirdly jealous of him. Like, if I would blow her off to hang out with Kyle, she'd be like, "Why didn't you call me back?"" she lowered her voice in a bad imitation of Tina's.

"And I'd be like, "Why are you so obsessed with me?" Then a few weeks after that she auditioned for this school singing club, I mean they're so low down on the food chain that they make Math-Gleeks look cool. Special Ed kids get more play then the glee club do. It wasn't even the point that she wanted to join 'Losers Are Us', it was the song she auditioned with" I gave her a confused look and she rolled her eyes before continuing.

"She sang a song called 'I Kissed a Girl and I Liked It'. I mean that's just so… ugh" I shook her head for a moment. I didn't see the problem with that. I mean I'd seen Santana and Brittany actually kiss at the Halloween party of hell and Quinn didn't seem to care about that… or maybe she just hadn't noticed it…

"So then, for my birthday party, which was an all-girls pool party, I was like, "Tina, I can't invite you, because I think you're a lesbian."" I raised both brows and gave her a shocked face. "I mean, I couldn't have a lesbian at my party. There are gonna be girls there in their bathing suits. I mean, right? She was a lesbian." She gave an exasperated sigh. Oh poor baby, I guess remembering that she'd really hurt her friends feelings was so tiring…

"So then her mom called my mom and started yelling at her. It was so retarded. And then she dropped out of school because no one would talk to her." she leaned a little closer at this like she was sharing a deep secret with me "When she came back in the fall for high school, all of her hair was cut off and she was totally weird, and now I guess she's on crack." She said with short shoulder shrug.

I didn't really get how she could go from being her best friend to not giving a crap about her at all… I wanted to ask her about it but a girl in a plaid skirt walked past us and Quinn stopped her to talk.

"Oh my God, I love your skirt. Where did you get it?" she said with what I now knew to be a fake smile…

The girl smiled genuinely ack and said "It was my mom's in the seventies'"

"Vintage, so adorable." She said in saccharine sweet voice.

"Thanks." The girl smiled brightly before walking away.

Quinn turned back to me and said "That is the ugliest F-ing skirt I've ever seen." I suddenly had a feeling of de-ja vu wash over me… 

_~~~Cafeteria on the first day I met Quinn~~~  
>Oh, my God, I love your bracelet. Where did you get it?<em>

~~~Back to the present~~~

I shook the memory off with a small smile and asked her "So are you gonna send any candy canes?"

"No. I don't send them, I just get them. So you better send me one, byotch. Love you." And with that she blew me a quick kiss and walked away. I rolled my eyes as she walked away… then I had a wicked idea all of a sudden…

_/I was definitely sending her one. I was gonna use three candy canes to crack Santana Lopez/_

"Three, please." I smiled at the boy behind the table in charge of candy cane deliveries.

~~~That Afternoon in History Class~~~

Mr Ryerson was talking to us about Rome and Cesar at the front of the room. It was kind of interesting… I guess… "Why, Man, he doth bestride the narrow world like a colossus" might translate into "Why is he so huge and obnoxious?""

Suddenly the door opened and in walked Finn in a Santa suit and fake beard. "Candy cane-grams!" she yelled jovially and I smiled a little. Despite being sixteen years old Finn still had as much Christmas spirit as a five year old. So did Brittany actually… I could have sworn I'd heard her say she was going to the mall later to sit on Santa's lap…

"OK, hurry up." He said as he went to his desk to fix some papers while Finn did his job.

"Taylor Zimmerman? Two for you." He handed two small candy canes to the Taylor. Then reached in and pulled another handful out "Jeff Lynch? Four for you Jeff Lynch… You go, Jeff Lynch." He handed them over and gave him a small high five. "And Kort Hummel, do we have a Kort Hummel here?" he asked looking at everyone but me. Subtle Finn, really subtle.

"It's Kurt." 

"Oh, Kort, here you go. One for you" he handed it over and Santana put a hand out as if she was expecting to about twenty of them or something. But Finn just turned away with a "And none for Santana Lopez. Bye." And with that he left the room.

It wasn't even three seconds before Santana turned to me with a bothered expression and said "Who's that from?"

I smiled at her and opened my card ""Thanks for being such a great friend. Love, Quinn." That's so sweet" she snatched it out of my hand and read it for herself as Mr Ryerson said "OK, back to Caesar"

_/Once Santana thought Quinn was mad at her, the secrets started pouring out. All I had to do was wait for one we could use/_

~~~The Night of the McKinley High Talent Show~~~

-Sue Sylvester's POV-

"Thank you and welcome to the William McKinley High School Winter Talent Show" everyone started clapping and hollering in the audience. I rolled my eyes. These people really needed to get out more if they thought watching a bunch of pimple ridden germ factories made them happy.

"All right, settle down…" I said authoritatively. I looked at the card in my hands and had to resist the urge to just ask someone to slit my throat right this second. "Our first act calls themselves, Stars on the Rise" oh god. Even that ungodly product of unicorn semen and freshly smashed fairy Adam Lambert wouldn't call himself something that gay.

"I suppose I should say let's hear it for Finn and Jesse. Though what I really want to say is that I really wish the night had already ended. Here they are, come on out Ladies!"

~~~Jesse's POV~~~

I took a deep breath and checked myself over quickly in one of the mirrors back stage. My hair looked perfect. My outfit was flawless. I was wearing a Black form fitting t-shirt with a clear panel over the stomach to show of my slight abs and it had a clear panel in the same place on the back too. I also had on a pair of black leather pants, but they weren't skin tight since I would be dancing and didn't really look forward to the chaffing that would occur. And to complete the look I had some small little chains around my waist and a great pair of leather boots. Finn was wearing an all-white ensemble as he would be playing the 'good' character in the song.

I walked out on stage with Finn and felt a fantastic rush of adrenaline. I loved singing. No one was better than me when it came to singing. This was my spotlight and my time to shine. I had a show face so good that it could probably cure cancer.

I nodded to Finn and he pressed play on our boom box. A slow yet jazzy beat started to pour through the speakers and I did the opening verse, flawlessly and fabulously I might add…

"It doesn't matter if you love him  
>or capital H-I-M (M-M-M-M-M).<br>Just put your paws up'  
>cause you were Born This Way, Baby!"<p>

~~~Mean while backstage with the Clastics~~~

-Kurt's POV- 

I was feeling extremely uncomfortable in my outfit. I mean I know it was supposed to be Christmas themed but why couldn't Christmas themed mean longer shorts? These were bright red PVC with a fluffy white trim and they were about a half an inch shorter than the golden hot pants Sam had worn at Halloween… oh god he'd looked so… no. mind out of the gutter right now. I did want to have an erection on stage in these pants. Or at all if I could help it…

"I mean, why would Quinn send you guy's candy canes and not me?" asked Santana as she applied her make up for the show. She, Brittany and Quinn where all dressed in similar outfits to mine. Red PVC skin tight top that stopped about an inch above the belly button… Except they were wearing red PVC white fur lined skirts instead of shorts. I'd have happily worn the skirt though, since it was longer than these shorts.

"Maybe she forgot about you." said Brittany; she didn't have any malice in her voice just childlike innocence. I gave her a small smiled and turned to Santana.

"Yeah, Quinn has been acting kind of weird lately. I mean, is something bothering her?" I asked with genuine interest. Come on let some secrets out of those hair extensions.

"Well, I mean, her parents totally don't sleep in the same bed anymore, if that's what you mean." She realised she'd let it slip and said "You did not hear that from me." she went back to her lip gloss.

~~~Back on Stage~~~

-Finn's POV-

I can't believe I let Jesse talk me into singing this song. I mean I liked GaGa but it didn't mean I wanted to sing her songs to the school… or dress like her… oh well at least this outfit beat wearing that weird shower curtain dress thing I'd seen her wear before… or the globe thing… or the condom outfit. That would have been all kinds of awkward to explain to my mom… 

"I'm beautiful in my way

'cause god makes no mistakes

I'm on the right track baby

I was born this way"

I thought that Jesse and I had been harmonising pretty good so far. The audience must have disagreed though since as Jesse was about to do the next verse threw a shoe at us.

He just shrugged it off and picked it up, danced to the edge of the stage an d hit the guy in the face with it when he threw it back. I smiled over at him and we finished up our last chorus… 

"Don't hide yourself in regret

Just love yourself and you're set

I'm on the right track  
>Baby I was born this way<p>

I was born this wa-hey  
>I was born this wa-hey<br>I'm on the right track  
>Baby I was born this wa-hey"<p>

~~~Back Stage Again~~~

-Kurt's POV- 

We'd moved to over by the curtain when we heard the song on stage. Jesse and Finn were really good… I was smiling at them and about to cheer when Santana spoke up "I mean, no offense, but why would she send you a candy cane?" she said looking over at me with distain…

"She doesn't even like you that much…" she stopped for a moment, obviously waiting or hoping to get a rise out of me. When she could tell none was forth coming she sighed and carried on with…

"Maybe she feels weird around me because I'm the only person that knows about her 'special trip' to the doctors last year." She paused for a moment then shrugged and said "You didn't hear that from me either" and then went back to fixing her hair…

~~~Mean while on stage~~~

-Artie's POV-

Ok I may look like your average nerd in a wheel chair but I am so much more. I got me some skills yo, you'll never see a better rapper that me and one day I'm make it to big time, I'm gunna be a millionaire yo. But before that I'm 'bout to tear this talent show a new one. Holler!

I rolled out on stage with the other Math-Gleeks and started to belt out my rhymes while they danced around me… 

"_Yo, yo, yo  
>All you sucker MCs<em>

_Ain't got nothing on me_

_From my grades to my lines_

_You can't touch Artie A_

_I'm a Math-Gleek_

_(A Math-Gleek)  
>So nerd is inferred<em>

_But forget what you heard_

_I'm like James bond the Third_

_Shaken not stirred_

_I'm Artie Abram's"_

I did some gesticulation with my hands and some spins and wheelies while sang 

"_The wheels are silent_

_When I sneak in your door_

_And make love to your woman_

_On the bathroom floor_

_I don't play it like Shaggy_

_You'll know it was me_

_Because the next time you see her_

_She'll be like OOOOOOOOH!_

_Artie A!"_

"Thank you, wheels, but I think that's enough" said Principle Sue. Man she could be so scary sometimes, I remember once I posted this embarrassing video of her singing on YouTube and thought she'd kill me when she found out it was me. instead she bought three new handy accessible ramps for the school since she'd ended up getting a recording contract with Olivia Newton John out of it…

"Happy holidays, everybody." I said as me and the Math-Gleeks rolled off the stage…

"Well that, disturbing beyond belief… A-Artie Z and the Power of Three… wow. That was, that was something…" I heard her say as I got back behind the curtain… I heard some other people talking too. I looked over and saw the two guys who'd gone on before talking to this gothic looking girl, and wow. She was amazing…

"Does it bother you that they still use your original choreography?" I heard the boy in black; I think his name was Jesse, say to her. They were looking at the resident Clastics. Wow those outfits were… woah…

"Shut up" she said with a slightly embarrassed tone with a mixture of annoyance in their too… "Damn" she turned towards me. Oh crap that had been out loud…

"What?" she said with an expectant face. Might as well go for it right? "I'd rather see you out there shaking that thing." She'd definitely look hotter out there than any of those other girls, or Kurt. And with that I rolled away before she could answer me.

~~~Clastics~~~  
>-Kurt's POV-<p>

We were waiting for out cue behind the curtain when Quinn suddenly turned to Santana and said "Santana, switch sides with Kurt."

Santana looked like she'd just been bitch slapped "But I'm always on your left."

"That was when there were three of us, and now the tallest go in the middle."

"But the whole dance will be backwards. I'm always on your left." She said with a little head swerve, like she was from the streets and about to, was the phrase 'cut a bitch'?

"And right now you're getting on my last nerve. Switch." Said Quinn with an air of finality and reluctantly Santana moved to stand in my place. And I took hers. A strange sense of accomplishment washed over me as I did so…

I heard Principle Sue announcing us out front "And finally, thank god, please welcome to the stage Santa's Helpers doing "Jingle Bell Rock""

The curtain lifted and we struck a pose as Santana ran to the front to cue up out song on the boom box… she ran back to us and we started to walk forwards slowly, like we were prowling…

"_Jingle bell, jingle bell_

_Jingle bell rock_

_Jingle bells swing_

_And jingle bells ring"  
><em>

We waved our right arms in the air as our hips swished from side to side. Then we dropped down low to swivel our hips sexily by the stage floor… 

"_Snowing and blowing_

_Up bushels of fun"  
><em>  
>We slaps out thighs in a suggestive manner at the line 'bushels of fun'. I really hoped that my dad and Carole had decided not to come and to go out to dinner instead. The outfit alone would've been hard to explain but this dance? Yeah, that was going to be an awkward as hell conversation… <p>

"_Now the jingle hop has begun"_

We turned to face the left and put our right arms out to the side and turned to smile at the audience as we rocked our hips slightly…

"_Jingle bell, jingle bell_

_Jingle bell rock"_

We swayed out arms in the air as we spun in small individual circles…

"_Jingle bells chime_

_In jingle bell time"_

We took a small step to the left and put our hands above our heads and swayed our hips side to side before dropping them and turning so that the two on each side were facing the other two.

"_Dancing and prancing_

_In Jingle bell Square"_

As we turned back around Santana messed up a step and bumped into Quinn who had to shove her in the right direction, which in an unfortunate coincidence happened to be the direction of the boom box… Santana's foot caught it and the disk skipped…

"_In the fro-fro-fro-fro-fro-fro-fro-fro…"_

She gave the machine another kick and it flew off stage and hit Thad in the face. It took all my will power not to laugh. "Thad?" she asked in a worried voice…

We were technically frozen without any music… I bit my lip for a moment before singing in what I hoped was a loud enough tone…

"_What a bright time_

_It's the right time_

_To rock the night away"_

The rest of the Clastics and the audience caught on and started to sing along… so we continued our dance by moving out of our crouched poses and the shuffling side to side while our arms swayed… the audience clapped along for an added beat…

"_Jingle bell time_

_Is a swell time_

_To go riding in a one-horse sleigh"_

We jumped to face the opposite direction and griped the person in front of us' hips and then moved our arms up into a mock bunny rabbit pose. Then I heard a piano start to play and looked over at the music teacher brad, a nice guy with a beard who could play just about anything and everything on the piano smiled over at us.

"_Giddyap jingle horse_

_Pick up your feet_

_Jingle around the clock_

_Mix and mingle in a jingling beat"_

We moved our arms forwards and backwards for a while and then turned to face the audience and took a few small steps towards them before turning around…

"_That's the jingle bell_

_That's the jingle bell_

_That's the jingle bell rock"_

We did some little spins and when the song was over we struck a quick pose before running back stage.

~~~Somewhere in the audience~~  
>-Sue's POV-<p>

I smiled genuinely for the first time tonight. That guy in the middle there, the new kid this year, had some skills. I got's to get that lady face on ma cheerio's.

~~~Back Stage~~~  
>-Kurt's POV-<p>

That was so lucky out there. I thought my heart was going to stop. I breathed a small sigh of relief, "That was the best it ever went!" Brittany said hugging me as we got back stage. I smiled at her and hugged her back.

I felt an arm slide around my shoulders and I felt my cheeks heat up "That was awesome" said Sam. He gave me a smiled before turning to Quinn and trying kiss her. She shoved him off and said "Lip gloss" with a point to her mouth.

How could you not want him to kiss you? I mean you could redo your lip gloss easily anytime. Kissing Sam… I mean I didn't know what it felt like since I'd never kissed him, or anyone else before for that matter… but imagine kissing him would be like a movie style kiss, you know where fireworks went off behind your eyelids?

"Hey, good job, Africa." Said Artie as he passed me on the way out "Thanks" I smiled at him and he held his fist up and I hesitantly bumped it. He smiled and disappeared.

"Kurt's blushing. You totally have a crush on wheels Mac Legless" said Santana with condescension.

"No, I don't. And you shouldn't call him that. He's a nice guy" I felt Sam's hand tense on my shoulder for a moment.

"That's why you wanted to join the Math-Gleeks" said Santana in a smug tone. She knew I still liked Sam and just wanted me to do something to embarrass myself in front of him

"Math-Gleeks… You hate math." Said Sam with some, shock and was that jealousy in his voice?

"Look how red he is" Said Santana with a smirk "You love him. And he totally complimented you. That is so fetch."

Quinn suddenly turned to Santana angrily and snapped out "Santana, stop trying to make "fetch" happen. It's not going to happen!"

~~~Last day of School in History Class~~~

-Kurt's POV- 

Santana was giving her oral report but something about her seemed off. She was tense and she looked like she was about the rip the paper in half with how much she was shaking form, what I think was anger…

"Why should Caesar get to stomp around like a giant "while the rest of us try not to get smushed under his big feet?" she asked with another little Jenny from the block head swivel "What's so great about Caesar?" she asked with genuine honesty there. "Brutus is just as cute as Caesar. OK, Brutus is just as smart as Caesar. People totally like Brutus just as much as they like Caesar" she was getting angrier by the second and a lot louder with each word.

"And when did it become OK for one person to be the boss of everybody? Because that's not what Rome is about! "We should totally just stab Caesar!" she all but shrieked at the room. Everyone there had wide panicked eyes. She was scary as hell when she was mad.

_/Santana Lopez had cracked. __I just hoped that after our 'destroy Quinn plan' she didn't come after me with a knife or a chainsaw or something…/_

~~~Girl's Bathroom~~~

Santana had wet eyes but I wasn't sure if it was just Quinn she was upset over… "OK, if you even knew how mean she really is…" she swallowed for a moment and looked away before continuing.

"Look I really like… someone too. And I want nothing more than to just tell them how I feel sometimes even though that I think sometimes the feelings can mess everything up…" she took a breath for a moment. Whatever she was about to say was obviously very hard for her.

"Two years ago, when the rules came into play, she said that there were certain things we couldn't do, you know that part… But the dating rule? It doesn't just apply to ex's." she dabbed at her cheeks for a moment and then took another breath.

"It applies to anyone she doesn't give the ok to… it's why I go after stupid boys like Thad. Because they're on the approved list… it sounds dumb I know but it's either be at the top and miserable or be at the bottom and have a slushy thrown in your face every day, a dumpster dive at every break and then dirt piled into your lockers. In some case's kids actually get sticks thrown at them. Not even joking…" she took a shuddering breath and continued "So now I have to see her every day and act like I don't even like her, and it just kills me. I just want her to love me back…"

I wanted more than anything right now to comfort her. To give her a hug and tell her it would all be ok… and to just genuinely apologise for messing it all up even worse for her. I mean to go through that pain every day was one thing, but to have the only sort of friends you'd ever known turning on you too? I was going straight to hell for all this. I knew I was.

She'd calmed down a little now and seemed to be back in the angry stage of things… she wanted revenge. "And you know she cheats on Sam? Yes. Every Thursday he thinks she's doing SAT prep. But really, she's hooking up with Noah Puckerman in the projection room above the auditorium, and I never told anybody that, because… …I'm such a good friend"

I did lean in and hug her then. The shocking part was that she actually let me. We stayed like that for a few moments before she pulled away, fixed her make up in silence and stalked out as if nothing had happened…

_/Jackpot, Santana's secret had put the plan back in motion…/_


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6**

**-Kurt's POV-**  
><em><strong>After Christmas break, we tried every Thursday to help Sam catch Quinn in the act/**_

_We wrote a fake note telling Sam that his swim practice location had been moved to the projection room…_

**-Sam's POV-**  
>It felt odd to be back at school again. I'd enjoyed the time off and was not enjoying having to wake up at six am every day again. I was however excited about the fact that I now had full access to the school gym again. I was enjoying all the practice from football and swim team though. I mean abs like this don't just happen. It's why I haven't had a Cool Ranch Dorito in four years. God I could really go for some right now… or a hot dog…<p>

When I got to the gym for practice I saw a note from Coach Bieste saying that the swim team practice would be held in the projection room above the auditorium. That was weird. Why would it be there? Maybe someone but some dye in the pool or something…

I walked up the steps in the bleachers and tried the door to the projection room. It was stuck or locked or something. I heard a small gasp from inside the room and raised a brow… what was going on here? I tried the door again and gave it a small shove with one of my shoulders and it opened… to reveal Noah Puckerman standing there in a pair of Star Wars Boxers and nothing else, trying his best to cover his erection with his hands… I felt my eyebrows shoot up till my hair was hiding them. I just backed out the room and closed the door. Because you see, I'd ask but then I'd know. And why in the hell would I want that?

Ok I was gunna try and block that image from my mind. Not that I didn't think he was hot or anything but he wasn't really my type and it had been all kinds of awkward… The next week something as equally weird happened…

I was talking to a friend of mine by my locker when I heard a soft almost angelic voice behind me say "Hey" I turned and saw Kurt smiling at me and so I gave him a grin of my own "Hey, what's up?" I said with a little nod trying to look cool and possibly a little flirty, before he could answer someone came up behind him wearing a ski mask and grabbed the bag off his shoulder.

"My bag" he exclaimed and I started to chase the assailant, this freakishly tall dude, down the hallway when I heard Kurt yell after me, "Looks like he's headed for the projection room above the auditorium!" how could he look like he was headed in that direction… we weren't even near there…

I followed the guy and Kurt was right. He was headed towards the projection room above the auditorium… I'd have to ask him how he did that… maybe after I got him his bag back he'd thank me with a kiss like in the movies… ok stop brain. You're dating Quinn. And you're not a cheater so stop right now…

I was closing in on him and almost had him when he burst through the door and I found a sight that made me want to bleach my eyes. In front of me was Mr Schuester and a guy that looked a lot like my buddy Mike from the football team, locked in a very passionate embrace… this was about fifteen different levels of wrong… 

"Mr Schuester?" I asked in disbelief. I had to be dreaming this or something… it's what I get for messing up on my diet the other day… damn you Cool Ranch Doritos… at my words they broke apart and the kid turned around to confirm that, yep that was Mike Chang… this wasn't going to be awkward at practice at all…

The robber took his mask off and was openly gaping at the couple in front of us "Mike Chang?" the robber, also known as Finn Hudson sounded surprised but not shocked… then again I'd heard rumours about how close Mr Schue got with some of the kids… I always thought it was just some stupid gossip though…

This year was certainly off to a weird start and one thing I knew for sure was that I was never, ever setting foot in this room again.

**~~~Kurt's House~~~  
>-Kurt's POV-<br>**

Tina, Finn and Jesse had come over to mien for a study date and to try and come up with some new ideas to destroy the Clastics… we were in the dining room with our books all around us, Jesse was the only one actually studying though. My homework was already done, Tina was doodling and Finn was raiding the kitchen…

"Guys, why did we think we could do this? We're amateurs" I said looking to Tina. I was officially out of ideas on what to do. Nothing was working in the slightest. I'd considered talking to Santana but she was acting as if our conversation before break had never happened and to be honest? I was slightly terrified of her. Her nails were long and pointy like skewers and I liked myself the way I was thank you very much… pair hips be damned.

"No, we just have to regroup. Think outside our box." I had to hand it to Tina, she sure was dedicated.

"What are Kälteen bars?" I looked over to see Finn leaning on the counter holding a box of the aforementioned bars.

"They're these weird Swedish nutrition bars. Carole used to give them to the kids in Africa to help them gain weight" as he turned around and put them back in the cupboard me and Tina looked over at each other with grins on our faces. So this was what it was like to be perfectly in sync with someone… funny, I always thought that the first time that happened would be in a bit of a hotter situation with a very hot guy… who may or may not be one Samuel Evans… but I digress.

**~~~At Lunch Time the Next Day~~~  
><strong>  
>I was sat next to Quinn while Santana and Brittany sat opposite us. I think they were talking about a human canon and cheerio skirts… I wasn't paying much attention though so I could be wrong. Actually I hope I was wrong. What kind of coach shoots a kid out of a canon? Where was I? Oh right Quinn… <p>

"They're these weird nutrition bars my step mom uses to lose weight" I told her holding up the Kälteen bars. She hesitated for a fraction of a second before snatching it out of my hands viciously.

"Give me it" she looked at the ingredients for a moment and then frowned heavily "It's all in, like, Swedish or something" she turned to me with a raised brow.

I smiled and was quick to say "Yeah, you know, there's some weird ingredient in them that's not legal in the U.S. Yet" I still wasn't brilliant at lying yet so I'd worked out what to say the night before with Tina.

She smiled at me then and asked if it was "Ephedrine?"

"No" I shook my head at her. "Phentermine" "No, it just burns carbs. It just burns up all your carbs" I smiled and turned away for a moment to get a drink of water.

"I really wanna lose three pounds" she said and god was I getting tired of hearing that. Wanna lose three pounds? Exercise, go for a run. Steal some of that weird drink the girls on the 'I don't eat anything at all' table drank everyday…

She gave us all a menacing look for a moment and Santana, eager to get back in the good books, said "Oh, my God, what are you talking about?" while Britt smiled and said "You're so skinny"

However I think she could tell there were insincere and just rolled her eyes at them and told us all to "Shut up!" before ripping open a Kälteen bar and devouring it.

**~~~Later at Quinn's house~~~**

_**/The weird thing about hanging out with Quinn, was that I could hate her, and at the same time, I still wanted her to like me/**_

She sat me down at her vanity table and leaned in close to me with a wide smile.

"OK. You have really good eyebrows" she sounded genuine at least.

"Thanks. The trick is to shape from the bottom up" Santana went to part my hair but Quinn hip checked her away with a nasty look "Move"

_**/Same with Santana… The meaner Quinn was to her, the more Santana tried to win Quinn back. She knew it was better to be in The Clastics, hating life than to not be in at all/**_

**~~~Next day at school~~~**

The next day at school the four of us strut down the halls like we owned the place. Which we kind of did in a way… then again who couldn't help but notice us? We looked amazing.

Santana was wearing this all white outfit, a white form fitting vest like top with tight white pants, hair down and flowing with flawless makeup on her face and pointy toed high heeled shoes. She looked a little like Madonna when she paired up with Brittany Spears for this song about being against the music…

Quinn's hairs was down and flowing in soft waves as she walked, she was dressed in this knee length white trimmed dress with a smokey grey middle and a black ribbon tied around her waist, it sort of floated when she walked, to complete the look she had on a pair of black leggings that stopped mid-thigh and black ankle boots.

Brittany had her hair out in gentle curls and was dressed in this adorable white and black stripped top with a red shining heart in the middle of it. A pair of black shorts with black suspenders attached. A pair of gorgeous kohl black knee high boots completed her look.

They all looked fantastic. But not as fabulously fantastic as me if I do say so myself… I had my hair coifed up in this way that made it look sexy as hell and like it took hours to get just right. I had on some guy liner to make my baby blues pop. A white t-shirt with the words: I LIKE BOYS; adorned my chest and a red and black checked long sleeved flannel shirt over it. Red really was my colour after all. A pair of the tightest black skinny jeans you'd ever see in your life and a pair black calf hugging boots on my feet for that extra fierce look. 

_**/Because being with The Plastics was like being famous. People looked at you all the time, and everybody just knew stuff about you/**_

**~~~Interview Time! ~~~**

A girl with her hair pulled back into a tight pony tail dressed in a cheerleading uniform said "That new boy moved here from Africa."

Susie Peppers said "I saw Kurt Hummel wearing Army pants and flip-flops, so I bought Army pants and flip-flops"

Thad the resident Skeez said "That Kurt guy is hot. He might even be hotter than Quinn Fabray."

Principle Sue says "Not that I care but gossip in the hell hole is hard to miss so I can tell you that I heard Quinn Fabray is dating Sam Evans again. The two were seen canoodling at Chris Colfer's Halloween party. Now jewfro get out of my office before I make you sit in your butt sweat chair…"

**~~~Back in the Hallway of Hotness…~~~**

I saw Sam coming up to us, or more precisely Quinn. He had this red and blue short sleeves checked button down shirt over this long sleeved grey top, red converse and a pair of baggy blue jeans that somehow still made his butt look amazing… Should I have been paying more attention to where I was going than to Sam's ass? Perhaps… perhaps if I had done I would have seen IT coming. And I ain't talking about some creepy ass clown from Stephen King novel. I was talking about the icy bitch slap in front of me.

For you see, I'd turned my attention to the front just in time to be hit in the face by a grape slushie. A tradition here at McKinley that being Clastic I'd been able to avoid for the past six months. Most of the jocks at this school picked on the kids lower down on the food chain by either throwing them into the dumpster like I'd witnessed on my first day here or… throwing an ice cold, corn syrup laden, sugary sweet drink into your face. I and everyone around me sort of froze for a moment.

I looked at the cretin you'd done this, some pathetic kicker from the football team named Langanthal, who was rambling out an apology and trying to say it was for the kid with the unruly jewfro the right of me. Both of them seemed terrified of what I would do to them. I took a step closer to Langanthal but before I could bitch him out or bitch slap him I felt a hand on my arm leading me away to the boy's bathroom. I looked over and saw that it was Sam.

"I'll help you clean up ok?" he smiled at me shyly. I smiled back and as the door closed I heard Quinn, Santana and Brittany say "Don't worry. We'll take care of him" and the last image I has as the door closed was the three of them descending on Langanthal with a predatory grace most Hyena's would be proud of…

**~~~Boy's Bathroom~~~**  
>Sam lead me over to the sinks and then pulled a chair across the room. He reached into his gym bag and put one of his towels down on it. I looked up at him through the syrupy mess in my eyes in confusion. He shrugged his shoulders and said "Just in case, this is the guy's room after all" despite my current situation I chuckled and sat down when he told me too.<p>

"I take it from the chair that this happens a lot?" I leaned back against the sink and felt warm water running through my hair. "More than you'd think actually. In fact, most kids here bring a spare change of clothes with them… if you're not popular here then you're kind of fair game"

I closed my eyes for a moment as the water ran over my forehead and sighed "Is it like this at every school? Or did I just strike it lucky the first time around with my choice?" he laughed a little at that as he gently dabbed at my eyes with a moist towelette. I wouldn't have pegged him for the kind to carry them around… but if everyone carried spare clothes then I suppose it was the next logical step in cleansing oneself. I smiled a little as the sting from the corn syrup started to ebb away…

He moved his hands up into my hair and started to move some of the more stubborn slush out of the way and sweet GaGa it felt amazing. I sighed happily for a moment before I heard him say "Hey it could be worse. I hear that Carmel High pelts their kids with eggs and pee balloons" my eyes snapped open then "Pee balloons? As in… pee balloons?" he nodded slightly "I think I might need to throw up now. That is so disgusting. What kind of Neanderthal would do something like that?"

I heard him sigh as he moved away "I guess it takes all kinds…" he leaned over to his bag and pulled out some shampoo. It wasn't exactly the kind I was expecting. I wet my lips with my tongue for a moment before saying "You know they make special shampoo for colour treated hair" he gave me and odd look for a moment and said "I don't dye my hair" "Ah huh, you tell yourself exactly what you need to too help you sleep at night Sammy Bean"

He came back over and started to massage the shampoo into my hair. I looked up at him and he was smiling down at me. I felt my heart rate pick up a little faster which I thought would have been impossible considering it had been going a mile a second since he'd pulled me in here. The tip of his tongue peeked out and wet his lips and I was transfixed. Sam was so beautiful… and god those lips were made for kissing. I wanted to lean up so badly… he smiled at me again and said "Close your eyes while I rinse this ok? Don't wanna end up doing more damage than the slushy did"

I complied at closed my eyes and felt his hands gently moving the water over my face. I swallowed thickly for a moment. Who knew that having your hair washed by someone else could feel so… sensual?

I felt his hands leave me for a moment and heard a rustling noise. I peeked out between my now corn syrup free lashes and saw him pick up another towel. He came back over to me and I could hear him softly humming along to a tune I didn't recognise. He placed the towel around my shoulders and leaned over to turn off the taps.

"…Sam?" I had no idea why I was so nervous all of a sudden. He looked down at me and smiled sweetly "Yeah Kurt?" I swallowed again "Thank you, for doing this… for helping me. You didn't have too… and I really appreciate it" he grinned at me for a moment as he helped me sit up "You're welcome" he wet his lips "For I too have felt the iceberg bitch slap of a slushie to the face… it's not fun. And I know you'd have done the same thing for me too right?" he smiled at me jovially but I could sense a small nervousness there too.

I reached my hand up and touched his shoulder in an affectionate way "Of course I would have Sam" I looked at him in wonder for a moment "Though why on earth anyone would want to slushie you is a mystery to me. I mean, you're amazing…" he blushed a little at that and said "Before I joined the football team and became the star quarter back I was just this blonde geek who loved Star Trek, Comic books, singing and doing kind of bad impressions of celebrities"

I raised a brow in question and confusion "And those are bad qualities… how exactly?" he smiled at me and said "Well at this school they make you a colossal nerd. And nerds get a slushie the face" he grinned for a moment before stepping away.

He adapted a lower styled voice and started singing melodically "Cool kids don't sing, Cool kids don't sing. Or stay after school with Mr Schue. Cool kids don't sing, Cool kids don't sing. The place to be is with Coach Sue" I started giggling uncontrollably before his voice changed to a higher pitched register "Cool kids can sing, Cool kids can sing. In Glee I feel I've found my place. Cool kids can sing, Cool kids can sing. Even if it means a, slushy in my face… A slushy in my... FAAAAAACE... FAAAAAACE…"

We were both laughing uncontrollably as he finished the chorus. I smiled over at him once we'd calmed down and said "You know; you have a really lovely singing voice. If you'd been in the talent show at Christmas we'd have had some serious competition" he smiled at me as he put his emergency slushy supplies away.

"I have thought about it about it before… but what exactly would I have sung? A song about my trouty mouth?" he pointed to his lips "Or maybe a little Justin Bieber?" he pulled a mock shocked face and sang "Baby, baby, baby, Oooh… Baby, baby, baby… No! Baby, baby, baby, Oooh… I thought you'd always ways be mine…" and there went my heart back into jack hammer mode.

I swallowed thickly again and said "First things first. You Sam Evans do not, have a trouty mouth. Whatever that is" he smiled a little at that and I continued with "And though I have very little idea of whom Justin Bieber is, I do know that you would have torn that song a new one"

He walked a over to me to collect the final towel now that my hair was dry and said "Thanks Kurt. I mean it" our hands touched when I handed the towel over and we were both just staring at them for about three minutes before we both pulled away. I stood up and checked out the remaining damage in the mirror. Well my shirt was ruined… my jeans seemed to be fine though, and I was going to need to do some extensive skin care treatment when I got home. I felt a shiver go down my spine at how unbelievably Clastic that sounded. Maybe I was spending too much time with them…

I saw Sam in the mirror behind me undoing the buttons on his shirt and pulling it off. I gulped for a moment and wondered if the other one would be coming off too… then he came up behind me and held out said shirt.

He must have seen my confused look in the mirror since he said "Since your shirts kind of got ruined by that slushie and you don't carry a spare change of clothes I figured you might want this" he shook it twice and I smiled at him gratefully "Thank you, you are literally my hero right now. Walking around in a freezing wet purple stained shirt all day can't be good for my health… or skin" he laughed a little at that and I walked past him to go into one of the stalls to change.

As I stepped into the stall I nearly threw up from the added stench. How exactly did it smell worse in here than in the whole of the restroom? I could hear Sam finish cleaning up outside as I pulled the slushie covered shirt over my head. My red and black one wasn't too bad but it still was wet in patches…

"Hey Kurt?" I looked at the door when I heard Sam's voice "Yes?" I pulled Sam's shirt on and started to button it up. It was about two sizes too big for me but I didn't really care right now. "I put lemon juice in my hair" "What?" "When I first moved here a couple of years ago I thought if I looked like Patrick Swayze in this surfer movie I'd seen him in then people would think I was cool. So I put lemon juice in my hair"

I opened the door to the stall dressed in Sam's shirt, holding my ruined clothes and said "I knew you died your hair" I placed the clothes down and reached up to touch it. "How did you know though?" "I have three talents. One is being able to change a tyre faster than any NAS Car pit crew could ever dream of. Two is being able to spot a dye job from a mile away whether it'd fantastic or a flop and the third is one I learned recently… if I hear a song once I know the words to it forever more" he grinned at me then and reached his hand out to adjust my collar.

For a moment we just looked at each other. My eyes darted down to look at his lips and he moved a little closer to me. I closed my eyes as I felt his hands move into my hair and I could lightly feel his breath against my cheek… I leaned in a little but before my lips could reach his the bell for next period rang and we jolted apart like we'd been electrocuted…

"I guess we'd better get to class…" I said reluctantly and he nodded slowly for a moment. I turned to pick up my bag and my soiled clothes. Then I walked over to the door, and I raised my hand in a small wave "See you later Sam… And thanks again… for, for everything" I felt his eyes follow my path and I also felt a kernel of hope rise in my chest… maybe I still stood a chance with him after all…

(The song mentioned in this chapter: . com/watch?v=svFd7GxkVvo remove the space )


	7. Chapter 7

**AN- **Hi, I just wanted to say thank you to everyone who watches and follows this story =D Thank you all *hugs*.

And some special thanks to:  
><strong>blackmagic661<strong> And a big thank you to you hun for sticking with this story so far :D *hugs*

**LaLaTing** thank you very much for your lovely review :)

**RainbowPower** thank you very much for the lovely review it really made my day *hugs*. I'm really glad you're liking it so far *smiles*. The reason I'm contacting you like this is that your email address didn't show up in the review.****

**Chapter 7******

**~~~A few Weeks Later at the Soap Store~~~**

_**/I was a man possessed.**__**I spent about ninety per cent of my time talking about Quinn. And the other ten per cent of the time, I was praying for someone else to bring her up so I could talk about her more… my spy life had taken over my real life. Like I was in some sort of game and it was so addicting that I forgot about the real world… a role play game where I could dress up and be bitchy, catty and full of disdain for everything and everyone but yet everyone still loved me…/**_

"She's not even that good-looking if you really look at her." I was adjusting my hair in one of the mirrors in the store while Tina stood behind the counter flipping through a magazine.

"I don't know. Now that's she's getting fatter, she's got pretty big jugs." She said in a bored tone as she turned the page.

_**/I could hear people getting bored with me. But I couldn't stop. It just kept coming up, like word vomit…/**_

I moved away from the mirror when I was certain my hair looked perfect and walked over to her. Perhaps an observation of my own about Quinn could cheer her up… "I have this theory, that if you cut all her hair off, she'd look like that guy from the X-Men movies" I said to her with amusement in my voice.

"Yeah, I know. You told me that one before" oh… so much for cheering her up… she suddenly turned to me with a smile and handed me this flyer "Hey, I'm having an art show. So why don't you take a night off from your double life. I want you to see it."

I looked down at the date and as from what I could remember I was free. I gave her a perky smile and said "Cool, sounds like fun" Then suddenly she leaned forward with a face like she'd just seen a dead rat or something… "What is that smell?" I gave her an odd look before remembering the gift Quinn had given me yesterday.

"Oh, Quinn gave me some perfume. Katy Perry. Isn't it awesome?" the bottle was lovely, a long slender crystalline purple cat with golden eyes and a golden heart collar. I thought the scent was nice, possibly a little strong but in small does it was lovely. It was a sweet fragrance. It combined top notes of peach, forbidden apple, gardenia and green bamboo with the heart of jasmine, pink freesia and Bulgarian rose and the base of vanilla orchid, creamy sandalwood, white amber, coconut and musk… it was blended so wonderfully that I couldn't get enough of it. From what I've read of Katy Perry, the perfume suited her personality well. She was a little like a scratch-and-sniff that smells of bubble gum. Cartoony with hard lines and bright colours…

"You smell like a baby prostitute." Tina obviously disagreed with me. I gave her a wan smile and said a simple "Thank you" she just gave me a look and then started to spray this weird lavender air freshener thing around. Though why she'd need that in a soap store was beyond me…

**~~~Math Class~~~  
>-Kurt's POV-<br>**_**  
>Meanwhile, I was finding any excuse I could to talk to Sam/  
><strong>_  
>I tapped Sam on the shoulder "I don't get this. Do you get any of this?" I asked looking at my paper in what I hoped was a confused and frustrated manner…<p>

"Nice job, Kurt" Said Miss Pillsbury as she handed me back my homework with a big A on the front of it… stupid bad timing.

"Kind of seems like you get it" said Sam with a small amused smiled as he turned back around.

_**/If I was gonna keep this going, I was gonna have to really commit/**_

**~~~A few days later in math class~~~**

"Not your best" said Miss Pillsbury as she handed me back my last assignment. She'd given me a D. I know it should have been a bad thing but it just made me happy. Now Sam could help me out and we could talk more.

"Damn, Africa, what happened?" asked Artie as he snuck a look at my paper. I gave him a small half-hearted confused shrug as if to tell him that I had no idea what had gone wrong.

"How'd you do?" said Sam as he turned around and smiled at me. "Not so good" I replied as I showed him my paper. His eyes widened kind of comically for a moment. "You know, I think I need a tutor" I gave him a small hopeful yet coy look.

"I'll tutor you, if you ever wanna get together after school or something" he gave me a small friendly smile and I smiled at him in return "Do you think Quinn would mind?" I asked with faked hesitance.

"No. You guys are friends…" he trailed off for a moment, probably thinking that Quinn would actually in fact be pissed if she knew. "…Well, maybe we just won't tell her" we grinned at each other conspiritually.

**~~~A Few Days Later at Sam's House~~~  
>-Kurt's POV-<strong>

"So, what did you get for this one?" I asked him as we went over our work. I knew my answers were right but I needed him to think I had no idea I was right.

He checked his notes for a moment and brushed his fringe out of his eyes "Well, the first time I did it, I got a zero."

_**/Wrong./  
><strong>_

"But then when I checked it, I got… …one" he said with a small smile in my direction. God I loved that smile. It was so cute and… and real. Everything in my life was so, fake lately and it was just so nice and kind of amazing to see something real again. 

_**/There you go/**_

"I got one too" I said as I gave him a small and real smiled of my own. He leaned a little closer to me with a cheeky yet flirty grin on his face as he said "Yeah, you have to check it because sometimes the product of two negative integers is a positive number" I could smell his cologne, it was citrus based and earthy. It was amazing.

"Yeah, like negative four and negative six" I leaned a little closer to him too and I think we both knew what would happen next. And there wasn't anything to stop us this time. No slutty back stabbers, no school bells, no parents or siblings…

"That's right. That's good" we were so close I could feel his breath ghosting across my lips as we spoke. It smelled like mint and cinnamon, with an undercurrent of diet coke. Perfect. I smiled at him "Well, you're a good tutor" and then it happened.

It finally happened after six and a half months of dancing around each other. We were kissing. I felt sparks igniting behind my eye lids as the slid shut. Like an entire display of fireworks was playing in my head. I felt warm all over. So this was kissing… this was my first kiss that counted… and it was with Sam. He moved closer to me for a moment, deepening the kiss and lightly nipping my lower lip and then he suddenly pulled away like he'd been burned.

When I looked over at him his lips were slightly swollen and his cheeks were pink. He was looking down guiltily and took a few deep breaths before turning back to me and saying "Man, look, I... I can't do this. It's not fair to Quinn."

I felt angry all of a sudden, why did she get to keep winning? She didn't deserve him. "Why do you like her?" he gave me a soft look for a moment and said "Look, I know she can be really mean sometimes, but…" he thinks she's mean? "Then why do you like her?" 

"Why do you?" he came back at me snappily. I flinched for a second and he softened his tone and gave me an apologetic look before continuing with "Look, there's good and bad to everybody. Right? Quinn's just… She's just more up-front about it" but she wasn't that was the thing. She was lying to him and manipulating him. She was treating him like crap and he didn't even know about it. That wasn't fair he deserved to- 

_**/Oh, no… It was coming up. The word vomit… I didn't mean to say it, but.../**_

"She's cheating on you!" it slipped out of my mouth before I could stop it. I closed my eyes for a moment in disbelief. I shouldn't have told him that. But he did have a right to know…

I looked over at him and he had a shocked and very angry look on his face "What?" since it was already out there now I might as well tell him what I knew about the situation…

_**/We Can Cross Sam Evans off the board/**_

_****_**-Kurt's POV-**

**~~~Quinn's bedroom~~~  
><strong>

Quinn had given us a group text telling us that Sam had dumped her and that we needed to get over there now. So here we were in her room, Quinn was sat in between Santana and Brittany, her mom was by the door. Brittany put her hand on Quinn's leg comfortingly and asked "Did he say why?"

"Somebody told him about Noah Puckerman" said Quinn in between sobs. I shared a look with Santana and unknowingly started to hold my breath. 

"Who?" she asked, my heart started pounding. And despite all she'd done, I felt incredibly guilty right now. I'd made her cry.

Quinn shrugged at Santana "He said some guy on the baseball team" Santana and I both released a small, quiet sigh of relief. "Baseball team?" she questioned further.

"I gave him everything!" she cried out then looked morose for a moment "I was half a virgin when I met him" Half a virgin? Was that even possible?

"You wanna do something fun?" asked Brittany trying to cheer her up. Her mom picked up on the vibe too and said "You wanna go to Taco Bell?"

"How can a bell, be made out of tacos'?" asked Britt in all her adorable naivety. She was so precious sometimes… Quinn apparently didn't think so… 

"I can't go to Taco Bell mother; I'm on an all-carb diet. And my God, Brittany, you are so stupid!" she got up and ran into her bathroom. Santana looked between me and Britt and er need to be back in the good books won out as she chased after Quinn. "Quinn, wait. Talk to me" she sent me a look before she entered the bathroom though that clearly said if I didn't cheer Brittany up I was dead.

"Nobody understands me" I heard Quinn say as she opened the bathroom door "I understand you" said Santana as she entered. Her mom looked over at us and said that she was still going to Taco Bell. She was apparently craving Tacos now… Brittany had such sad eyes. I mean I know she's not as quick on the uptake as everyone else but she wasn't stupid.

I sat down next to Brittany and put a hand on hers in comfort "You're not stupid, Brittany" she smiled at me briefly and said "No… I am, actually. Everyone says so, and I'm failing almost everything" 

I gave her a small smile and said "Well, there must be something you're good at" she brightened and said "I can put my whole fist in my mouth. Wanna see?" she lifted it up to demonstrate and I grabbed her hand to stop her "No. That's OK. Anything else?"

"I know a lot about cats… and I'm kind of psychic. I have a fifth sense…" I gave her a questioning look mixed in with a bit of scepticism and asked "What do you mean?" 

"It's like I have ESPN or something. My breasts can always tell when it's gonna rain. And I can totally read my cats mind" she said it with a straight face. How can you say something like that with a straight face?

"Really? That's amazing" I gave her a smile that was a little too wide to be believable to anyone else "Well, they can tell when it's raining… and I think Mr Tubbington has started to smoke pot again. He just lies there all day. I'm also pretty sure he found the key to my diary…" I just stared at her for a moment. That was… I needed a minute to figure out how the hell I was supposed to respond to something like that…

**~~~A week later in Math Class~~~  
><strong>

_**/I had to admit, I was mildly horrified when Sam didn't immediately ask me to be his girlfriend/**_

I smiled as I saw him walk into the room but I didn't get a response from him. He was wearing his Target Shirt again; it really made his eyes stand out. I attempted a small wave as he got closer but he just slumped down into his seat._****_

_**/Ok, I know he was sad, but how much time did he need? Quinn had already moved on…/**_

**-Quinn's room and POV-  
><strong>

I was on the bed with Puck. I may or may not have had a few wine coolers, I'd felt fat earlier and figured that the hangover tomorrow could help get rid of pound or two… his hands were moving all over me and I wasn't exactly hating the feeling… I bit his lip and rolled us so that I was on top. No matter what the situation, I always come out on top.

I vaguely heard my mother somewhere in the background say something like, "Do you guys need anything? Some snacks, a condom? Let me know. Oh, God love you." I just ignored her and paid my full attention to Puck. He already had the condom situation sorted out; after all he said I could trust him.

_**/But overall, the plan was going pretty well. Sam had dumped Quinn, and she was unknowingly eating five thousand calories a day. It was time to turn our attention to the army of skanks…**_

**~~~Next day at school by the Spring Fling Voting booth~~~  
>-Jesse's POV-<br>**  
>I was at the voting table in the halls… bored out of my mind. I couldn't even listen to my music since I had to pay attention to the students and answer any questions they had about how this whole thing worked. I swear if one more person asks me if they can nominate anyone they want to I will cut a bitch and smash an egg into their hair. Maybe I should have gone to Carmel; my bitchiness is on par with theirs after all. And their glee club is undefeated national champs…<p>

I looked around to make sure no one was watching me and then smiled as I dug into my inside pocket and pulled out a handful of nominations and put them into the ballad box. Then I reached for the second pile of them and smirked a little to myself. This was going to be good…

Ok I knowI shouldn't do this, since it isn't part of the plan but I would like an advisor that will actually give a crap for a change. Oh and it will be hilarious to see Tina's face when she finds out about this…

**~~~Home Room~~~  
>-Kurt's POV-<strong>

****I was in home room when I heard the speaker system flare up and Becky Jackson's voice fill the room…

_**/z/The nominees for Spring Fling Queen are as follows**__: _**Quinn Fabray/z/**

Quinn was probably pretty pleased at that news. I imagine her waving and smiled at her class mates as if she were royalty

_**/z/Santana Lopez/z/**_

Bye-bye smug face, hello mildly confused face. I figured that the news wouldn't sit too well with her. Santana would probably be happy enough to be voted in though. She was probably smiling a little condescendingly at some of the other students and waving happily. 

_**/z/Tina Cohen-Chang/z/**_

Ok. That one was new. I turned to look at Jesse and saw him and Finn trying and failing to cover their snickers behind their hands. Tina leaned over and whacked Jesse in the arm for it. "I couldn't help myself! Finn's idea was too good to pass up" she then turned and hit Finn. 

I had to admit it was kind of funny, Tina looked like she wanted to kill them both and I bet it was annoying Quinn to no end. No doubt she'd be wondering "What is happening to the world?" or something like that.

_**/z/and the final nominee… …is Kurt Hummel/z/**_

I stopped for a moment. What the hell? I turned to Finn and Jesse and said "Jesse, you put me in there too? That's not part of the plan. Also it's a little offensive to be nominated for queen."

He gave me a shrug and slightly understanding/confused face "I didn't put you in there"

"You mean I'm really nominated? I'm not sure if I'm flattered or appalled…" I smiled a little. It was kind of nice to be nominated… even if it was for the girl's part. Then again if it was a duet I'd be the Diana Ross part so I was going to choose to take this as a compliment.

Out of the corner of my eye I saw Finn, Jesse and Tina mocking my happy face and I just flipped them off. We all smiled at each other or a moment before Miss Pillsbury brought our attention back to the front.

_**~~~At the Mall~~~  
>In January, Quinn had put a Spring Fling dress on hold at a store called One, Three, Five. But being Plastic, she needed our advice before she could actually buy it…/**_

I had to hand it to her the dress was fabulous. The light blue made her eyes stand out and if she'd not started to eat the Kälteen bars then it would have accentuated her figure beautifully. But alas for her, she had. And now she couldn't get it closed. "Can someone zip me up?"

Brittany walked over to her and tried to get the zip up but after about two minutes of trying had to admit defeat "It won't close" perfect. Must resist urge to smile at this fantastic news.

"It's a five" said Quinn in outrage. Maybe she should have stayed with the Cheerio's. That control panel would definitely have helped her out here.

"OK, it must be marked wrong" Santana said with a slightly grumpy attitude. She'd been getting sick with the way Quinn had been treating us lately. We all had.

Quinn turned to me and said "Kurt, all I've been eating are these Kälteen bars. They suck." Crap. She needed to keep eating those bars… think back to the plan we'd devised…

"No, no, this is just how they work. This is all your water weight" she gave me a disbelieving look so I explained further "First you bloat, and then you drop ten pounds like that" I snapped my fingers and she rose a brow at me to continue.

"Well, the Kälteen bars have burned up all your carbs, and now your body's just running on water. But once the water's gone, then you'll be all muscle. It explains it all on the label" it was the exact opposite of what it said on the label but hopefully she'd never realise that.

"You know Swedish?" she was looking at me like I'd grown another head. "Yeah, everyone in Africa can read Swedish"

"Ma'am, do you have this in the next size up?" asked Britt. "Sorry. We only carry sizes one, three and five. You could try Sears. Quinn looked like she'd been shot when she heard that news…

**/And now the word's 'Hot Body' could be crossed off the board/**


	8. Chapter 8

Thank you to all my followers. I really appreciate all the support you give me to keep writing this. Hope you like the new chapter! :D****

**Chapter 8  
><strong>**-Kurt's POV-****  
><strong>_**~~~Math Class~~~**_

As the bell rang I was hurrying to catch Sam before he left class when Miss Pillsbury stopped me and handed me a form "Kurt. I need your parents to sign this so they know that you're failing"

"Failing?" great. That would go over well. Dad and Carole were going to be really pissed at me now… just what I needed. I looked down at my test, 58- D. I let out a small frustrated sigh and Miss Pillsbury smiled at me. "You know what's weird about your quizzes, Kurt, is that all the work is right and just the answers are wrong"

"Really?" where is this going exactly? There is a cute bottle blond in the hallway I need to speak to.

"Really, Kurt, I know that having a boyfriend may seem like the most important thing in the world right now, but you don't have to dumb yourself down to get guys to like you."

_**/How would you know? /**_

"I know, "How would I know", right?" I tried to hide my shock at her mind reading capabilities. "I'm divorced. I'm broke from getting divorced. The only guy that ever calls my house is Ken Tenaka from Chase Visa" awkward moment… she picked up some plastic gloves and slipped them on, picked up some baby wipes and started to clean some grapes with them… that was so weird and probably tasted disgusting…

"And you know why? Because I'm a pusher. I push people. I pushed my husband into Dental School. That was a bust. I pushed myself into working three jobs, which has given me a serious case of the cleanly bugs. And now I'm gonna push you, because I know you're smarter than this" she smiled at me sweetly so I smiled back as nicely as I could.

"Thanks, Miss Pillsbury. And if there's anything I can do for extra credit, please let me know." She gave me a sweet little head bob. She really was like something out of a Disney movie… "Oh, I will"

**~~~Later at Quinn's house~~~**

I was pacing the length of Quinn's room feeling more agitated than I ever had in my life. Santana was perched on the edge of Quinn's bed and Brittany was on the floor in front of it leaning against it. They'd noticed my anger and asked if I needed to vent so…

"I hate her! I mean, she's totally failing me on purpose because I didn't join those stupid Math-Gleeks! She was so queer. She was like, "I'm a pusher, Kurt. I'm a pusher."" I felt a lot better after getting it out in the open. I mean I know she wasn't doing it because of the Math-Gleeks but what else could it be?

I heard a small bark of laughter from Quinn and turned to see her lying back on her bed lifting to little weights in the air to tone her arms up. "What does that even mean?"

"Like a drug pusher?" asked Santana with a curious raised brow. I shrugged lightly, and chose to ignore her interest in the drugs themselves and replied with "Probably. She said she works three jobs. You know, I bet she sells drugs on the side to pay for her pathetic divorce" I moved my hair out of the way and put a hand on hip in frustration.

"You let it out lady face. Put it in the book." I rolled my eyes at Santana but sat down between her and Brittany anyway to write it in. after all it was just between us and saying it had helped me feel a lot better.

**~~~The Next day in home room~~~**

_**/And ok, I know it may look like I'd become a bitch,**__**but that's only because I was acting like a bitch/**_

I was checking my hair in my compact mirror when I heard Tina talking "Hey, I called you last night. How come you didn't call me back?" this conversation had happened a lot lately and though I was sorry for forgetting to call her back I was kinda bored with having 'this' particular conversation again. "Oh, I got busy. Sorry"

She hesitated for a moment before replying with "So you need a ride to my art show this weekend?" I mentally checked my schedule for this weekend… shoot, a double booking "No. I have to go to Madison with my parents. I'm so sorry."

"Well, you wanna watch a movie tonight?" I heard Finn ask. I looked over at him for a moment while I checked the plans for tonight in my head… also no good for me. "Can't, I'm doing major Plastic sabotage tonight." I looked over at them and saw three matching looks of confusion "But we don't have anything planned for tonight." said Jesse slowly as if he was checking his own inner schedule.

I heard the bell ring and smiled. "Oh, I planned this one on my own. Love you. Bye" I blew them all a quick kiss and left without a look back. If I had have looked back I'd have seen two really annoyed faces and Jesse blow a pissed off kiss back at me.

**~~~at home on the phone~~~**

I dialled Quinn's number and said "Santana thinks you're mad at her because she's running for Spring Fling Queen" I heard her reply in a slightly thick voice, was she eating something?

"Oh, my God, I'm not mad at her. I'm worried about her. I think somebody nominated her as a joke or something. And when nobody votes for her, she's gonna have a total meltdown. And who's gonna have to take care of her? Me."

"So you don't think anyone will vote for her?" I could hear a weird noise in the background, a lot of cheering. Maybe she was watching TV or something.

"Kurt, she's not pretty. I mean, that sounds bad, but whatever. The Spring Fling Queen is always pretty. And the crazy thing is, is that it should be Brittany, but people forget about her because she's so stupid and she'such a slut. Anyway, I gotta go. I'm going to bed." And she hung up before I could say another word.

But it didn't really matter. I'd got the Intel I needed and so had Santana "Well, she's not mad at you" I said to her. Three way calling could be fun when you were the one being tricked. "Hold on" I heard her say in a small voice. Maybe fun wasn't the right word.

"Are you OK?" I heard her shush me and then another voice chimed in "Hello?" Brittany, sweet Brittany. Why wasn't I allowed to talk to her?

"If someone said something bad about you, you'd want me to tell you, right?" Brittany hesitated a moment after Santana's question and then said "No"

"What if it was someone you thought was your friend?" in a way I was kind of hoping for this. I heard Brittany say "What are you...? Hold on. Other line"

When Britt clicked hold Santana said to me "I'm not taking this anymore, I could destroy that girl if I wanted to. I have razor blades all up in my hair" I considered my answer for a moment before saying "Good for you, San"

**-Brittany's POV-  
><strong>Santana was acting weird on the phone and I hoped she was ok but I needed to get rid of the person on the other line first "Hello?" Quinn's voice responded with "Let's go out" did she mean on a date?

"…OK. Hold on. I'm on the other line with Santana" before I could tell Sanny about my new date Quinn yelled "Don't invite Santana. She's driving me nuts."

How could you drive nuts? "Hold on a sec" "OK, hurry up" I clicked the hold button and said to Santana "It's Quinn. She wants to go out with me tonight, but she told me not to tell you"

"Do not hang out with her" I thought she'd be happy about my news, well maybe not the secret part but the date part… I had to ask "Why?" she hesitated for a moment before saying "You don't want me to tell you" but I did want her to tell me… "You can tell me anything Santana. Hold on a sec."

"She's not happy" I pressed a button on the phone. The voice I was expecting sounded different "Who isn't?" wait, that was wrong… "Who's this?" "Santana" oh, I must have pressed the wrong button "Right. Hold on." I clicked the right button and said "She sounds upset…"

"I know. Just get rid of her" that seemed really mean. I clicked back to Santana and said "OK. What is it Sanny?" I smiled waiting for her response. I hope she was ok "Quinn says everyone hates you because you're such a dumb slut" wait, what. "She said that?" I felt kind of angry and upset myself now. "You didn't hear it from me." as she rang off I could have worn I heard Kurt's voice saying "Little harsh, San" and Santana respond with "Whatever. She has a right to know." But that might just have been me…

I didn't want to believe it but Santana had never lied to me before… I bit my lip before saying to Quinn "I can't go out. I'm sick." And then I faked a cough. That should make her believe me.

I smiled a little before I heard Quinn say "Boo. You whore" and hung up on me. I was left shocked; I mean why would she do that? I decided to call Santana back and talk to her about it. Talking to Sanny always made me feel better. Well, except for that last conversation… maybe we could get Kurt in too… he was really nice, and he had super soft hands, like a baby… Oooh I wonder what it would be like to date a baby?

**~~~Next day at lunch~~~  
>-Kurt's POV-<strong>  
>I was already sitting with Quinn when Santana and Brittany walked up to us, their lunch trays in one hand and their other hands were linked by the little pinkie fingers. It was kind of sweet… their expressions were not. "Quinn, we have to talk to you" they said setting down their trays.<p>

She just turned to me and asked "Is butter a carb?" I just nodded at her with a smile "Yes" Santana folded her arms and said "Quinn, you're wearing sweatpants. It's Monday." They sat down looking a little smugly at her. "So?" Quinn didn't seem to care.

"So that's against the rules and you can't sit with us" said Brittany, Santana smiled at her. Quinn rolled her eyes and said "Whatever. Those rules aren't real" Brittany suddenly looked madder than I'd ever seen her "They were real that day I wore a vest"

"Because that vest was disgusting" said Quinn. She had no right to talk about disgusting when she four pimples and was talking with her mouth open. She might as well go sit with the Neanderthals.

"You can't sit with us!" shouted Santana angrily. She was obviously done taking orders and fed up with Quinn's attitude toward Brittany.

We all mentally agreed that we shouldn't look at Quinn as she said "These sweatpants are all that fits me right now" I felt her look at me and took a sip of my drink so I couldn't mess this up. We were so close to the plan being completed… "Fine, you can walk home, bitches" said Quinn getting up, as she turned to go she bumped into Lauren Zizes which knocked her tray everywhere.

Quinn was about to bitch her out when Lauren said "Watch where you're going, Lucy big Caboosey!" Quinn's mouth dropped open and everyone who heard it laughed.

_**/And now the army of Skanks could be crossed off the board too/**_

**~~~Home time~~~**

**/It was the end of the day and Santana and Brittany followed me around all afternoon/**

"So, what are we doing this weekend?" I heard Santana ask "Yeah, what are we doing?" Brittany's optimism made me smile. She could be so adorable at times "Oh, I have to go to Madison with my parents"

"What…?" they looked confused "We have tickets for this thing" still the joint confused looks "What?" "What?" it made me think of that time in November when the cheerio's had temporarily been disbanded and the girls had wandered the halls looking lost and occasionally breaking down crying… one girl even begged jewfro to love her…

_**/Did this mean… that I was the new queen bee now? /  
><strong>_

"I can try and get out of it" I said with a raised brow. They smiled and said in perfect synchronicity "Yeah"

**~~~At home around the dinner table~~~  
><strong>Dinner time was the only time I ever really got to see my parents anymore. And that was only because of the enforced Friday night dinner rule my mom had made before she died and my dad was adamant on keeping it as a way to remember her. 

I'd just told them about my new weekend plans, dad didn't seem too happy. He'd asked me why I wanted to stay home "Because I told my friend Tina I'd go to her art show"

"We've had these tickets for months. You love the auto shows when we go to them Kurt, it's like the only thing we really bond over anymore…" I felt really bad, my dad had a point. We never spent time together anymore… but I did sort of ruin three people lives so I had to make up for it in some way right? And I really hoped I never had to lie to my dad again. I hated it.

"But she's my friend, and I made her a promise…" luckily Carole came to my rescue "I think Kurt's old enough to spend one night on his own…" my dad reluctantly agreed. I sent a grateful is small smile to Carole.

**~~~Next day in Math Class~~~**

_**/I had learned how to control everyone around me/**_

I tapped Sam on the shoulder to get his attention, when he turned to face me I smiled at him and he smiled back "Hey. I'm having a small get-together at my house tomorrow night…"

His smiled dropped "Is Quinn going?" of course not. Why would I invite her? "No. Do you think I'm an idiot? No, it's just gonna be a few cool people, and you better be one of them"

He gave me a weird look but said "Fine, I'll go" I smiled widely at him and he gave a tentative one back. "I love that shirt on you. Makes your eyes pop" I said to him as I looked at the way the fabric from his purple checked shirt practically danced over his skin as he turned back to the front. I gave a happy sigh and had a small smiled on my face for the rest of the day…

**~~~Saturday~~~**

__I watched as my dad and Carole drove off and waved happily to them. A few seconds after that Santana and Brittany pulled up. We grinned to each other and headed inside to get ready.  
><em><br>__**/Sam Evans was going to be in my house at my party.**__**Everything had to be perfect. And this time when Sam saw me, I wouldn't be caught in some ridiculous costume/**_

"Hey, guys" I walked up the stairs from my room in the basement and saw them fixing their make up in the hall way mirror. They turned to me and gasped "You look awesome!" they really must practice that synchronicity thing; it was starting to weird me out a little.

But I had to agree with them, I did look fabulous. I was wearing a little guy liner, and had my hair styled up in a sexy bed head kind of way. I had on a tight white tight shirt that showed off my lithe figure and slight muscle, the words; 'LIKES BOYS' emblazoned over the chest. A red and black flannel shirt that was unbuttoned over the top, knee high Doc Martin lace up boots and the tightest pear of leather pants you could imagine. I'd come a long way from my aversion to PVC Santa shorts. 

"I know, right?" I giggled a little. Good lord I giggled. Too much time I girl world… "OK, so I got enough cheese and crackers for eight people. Do you think that's enough?"

They gave twin looks of false agreement "Yeah" "Yeah. Oh, yeah" something was up but I didn't have too much time to contemplate it as the bell rang "OK" I smiled at them and went to the door.

_**/It was not enough. Somehow, the word had gotten out about my small get-together/  
><strong>_

Everywhere I looked there was a person I didn't know. My house was jam packed. And I still hadn't found Sam yet. I spotted Santana and Brittany and walked over to them. As I did I heard snippets of their conversation 

"Why are you here with Thad?" asked Britt in a confused voice. It was a valid question, without Quinn around they were free to date who they wanted and from what I could tell Santana seemed really into Brittany.

"Because I'm quite ready to move to a lesbian colony or cut my hair like Ellen yet" Brittany looked a little sad at that news, and I felt a little disappointed myself. I thought they were cute together, I may only like boys as my shirt said but Santitany; Santana's couple term not mine. Or Brittana as the school called them seemed to be made for each other…

Hoping to disperse the tension that was growing between them and to protect their 'secret' from prying ears I asked "Have you guys seen Sam yet?" they gave me twin, I'm sorry looks and said "No"

I smiled weakly at them and then heard someone say "Dude, put on "Pink Houses"" as I went to open the door "Do I know you?" I asked the people in front of me "Deek! What up, dog?" apparently it didn't matter as they walked in anyway…

**-Quinn's POV-**  
>I pulled up outside Kurt's house and couldn't help but be enraged by what I saw. I had hoped it was only a rumour that that little bastard had been planning a party. Looking at his house and hearing the music blasting from inside I's heard right.<p>

I turned to Puck and said "She thinks she's gonna have a party and not invite me? Who does she think she is?" he looked at me in a bored way and said "You're right" why was he bored? No one gets bored of me I get bored with them! "I, like, invented her, you know what I mean?" I got out of the car

**-Kurt's POV-  
><strong>

I saw Brittany walking away from Santana as fast as she could without making a scene "Britt. I have to talk to you!" Santana said, giving 'chase' "Whatever" she wasn't having any of it "I love you!" wow an outright admission. "I know, I know. Just not as much as I love you or you'd have worn you 'Lebanese' top and danced with me" she said as she ran up the stairs.

I wanted to follow to make sure they were ok but I saw someone playing with one of Carole's vases in the kitchen. "Hey! Put that down!" I said running to intercept the throw.

_**/Was Sam blowing me off? The party had been in full swing for two hours now and I'd still seen no sign of him. I thought I'd caught a glimpse of him one or twice but it might have just been my mind or the alcohol I'd consumed from someone from Carmel High named April Rhodes…/**_

After hiding the case in a cupboard under the sink I turned to go check on Brittany when Artie rolled up to me "What's up? Santana came to talk to me…" 

_**/Oh, no/  
><strong>_

"Look, I don't wanna hurt your feelings, but I'm no gay. I am flattered though" I looked at him for a moment and said the first thing I could think of to get out of this awkward moment we were sharing. "I have to pee" not any less awkward at all…

I walked up the stairs to the bathroom and saw Santana and Brittany kissing. When they saw me they jumped apart and Santana messed with her hair for something else to do. I just back out of the room slowly…

I'd just use my bathroom in the basement. As I walked down the hall I heard a noise in my parent's room and popped my head around the door to say "Get out. Parent's room, I will cut you" that got them moving swiftly enough, thankfully they'd been fully dressed but I made a mental note to clean in there after everyone had left just in case… because I did not want to have 'that' conversation with my parents, ever.

I went down to my room and slipped into the bathroom. I checked my hair when I'd concluded my business and stepped out to see Sam looking at some of the pictures on my bedside table. I took a small breath and said "Hey"

He turned to me and grinned widely "Hey. I've been looking for you everywhere." I smiled back and said "Me too" he moved his eyes down my body and I suddenly wished I'd worn looser pants… I swallowed nervously like I was a contestant on 'Project Runway' or something and was about to be voted off…

"You look…" he stopped for a second and licked his lips before swallowing and saying "New clothes?" as his dragged his eyes up to meet mine. I let out a small breath I hadn't realised I'd been holding and said lightly "Thanks" I walked over to him and took in his outfit. He looked good. Not rocky horror hot pants good but few things were ever that good.

He had on this pale blue long sleeved zip up hoodie over a grey t-shirt with an intricate graphic design on the front of it. A pair of snuggly fitting blue jeans, and purple converse and this black hat that made me think a little of Jason Mraz, that had a purple ribbon around it. I noticed that he's also cut his hair and dyed it back to its original colour and I had to wonder why he'd ever dyed it in the first place. He looked positively edible like this. There was slight stubble on his face made him look a little older and all I wanted to do was kiss him. He was perfect.

I dimly heard him ask "You wanna go downstairs?" I looked up at his eyes after some effort and said "No, no. Let's stay here" and pulled him to sit next to me on the bed. He was on my bed. My heart sped up and I felt like I couldn't breathe…

"Thanks for getting me to come out tonight" he said smiling at me and I took a little pleasure in the fact that his eyes kept flitting down to look at my lips. That was sign that a boy wanted to kiss you right? "Yeah, sure, no problem" I smiled at him and shifted slightly closer.

I saw his smile get slightly bigger as he shifted towards me too "I wasted too much time being pissed off at Quinn. No more liars" I looked into his eyes spellbound "I would never lie to you" he moved a little closer and said "I know, I know" he smiled at me softly.

My brain decided that I needed to be completely honest since it was a quality he found important and made me say "Although…" I giggled a little "OK, listen. I mean, I did lie to you once, but you're totally gonna laugh when I tell you, so…" he licked his lips for a moment and laughed lightly "Tell me what?" he looked so happy right now. Good job brain.

I took a small breath and said "I pretended to be bad at math so that you'd help me. But the thing is; I'm not really bad at math. I'm actually really good at math. You're kind of bad at math." He gave me an odd look at that so I rushed to say… "Anyways, now I'm failing. Isn't that funny?" I gave him a small one shouldered shrug, leaned forward a little and closed my eyes.

"Wait. You're failing on purpose? That's stupid." He said with a little laughter and bewilderment in his voice. I hate you brain, you couldn't have told him after we'd kissed? "No. Not on purpose. Just, you know… I just wanted a reason to talk to you…" he looked confused now "So why didn't you just talk to me?"

"Well, because I couldn't. Because of Quinn, because you were her… Property" he gave me an incredulous look and moved a little further away from me "Her property?"

"No. Shut up. Not her property. That was the wrong word…" he shook his head and leaned back a little "No, don't tell me to shut up" I could feel my eyes getting wet, why was he so mad at me? "I wasn't…" I said in a small voice…

"God, you know what? You are just like a clone of Quinn Fabray" he said as he went to move away. I moved to grab the front of his shirt to try and hold him back long enough for me to explain…

_**/Oh no… It was coming up again. Word vomit… No, wait a minute.../**_

"Oh, no, no, listen to me. You're not listening to me…" my stomach felt kind of weird… like a gurgling or churning motion was happening…

I heard steps on the stairs and then Quinn's voice say "What is this?" shrilly filled with outrage.

_**/…Actual vomit/**_

I threw up on Sam's shirt. I threw up on Sam's shirt. He got up and practically ran from me out the room. I couldn't really blame him. I breezed past Quinn and followed him up the stairs and out the front door. 

"Sam! Sam, wait! Just…" he kept walking until he got to the door of his truck and jumped in. it could use a tune up… "OK. Call me…" I watched him drive away and as he left my line of vision a new car pulled up, Jesse's SUV. "Oh, God"

"You dirty little liar" said Tina poking her head through the sun roof. She looked royally pissed off. Again I couldn't really blame her… "I'm sorry. I can explain"

"Explain how you forgot to invite us to your party?" she looked at me incredulously. That was happening a lot lately… "Tina, I cannot stop this car. I have a curfew" I heard Jesse say from the driver's side of the car. He did however slow his driving down to snail crawl so I could walk along beside them while Tina bitched me out.

I could still salvage this "You know I couldn't invite you. I had to pretend to be Plastic!" Tina gave a harsh bark of laughter at that and said "Hey, buddy, you're not pretending anymore. You're Plastic, cold, shiny, hard Plastic!"

"My curfew is one a.m. It is now one fifteen" said Jesse in a hurried tone, she made a motion with her hand to him "Did you have an awesome time? Did you drink awesome shooters and listen to awesome music, and then just sit around and soak up each other's awesomeness?" she punctuated each question with a new look of condescension and some obscure gesticulation with her hands…

She wasn't the only one mad any more. "You're the one who made me like this! So you could use me for your eighth-grade revenge!" I yelled back at her and she just scoffed at me.

"God! See, at least me and Quinn Fabray know we're mean. You try to act like you're so innocent. Like, "Oh, I used to live in Africa "with all the little birdies and the little monkeys"" her voice had ridden higher in pitch to a poor impression of my own and I felt myself boiling with rage. "You know what? It's not my fault you're obsessed with me or something!"

Her exclamation of "What?" was punctuated by Jesse slamming on the brakes so hard they screeched. The sudden movement jostled Finn into consciousness from the back seat. After realising what had happened he said "Oh, no he did not!" and wound his window down to scowl at me.

"See? That is the thing with you Plastics. You think that everybody is in love with you, when actually, everybody hates you. Like Sam Evans; for example" don't bring up Sam, not tonight…

"He broke up with Quinn and guess what? He still doesn't want you. So why are you still messing with Quinn, Kurt? I'll tell you why. Because you are an ass hat! You're a bitch! Here. You can have this. It won a prize!" she threw a piece of rolled up canvas at me before slipping back through the sunroof. Jesse started up the engine and I watched them drive off.

I looked down at the canvas in my hand and unrolled it. The second I did I felt my eyes sting with tears. There was an image of myself, Tina, Jesse and Finn staring up at me smiling with this amazing tribal design flowing through it. I'd royally screwed this up. I had real friends and I'd screwed it up.

I was about to turn around and go back towards my house when I heard Jesse yell "And I want my pink shirt back! I want my pink shirt back!"

**-Quinn's POV-**  
>"Babe, slow down…" said Puck as we walked back to the car. Well he walked I was power walking to try and qualm my rage. It wasn't working.<p>

"It's like I can't trust anyone anymore!" I reached into my purse and grabbed for a Kälteen bar. I ripped off the rapped and took a huge bite of it.

Puck gave me a weird look "Why are you eating a Kälteen bar?" seriously? Is he that stupid? "I'm starving" I said in an obvious yet angry tone of voice. "Man, I hate those things. Coach Bieste makes us eat those when we wanna move up a weight class, and like no offense babe, but I totally don't dig fat chicks. Cept Zizes, She kinda rocked my world once"

I stopped my ministrations and turned to him "What?" I bit out. "They make you gain weight like crazy… totally worse than steroids, 'cept they don't damage your junk"

I was going to kill him! Kurt Hummel was a dead man! "Mother f-" I spat out the Kälteen bar and screamed as loudly as I could! I was vaguely aware of Puck walking away with a scared look on his face.

I got in my car and drove home, ran up to my room and screamed again. I glared at photos pinned to my mini bulletin boards and found the one I was looking for, one of me and Kurt together.

I walked to my shelves and grabbed the burn book. I reached over to my desk and grabbed some scissors, a marker pen and glue and sat on the floor. I opened the book to a new page and started writing furiously into it 'This girl is the nastiest skank bitch I've ever met. Do not trust her. She is a fugly slut! Do not trust her!' underline, underline, underline!

I cut the photo in half and smeared glue over the back of it before sticking it in under the writing. Then I leaned back and smiled. This was going to destroy him. He would be nothing now and might even get expelled for this. I looked down at the page and saw my own picture looking back up at me smiling. Tomorrow, Kurt Hummel's life was officially over. 

Tomorrow, Kurt Hummel's life was officially over.


	9. Chapter 9

AN: Thank you all for your support, follows and kind words. I know this chapter is slightly shorter than the previous ones but the next one will be up quicker than normal to make up for it I promise.

Special thanks to:  
>Kit for pointing out a major mistake I made when last updating *smiles*<br>Somethingoftheunknown for the lovely review, I hope I can continue to make you smiled with this  
>Mewisbetterthanyou for the sweet review. And yes Jesse is far too gay to function and that's exactly why we love him *giggling*<p>

And to Alex for your very sweet and supportive review. I appreciated it a lot hun *hugs*

So without further ado, on with Chapter 9!

**Chapter 9**  
><strong>~~~Monday morning, Principles Office~~~<br>-Quinn's POV-**  
>First thing Monday morning I went to Principle Sylvester's office. Time to destroy that little… Pest of mine… I turned on the water works and knocked on the door. After she told me I had better make it quick since I was going to be late to class and she had a phoner to do, that was a phone interview, I handed her the book and sat down opposite her.<p>

"I found it in the girls' bathroom. It's so mean, Principle Sue" she started to flip through it and her face was in a sort of stunned admiration and rage. She turned the page and stopped short.

"Is this true? Mike Chang made out with that greasy haired excuse of a singing Coach, William Schuester?" I nodded my head and did a little gesture with my hands. "Good Lord" she turned the next page and asked "What's that say? 'Lauren Zizes is a…'?" I responded easily with "Fat whore" perhaps a little too quickly though… better let out another loud sob…

"OK, calm down stretch marks" I resisted the urge to throw something or say something. My anger would not bode well right now. I'll just take my rage out on daddy's credit card later. For now, you play the victim in all this. I mean, I am a victim after all, just not in the way the book says… and it was all Kurt Hummel's fault.

"Why would someone write that? That's just so mean" she took her glasses off and looked at me for a moment before saying "Relax; I'm going to find out who did it"

I looked up at her through my hands and said "There's only three people in the whole school who aren't in it" she rose a brow at me and I smiled at her, trying to look helpful.

Phase One, completed. And as soon as I was out of this room Phase Two could begin.

I planned to plaster the school with print outs copied from the 'Burn Book'. There would be no flat surface left without a flier. A stack of papers would be shoved under every classroom door, and then the rest of them could just be scattered into the air for people to find as they left the classrooms…

**~~~Choir Room~~~  
>-Kurt's POV-<strong>

I really, really, really hated health class. It wouldn't be nearly as bad if it wasn't Mr Schuester teaching it. I swear sometimes he's creepier than Mr Ryerson. And that's really saying something considering I saw him feel up the male lead in the school play once… Schuester on the other hand just gave off these weird vibes, like he cared about us… but just way too much. Heck if someone transferred he's probably hunt them down to go shopping for more hideous vests with him… I heard a rumour that he drunk dialled Miss Pillsbury once and that was one of the reasons her marriage ended… but it's just a rumour.

"At your age, you're gonna be having a lot of urges. You're gonna want to take off your clothes and touch each other" oh great spaghetti monster of the moon, take a break from writing the romance novels with the dwarf and just kill me now. "But if you do touch each other, you will get chlamydia. And die"

"Coach Will" the lesson was thankfully interrupted by Becky Jackson. She walked over to Mr Schuester and handed him a slip of paper. He smiled at her, she turned and left.

He opened the piece of paper up and then looked over at me "Kurt Hummel, they wanna see you in the principal's office" I sent him a confused look but gathered my things and left as my class mates all went- oooh. They were so childish. As I walked from the room I heard him pick up where he'd left off… "All right, chlamydia. K-L-A…" I resisted the urge to slam my palm into my face at his stupidity, but just barely.

As I walked to office I wondered what I could have possibly done wrong. I mean, I know my life outside of school was a god-awful mess right now in school I was golden. Well, except the whole flunking math thing…

As I reached the office door I saw Principle Sue looking at me with an icy yet mildly impressed stare "In here, Tickle-me-dough-face" I didn't get to ask about my new moniker for as I reached the door Quinn walked out. She gave me an extremely smug, evil look.

I followed Miss Sylvester into her office and spied Santana and Brittany already sitting there. "What's going on?" I asked as I moved to the other chair.

"Have a seat, Lady Face. Have you ever seen this before?" she held up an all too familiar pink book. "No. I mean, yes, I've seen it before, but it's not mine" oh god, what had Quinn done?

"You better get your story straight, Porcelain, because I'm not messing around here" I could feel my throat closing up. I think I'm going to be sick again… "It's not ours, it's Quinn's" came Santana's haughty, if nervous reply from my right. "Yeah, she's trying to make it look like we wrote it, but really, she wrote it…"

Miss Sylvester put on her glasses and asked "Sandbags, why would Quinn refer to herself as a 'fugly slut'?" Brittany giggled next to her at the word fugly. "Miss Pierce, this is no time to be laughing. We're gonna get to the bottom of this right now!" Brittany hung her head and bit her lip. I had to stop myself from reaching out to her, afraid that any move I made would make me look guilty. 

"Maybe we're not in that book, because everybody likes us" said Santana. She'd been giving the whole 'Latina angry head bob' thing. "And I don't wanna be punished for being well-liked." Normally I loved watching her go all 'ghetto' but right now, I wished the attitude would disappear…

"And I don't think my father, the best doctor in the state, would be too pleased to hear about this" no such look apparently as it sounded like she just threatened Sue Sylvester's Health care… I knew I should have gone to Dalton Academy…

**~~~Meanwhile in the hall way~~~**

**-Quinn's POV-**

As soon as the bell rang I took my place at the top of the stairwell to watch the chaos unfold. I was far enough out of the way that the fighting that was sure to follow this new development would not affect me, but still close enough to hear people's reactions to it. I saw Suzie Peppers pick a flier from the cover of the fire hose… "'Made out with a chilli pepper'? Oh, my God, that was one time!" 

I saw a girl with long curly hair pick one from a locker and I vaguely heard her say "'Shoshandra Rabara has a huge ass'? Who would write that?" she looked angry and distressed. Her 'friend' nest to her said "Who wouldn't write that?" Giselle Clark I think her name was… well whoever she was she just got body slammed into the locker by Shoshandra.

Thad and his little band of cronies weren't too far from the stair well so I could hear them very clearly when they said "'Mike Chang made out with Coach Will'?" Just as he come down the stairs behind them and to the side of me with his tall friend, he looked shocked for a moment "And so did Matt Rutherford!" and then he looked pissed. He turned to Matt and started shoving him. They then started fighting "You little slut!" "You're the slut" and Mike was now swearing at Matt in Chinese "That's actually kind of hot…"

I saw Miss Pillsbury come into the hallway; she looked terrified but was trying to keep a brave face "Hey! Hey! Settle down! All right, hey!" she kept getting knocked into be fighting teens and she was holding her arms up close to her body like she was going to catch a load of germs if they touched her again. She was so weird.

"No. You do not push and sho…" she was knocked over. My sight on her wasn't as good anymore but I think I made her out in the crowd… she was looking at a flier with devastated eyes.

**~~~Principles office~~~  
>-Sue's POV-<strong>

I looked over the group of pathetic simpletons and asked "Do you have anything else you wanna say?" Boobs McGee chimed in with "No, I can't answer any more questions until I have a parent or lawyer present" she sat back in her chair and crossed her arms over her ridiculously enhanced chest.

I turned my attention to Tweedle Dum "Miss Pierce?" she looked unsure for a moment and a little apologetic "Whoever wrote it probably didn't think anyone would ever see it?"

I rolled my eyes at her innocence before telling her "I hope that nobody else ever does see it… do you even know what I'm going to have to do to get some of these images I have in my mind out? I'm gunna have to go to the wound care centre. And stare at some wounds…"

**~~~Hallway~~~  
>-Quinn's POV-<strong>

I took on my signature HBIC pose; hand on hip, legs together, head held high, sneer at anyone who dares to enter your personal bubble. Everyone around me was either; crying, throwing things, running away from other people or fighting. I felt a wonderful surge of accomplishment at this. Who knew how much impact a few little words would have?

I saw Jewfro run past me and stop at the foot of the stairs. He looked terrified and was holding his cell phone to his ear "Mom, can you pick me up? I'm scared. This is way worse than the Brittany Spears riot. I think people might actually be dead…" he moved on and my attention was captured by my favourite punching bag…

I saw her and her ridiculously sparkly posse by the lockers closest to the stairway so I could easily hear them speaking over the din around me. Finn the cute-ish, extremely tall one picked up one of the papers and said "'Tina Cohen-dyke'?" Tina just rolled her eyes at it "That's original" I was slightly disappointed that she wasn't more upset.

Then Jesse, the one who Brittany once said 'looks like he's Mr Schue's son' exclaimed "'We're both too gay to function'?" as he read from Finn's side. Tina took the paper outraged. "Hey! That's only OK when I say it" And stormed forward in search of someone…

The noise of the fighting was getting louder around me now to the point where it was getting hard to recognise who was saying what to whom… I could only make a few of them out now… I saw Shoshandra getting in the grill of some freshman boy "Did you write this?" jabbing him in the chest with her finger "No, I swear!"

A tall girl from the basketball team was yelling at some girl from the debate team with "Then you told somebody!" the debate girl pointed at someone else "She told!"

Some of the Cheerio's where taking their earrings out and their necklaces off yelling at each other "You little bitch!" the one she'd yelled at practically flew at her "You're a bitch!" they started to fight on the floor, pulling each other's hair and trying to literally claw each other's eyes out. Thad and his idiot friends seemed to appear out of nowhere for this "Yeah! Take your top off!" I rolled my eyes at them. Some boys were such pigs.

I saw Becky Jackson poke her head out from the office door and then scamper back inside when someone rushed past her. Good, now the really interesting part would happen…

**~~~Sue's Office~~~**

**-Sue's POV-**

I took out my dental equipment and turned to the three suspects in front of me. They looked terrified. It was outstanding. "Now, here's what we're gonna do… I'm not gunna pull out your teeth since I'd get sent to prison but I am going to give you what anybody who's ever been to the dentist will know as excruciating pain… I'm going to give you an intense cleaning" Tweedle Double Dee piped up with a slightly alarmed but still calm "What? No it's not. Who's your dentist?" I smirked at her "One Sue Sylvester"

Before I could act on it though my faithful assistant Becky came running in "Principle Sue, come quick! They've gone wild. They've all gone wild" I looked past her scared face and through the glass panelling of the reception walls. It was full-tilt jungle madness. I put down my sterilised tools and reached behind my desk for my trusty aluminium baseball bat. This wasn't going to be pretty.__

As I stepped into the hall way I saw Schuester holding onto Shaft and one of the Asian kids of the school. I recognised them as the ones from that 'Burn Book'. He looked up at me and smiled "Hey, I pulled these two off each other" he looked so smug. He wouldn't in a second.

"William. Step away from the underage boys" the resentment and fear in his eyes, was delicious. He immediately dropped his hold of them and ran as fast as he could down the corridor and out of my sight. If he had any brains left under all that grease he called hair gel he'd be booking a flight out of the country right now, hopefully he' remember to pack some diapers for his butt chin. No need to make the other passengers any more discomforted with his presence than I'm sure they already would be.

I moved to drag one of the students, who'd inexplicably been suspended by his hood fro, one of the locked and he tried to kick me. This is exactly why I'm never nice to people. First the toast throwing incident of my childhood and now this… "I did not leave Hunting Nazi's for this!" I shouted as I japed the baseball bat into the fire alarm.

Almost immediately the sprinklers went off and everyone ceased their ridiculous behaviour and started to yell incredibly pathetic and unimportant things like "Oh, crap! My hair!" or "This was a new dress!" my god I was surrounded by morons.

"All class's, report to the gymnasium immediately! Before I call a fumigator in here and make it the only room with breathable air! What part of immediately did you not understand people? MOVE!"


	10. Chapter 10

AN: Told you the next chapter would be up faster *grins*

**Chapter 10  
><strong>**~~~Gymnasium~~~  
>-Kurt's POV-<br>**

As I walked into the gym I felt people looking at me. when I'd look up to meet them their eyes were filled with anger. Whenever I walked close to someone they'd clam up and stop talking which could only really mean one thing… and it wasn't my plastic head talking for me when I said they were talking about me…

_/Have you ever walked up to people and realized they were just talking about you? Have you ever had it happen thirty times in a row? I have…/_

I walked up the bleachers to seat near Britt and Santana since I figured the three of us would be in this boat together at least… the others on the row moved away from me however. I looked away for a moment and spotted Finn, Jesse and Tina and gave them a small little wave. Jesse responded by lifting his sunglasses to glare at me and Tina gave me the finger in a subtle way… Finn smiled at me for a moment before he got a look on his face like in that movie he made me watch; 'Despicable Me', the look made me think of Gru's light bulb look… he then scowled at me. resigned to my fate to sit, alone technically, I turned to face the front just in time to see Principle Sue stride in. 

She stood tall and intimidating. Arms behind her back, feet apart the look of pure control and a look of thinly veiled condemnation on her face. When she spoke her voice was low, angry and powerful. "Never in my twenty years as an educator have I seen such behaviour" she shook her head slowly "I've had parents calling me on the phone asking, 'Did someone get shot?' I ought to cancel your Spring Fling!"

Everyone around me started to shout out "No! No!" I felt awful, all of this was my fault. I should never have agreed to my spy mission…

Her look shifted for a moment to something akin to annoyance mixed with light hearted ness "Now, I'm not gonna do that, because we've already paid the DJ and this school is ridiculously underfunded, cept for my Cheerio's" she looked proud at that. you could hardly blame her. The Cheerio's were about the best thing this school had to offer…

"But just because it's not cancelled doesn't mean that I'm not taking this book seriously! I am positively lactating with Rage!" she looked u all over for a moment "Will Schuester has fled school property. Miss Pillsbury has been accused of selling drugs" I felt especially bad about that one…

"Now, what you young people need is an attitude makeover. And you're gonna get it right now. I don't care how long it takes; I will keep you here all night if I have to" she seemed to be glaring at each of us individually and yet all at once at the same time…

Becky moved forward and said "We can't keep them past four Principle Sue" Sue turned to her and gave her a much less harsh glare before turning back to address us again "I will keep you here until four"

"Now, what we're gonna try to do is fix the way you relate to each other. OK? Lady to lady. So who has a lady problem that they'd like to talk about?" could she be more patronising right now? I saw Britt go to raise her hand but Santana stopped her without ever taking her eyes from the front of the room. A girl in the front row put her hand up instead. Miss Sylvester called on her with a condescending smile "Yes?"

"Somebody wrote in that book that I'm lying about being a virgin because I use super-jumbo tampons. But I can't help it if I've got a heavy flow and a wide-set vagina" and if I wasn't already gay, that would have turned me.

Principle Sue had a disgusted look on her face before she shook her head and said "Yeah, I can't do this. I found that creepy and disgusting…" she turned to her staff behind her and said "Miss Pillsbury. You're a successful, intelligent, caring, graceful woman"

She didn't look so sure "I am?" Sue hesitated for a moment with a smiled on her face before it dropped completely and she said "No, but you do have a psychology degree which I suppose is close enough. There has to be something you can say to these young idiots. Something to help them with their self-esteem?"

She looked pretty mad and a little hurt when she said "It's not a self-esteem problem. I think they're all pretty pleased with themselves. Although what might help them is if you stopped calling them idiots… or things like Lady Face and Sandbags…" she looked hopeful for a moment. "OK. Yeah that's not gunna happen" and then accepting like she'd expected nothing less from Miss Sylvester in the first place.

Sighing reluctantly she stepped forward "OK… Everybody close your eyes I want you to raise your hand if you have ever had a girl say something bad about you behind your back" I did as she told me and then raised my hand.

"Open your eyes" pretty much everyone around me had their hand in the air. "Now, close your eyes again. And this time, I want you to raise your hand if you have ever said anything about a friend behind her back" again I followed her orders and, a little more reluctantly this time, raided my hand "Open them" again, everyone's hand was up and we all sort of let out this little murmur of laughter together when we realised it.

Miss Pillsbury gave us all a weary, wry smile and said "There's been some friend-on-friend crime here. OK. So, what we could do today is a couple exercises to help you express your anger in a healthy way. Let's start over here…" and then she walked over to the beginning of the bleachers…

_/Miss Pillsbury had us confront each other directly about the things that were bothering us. And it seemed like every clique had its own problems. Even the jock's…/ _

The guys on the Wrestling Team and Lauren Zizes, the only female wrestler at McKinley, were up first. I guy with shoulder length hair was being spoken too by a guy with a closely shaved head "You've been acting really stuck-up ever since you went up a weight class. And Lauren agrees with me" they both turned to look at her for confirmation "Lauren?" she sighed and rolled her eyes looking bored "Don't drag me into this, I've got a match tomorrow"

Next I saw Mike Chang turn to Matt Rutherford and say "Why are you scamming on my boyfriend?" Matt just gave him a superior look and said "You're just jealous because guys like me better" Mike made a bitch please face and gave him the finger "Oh please"

Miss Pillsbury looked suitably frightened "OK. Good… let's move on" couldn't say I blamed her. they were talking about sleeping with Mr Schuester after all… Oh god that was a disgusting thought…

Before she could pick the next clique Quinn stood up and said "Can I just say that we don't have a clique problem at this school? And some of us shouldn't have to take this workshop, because some of us are just victims in this situation" and started to walk out of her row to leave.

Before Quinn could get to the end she rushed in with "That's probably true. How many of you have ever felt personally victimized by Quinn Fabray?" my hand shot up immediately as did the rest of the rooms. I even saw most of the staff raise their hands… Quinn rolled her lisp into her mouth for a moment and sat back down again.

"Good. OK, who's next?" she looked all around for a moment before her eyes settled on me. Oh god no… "Who's next? Kurt. Do you have anything you wanna own up to?" she had such hopeful eyes. I really hated her Bambi eyes in times like this…

_/Yes/_

__I had a lot of things I should own up for but instead I said "No"her hopeful look faded to slight disappointment "You never made up a rumour about anybody?"

_/Just that you sell drugs…/_

"No" I looked down in fear that her eyes would make me do something I would seriously regret… "Nothing you want to apologize for?" she sounded so disappointed in me…

_/I couldn't apologize to Miss Pillsbury without getting blamed for the whole burn book…/_

"No" I stared down at my shoes, black leather lace up boots from the new Marc Jacobs collection, mournfully. 

"I'm really disappointed in you, Kurt…" I was disappointed in me too. "OK, so we're all here because of this book, right?" she picked it up and started to skim through it…

"Well, I don't know who wrote this book, but you all have got to stop calling each other sluts and whores. Who here has ever been called a slut?" most hands flew into the air again and was it my imagination or did Brittany look proud about this fact right now? Miss Pillsbury sighed and said "OK, everybody up"

_/Miss Pillsbury had us write out apologies to people that we'd hurt in our lives/_

Half of the people went in front of the small stage ready to catch the people they forgave and the others would go in line to read out their apologies…

The first person up was that girl Miss Pillsbury had mistaken for me on my first day here. Mercedes Jones. "'Suzie, I'm sorry I called you a gap-toothed bitch'. It's not your fault you're so gap-toothed" and then she turned around and fell backwards into the crowd. Everyone caught he and set her down properly.

Britt was the next person in line "Santana, I'm sorry I laughed at you that time you got diarrhoea at Barnes and Noble" Santana brought a hand up to her face to try and hide her embarrassment. "And I'm sorry I told everyone about it. And I'm sorry for repeating it now" Britt then smiled at everyone and turned around. They all caught her and smiled at her in return.

"Azimio, I don't hate you because you're fat. You're fat because I hate you" said some guy in a McKinley Letter Jacket…

Then this short girl wearing the most offensive outfit I'd ever seen walked onto the stage. She was wearing a plaid mustard yellow skirt with a seaweed green sweater with an owl on it, knee high socks and incredibly clunky shoes. My eyes were officially on fire.

She looked down at her page and read aloud "I just wish we could all get along like we used to in middle school. I wish that I could bake a cake made out of rainbows and smiles, and some vegan non-dairy Kosher 'I'm sorry' cookies and we'd all eat it and be happy…" her eyes were wet and she lifted a tissue to dab at them.

Everyone seemed kind of moved by her speech for a moment before I heard Jesse yell out "She doesn't even go here!"

Miss Pillsbury turned to the strange girl and asked "Do you even go to this school?" the girl shook her hair, her long black hair swayed from side to side under her head band.

"No. I just have a lot of feelings. My name is Rachel Berry. I go to Carmel High; I'm the lead vocalist for Vocal Adrenaline, the show choir there. And my status as the leader of the group has nothing to do with my birth mother being the coach" she took a breath and then continued with "And Vocal Adrenaline isn't exactly a 'feelings friendly environment'" she actually used air quotes…

We all just looked at her like she was insane… I wasn't completely sure she wasn't. No one sane wears an outfit lie that. She may as well be wearing a dress made out of stapled together beany babies. "OK, go home man hands" said Principle Sue with a shake of her head and a thumb towards the door. The girl hung her head and walked off stage.

I saw Mr Howell walk over to Miss Pillsbury and smile at her "Emma, I think you're doing a great job" she smiled back and nodded her head as she said "Thanks Carl. I feel like I'm getting through…"

Then Santana took the stage and said "I'm sorry that people are so jealous of me. But I can't help it that I'm popular and smoking hot" when she turned around everyone moved away from the stage except for Brittany. She put her arms up to catch Santana but the force and power of the fall added to Santana's weight made them both fall to the floor with a loud bang! I winced in sympathy because that seriously had to have hurt…

"Oh, my God! Oh, jeez" said Carl, he was wincing too. "OK, walk it off. Walk it off" said Miss Pillsbury. Santana stood up off of Brittany and said "OK. That hurt" and then turned to help Britt up.

"They're OK. They're OK. Oh, boy. OK, who's next? Who's next? Keep it going" I was only a few people from the front of the line now so I ducked out and moved further back. I just wasn't ready yet… I saw Tina push to the front of the line and stride onto the stage holding her apology.

Quinn's voice rang out through the crowd with "Oh, my God. It's her dream come true, diving into a big pile of girls!" almost everyone laughed but Tina just smirked and put her apology away in her jacket pocket.

"OK, yeah, I've got an apology" she glared at Quinn with the smirk still on her face as she said "So I have this friend who is a new student this year. And I convinced him that it would be fun to mess up Quinn Fabray's life" I felt Quinn's eyes lock onto me and decided that I was not going to look at her…

Tina continued with "So I had him pretend to be friends with Quinn, and then he would come to my house after and we would just laugh about all the dumb stuff Quinn said" everyone else laughed at that too. "And we gave her these candy bar things that would make her gain weight" Quinn's mouth had dropped open at that and everyone else seemed to be enjoying the story like it was the first piece of Easter chocolate or the first snow fall in Winter…

"And we turned her best friends against her" I looked down at my shoes for fear of what Santana and Britt were probably going to kill me if I made eye contact with them right now. "And then… Oh, yeah, Kurt… You know my friend Kurt. He made out with Quinn's boyfriend and then convinced him to break up with her!" I could practically feel Quinn seething from half way across the room now. And I really was glad that Sam was visiting colleges today and didn't hear that.

Tina was silent for a second before saying "Oh, God, and we gave you, foot cream instead of face wash. God! I am so sorry, Quinn. Really, I don't know why I did it. I guess it's probably because I've got a big lesbian crush on you! Suck on that!" she said as she thrust her arms into the air like a rocker chick and fell backwards into the cheering crowd.

"_Tina! Tina! Tina! Tina!" _they were all chanting her name and carried her off. Leaving me and Quinn staring at each other. She then turned and stalked out of the gymnasium.

I followed after her calling her name "Quinn! Quinn, wait! I didn't mean for that to happen" she carried on walking but replied with "To find out that everyone hates me? I don't care" we were in the middle of the street now and I could see her mom parked across the road talking on the phone to someone.

"Quinn, please! Quinn, stop!" I just needed to explain to her… but explain what? It was exactly like Tina had said. Except my reason for doing this to Quinn wasn't for some eighth grade fall out. It was because the guy I liked didn't like me as much as he'd liked her.

Quinn stopped and turned back to me yelling at me "No! Do you know what everyone says about you? They say that you're a home-schooled jungle freak, who's a less-hot version of me" she was stalking towards me and I felt like a gazelle in the wild when it sees a cheetah coming for it. "Yeah. So don't try to act so innocent. You can take that fake apology and shove it right up your hairy…" she never got to finish her sentence. Because before she could a bus slammed into her.

_/And that's how Quinn Fabray died. No, I'm totally kidding. But she did get hurt. Some girls say they saw her head go all the way around. But that's just a rumour. Some people swear they saw me push her in front of the bus. That was an even worse rumour…/_


	11. Chapter 11

AN: I would like to say a big thank you my readers/followers/commenters for sticking with me and giving me encouragement for this *hugs and cookies*.

I'm sorry about the long wait for this one but I promise the next and possibly final chapter will be up by Sunday at the latest. June is always a hectic month for me, this year more so than usual and so I apologise for not getting this to you sooner.**  
><strong>  
>Without further ado let's get this show on the road!<span><strong><br>**_

**Chapter 11.  
><strong>**~~~Hummel House~~~  
>-Kurt's POV-<strong>

To say that dinner than night was awkward or tense would be the biggest understatement of the year. Well second biggest if you considered how bad tomorrow was going to be. Carole had been fairly quiet since I'd gotten home, except for the occasional snippy monosyllabic responses.

We were at the table and she just sort of snapped a little half way through it and grabbed everybody's plates up "Everybody done?" and pretty much threw them into the sink.

"No… Mom, I didn't do it" he just looked at me for a moment before reaching into a cupboard for something. "I don't know what to believe anymore" "Mom, believe me. I'm your son."

She stopped short and gave me a weird look. "Why are my tribal vases under the sink?" why are the what, where? Oh the party. The one they miraculously didn't find out about. I knew I'd forgotten something. Play it innocent. What are a few more lies at this point anyway right? "What?"

She looked at me sternly and I had to force myself to keep calm "My tribal vases. Why were they under the sink?" I shrugged indifferently and put on a confused face "I don't know…" she glared at me a little, clearly not buying the act an entire town fell for.

"This is the fertility vase of the Ndebele tribe. Does that mean anything to you?" it honestly didn't. They looked a little tacky and I hated them. I told her as much "No. they don't"

She looked at me as if she'd never seen me before and asked "Who are you?" before shaking her head in disappointment and leaving the room.

I leaned my head against my hand and looked down at the table. I let out a small humourless laugh before saying "Great. All my friends hate me, and now my mom hates me"

My dad put his hand on my arm and said "Your mom does not hate you. She's afraid of you…" I looked over at him. What did he mean afraid of me? "I'm a little disappointed with all of this Kurt; I thought you and me decided we weren't gunna keep things from each other? Lately it's like having a stranger around the house…" he took his cap off and ran his hand over his head for a moment before putting it back on and turning a small sad smiled to me "…I don't know, maybe we mainstream-schooled you too soon. Maybe you should come back and be home-schooled again for a while…"

"No. The only thing worse than going back will be not going back." It was going to be horrible but it was still my school. I couldn't go back to home school after a dose of real life. No matter how difficult it may be… though maybe if I could get him to hire me a body guard or a secret service team it wouldn't be too bad…

He looked at me, obviously sensing my distress over the situation at hand and asked "How bad's it gonna be tomorrow?" with a concerned face. Maybe he was reading my mind and thinking of the body guard idea too…

I let out a small sigh and said "Remember when we saw those lions fighting over the wart hog carcass? I'll be the wart hog" I gave a small resigned sigh and a short nod. He looked at me for a moment and smiled "You're not a wart hog, you're a lion. Remember kiddo, no one pushes the Hummel's around… Just keep your head down for a little, focus on your studies for a little while. You're still an excellent student, right?"

I winced a little at that last line. Disappointment all round then ok. U reached into my bag and pulled out my exam from Miss Pillsbury "Oh, yeah. I need you to sign my calculus test" he looked at me weird and asked "Why?" with a weary tone of voice.

I took a small yet deep breath and said "Because I'm failing." He looked down for a moment and turned disappointed eyes to me "OK. You are… What do they call it? Grounded, you're grounded" I just nodded my head and went down to my room.

Grounded, failing my studies, no friends and an incredibly awkward home life for the foreseeable future… at least I still had my fashion sense. Not that it would really matter anymore but, it was at least something. One thing the Clastics taught me was that every moment of your life was an opportunity for fashion. Though I doubt even I have an outfit that says 'I caused someone to fracture their spine and destroyed a whole school's social standing do you wanna hang out?'

**~~~School~~~**  
>The day passed by me in a bit of a blur… starting with home room where Tina, Jesse and Finn had shoved my desk right up behind the guy who farts a lot. And that wasn't just a silly moniker. He did fart a lot, and it was incredibly disgusting. Classes were filled with scornful and distasteful looks so I just kept my head down as much as humanly possible. That didn't stop the whispers though…<p>

By the time lunch rolled around I knew there wasn't any real way to escape from it all. So I got my food and turned to look for an empty table since Clastic and 'friend' tables were now off limits. Problem with that was that now everyone else hated me too so I couldn't sit with them either… 

I heard some of the people on a nearby table say "She pushed her in front of the bus" "Did you see her do it?" "Yes" so I just turned and left the cafeteria with my tray and went and ate in the bathroom like on my first day. It smelled just as horrible as I remembered and I barely escaped being given a swirly by Noah Puckerman on my way in. I get that he wanted to defend Quinn's honour and all that but did he have to do it with disgusting toilet water? Wasn't the dumpster toss this morning enough?

~~~Math Class~~~  
>I arrived to class barely in time, I hadn't wanted to bump into anyone in the halls so I'd loitered for as long as possible before running to return my tray to the cafeteria, and found Principle Sue and some policemen standing at the front of the class.<p>

As I took my seat I heard an officer say "Did your teacher ever try to sell you marijuana or Ecstasy tablets?" the general response was "No" except for that kid Brett, he always kind of smelled homeless, he said "What are marijuana tablets?" with a big grin on his face… I'm guessing he already knows…

I leaned forward and asked Sam "What's going on? Where's Miss Pillsbury?" he ignored me and said instead "Principle Sylvester, this is ridiculous. Miss Pillsbury does not sell drugs." Silent treatment, kind of deserved that. After all, I did throw up on him and make him break up with his girlfriend…

Miss Sylvester turned to him and responded with "I know, Lady Lips. But after the allegations made against Will Schuester turned out to be extremely, and downright disturbingly true, the school board felt that it was best that we investigate every claim made in this Burn Book" she looked both bored and enraged all at the same time… I started to mess with my fringe a little in the hopes of coming off innocent. Or at least more innocent than people thought I was.

"That book was written by a bunch of stupid people who make up rumours because they're bored with their own lame lives" I looked down for a moment at that, I mean, I knew Sam was right but hearing him say that still stung, a lot actually.

"Well, unless someone wants to come forward and say, "I made it all up", this is how we have to handle it." She looked like she'd rather get out a hunting knife and go at it all Nazi Hunter style like she claimed her parent's did. Which made what I was about to do even more daunting…

_/Bye, Sam. You're gonna hate me forever…/_

I took a deep breath and stood up "Principle Sue. I wrote it." Every single eye in the room turned to stare at me. I just kept my eyes on the floor and waited for what was going to happen next.

She looked incredibly disappointed. A little like I'd actually withheld information from her rather than offering some up… "Come on, Porcelain" and with that we went to her office to figure out what to do next. 

_/When you get bit by a snake,_ _you're supposed to suck_ _the poison out._ _That's what I had to do. Suck all the poison out of my life. I started with Quinn, who was living proof that the more people are scared of you, the more flowers you get…/  
><em>

I found this fact out when I went to her house to apologise and found the room covered from top to bottom with flowers and a crowd of at least 30 people around her. She looked happy in a way…

_/Then there was Miss Pillsbury, who was living proof that no good deed goes unpunished…/_

I finished up my latest test and walked to the front of the room to hand it in. I hated having to deal with her the most, damn her Bambi eyes. She looked up at me and said in an overly cheery voice "Oh, hi. Did you wanna buy some drugs?"

I shook my head 'no' and said "I'm just done with my quiz" I went to go back to my seat when she stopped me. "Wait. I'll grade it right now." I could only nod and stand there until she was finished I guess…

she looked up from grading for a moment and said "I gotta say, watching the police search my house really was the cherry on top of a fantastic year." I looked down guiltily and she asked in a slightly less harsh voice "How much trouble did you get in for telling the truth?"

I sighed a little and "A lot" she gave me a half smiled and said "Well you didn't write that whole book yourself. Did you tell Principle Sylvester who else did it?"

I shook my head again and looked at the floor as I saw Sam get up to sharpen his pencil at the bin. I was kind of avoiding him too. I turned my attention back to Miss Pillsbury and said "No, because I'm trying this new thing where I don't talk about people behind their backs…" with a small smile. Sam piped in with "That's all right. Getting hit by a bus is pretty good punishment." I spared a quick glance at him and he had a look on his face I couldn't decipher… not mad but not 'I forgive you' either.

Before I could dwell on it Miss Pillsbury gave me my test score "Ninety-four." And Sam smiled at me and said "Welcome back, nerd." In a slightly sarcastic voice, but he was at least talking to me for the first time in about two weeks so I considered it progress. I sent him a small smile and said "Thanks" as he passed me to get back to his own test.

I turned back to Miss Pillsbury again and said "Anyway… …I'm really, really sorry" and gave her my own Bambi eyes. She gave me a small smile and said "I forgive you. But as my own personal form of punishment, I figured out how you're gonna earn that extra credit…" I turned to the side as I saw Artie wheel his way to the desk and grin at me conspiritually and say "What's up?"


	12. Chapter 12

**A/N:** Here it is! The final chapter! This is the first fanfic I have ever completed so I feel pretty accomplished/proud of myself… ok that made me sound big headed *laughs nervously*. Um so here we are, I'm hoping you all like it as much as the other chapters =3  
>I'd like to thank everyone who reviewed, added to favourites, watched and just read it in general. Thank you all so much *hugs* 3<span><strong><strong>

**Chapter 12**  
><strong>~~~Hummel Household ~~~<br>-Kurt's POV-  
><strong>_On the day of the dance, which also happened to be the day of the Math-Gleeks Championship I was stood in my room getting ready. I was nervous about what lay ahead since my grades hadn't exactly been that fantastic lately due to Clastic overload. Also because of the whole wanting someone to like me for who I wasn't thing, but I was also blaming that on over exposure to Clastic's._

_I knew I should be focusing on the competition but my mind kept drifting to the dance. I thought about whether they'd be talking to anyone when they got there because of the burn book… I also thought about what people were going to wear; which was shallow I know but, I couldn't help myself. I wondered if Quinn would need her mother's help getting ready now because of her spinal injury…_

_I could picture her in her room in that pink dress she'd pre-ordered and could once again fit into thanks to a little extra surgery while she was in the hospital recovering… I imagined her mother doing her hair and trying to adjust her brace too look less inconspicuous…_

_I thought about Santana, I could envision her in her beautiful red silk dress; I'd pre-approved it of course, in her room in front of the mirror doing her makeup, making sure her hair stayed in its pulled sweep with the gentle cascade at the side for that extra Hollywood starlet look. I also thought about the fact that I'd heard she was going with Thad tonight instead of Brittany…_

_I'd been so sure that since the Clastic's were over, and if the way they'd been at my disaster of a party, she'd have plucked up the courage to ask out Brittany for real now that the Clastic's were over. I really did like them together; they were like Yin and Yang. Fitting together almost seamlessly and being the anchor for the other when things got too intense. I would keep my fingers crossed that everything turned out okay for them._

_Thinking about them together led me to thinking about Brittany. She was going to look absolutely adorable and breathtakingly beautiful in her short lime green dress with the maroon trimmings and underskirts and stripy knee high socks. We'd even found this adorable little hat on a headband that matched it perfectly. She told me that she had a 'sparkly' addition to her outfit but she'd never shown me what it was. I had a brief thought that she'd be in the mirror for about an hour putting those little stick on jewels on her skin to spell out her name but because of the mirror they'd turn out backwards or something like that. It would be such a 'Brittany' thing to do and it would look amazing._

I smiled for a moment at the image before a slight frown appeared on my face. I'd heard a rumour this week that since she didn't have a date she was going to dance with everyone else's dates instead. If it was true she was going to be exhausted by the time the dance finished tonight. I smiled again at the idea of her interrupting couples dances to wrap herself around one of them with her hands in the air proclaiming it to be the best dance ever!

_Then I thought about Tina, Jesse and Finn. I knew that they were all going together. The original plan had been to have me be there with them so we equalled out in dancing partners. We'd even gone to a friend of Finn's dad's to get matching tuxes' for Finn and Jesse… they were going to be matching black, a classic look which would fit them both wonderfully. Jesse had even taught Finn how to slow dance for the occasion, I'd tried but our height difference was too great for me to accomplish any real good. He and Jesse seemed to be much more suited together for dancing partners._

_Tina had thought about wearing a tux too for a brief period of time but then she'd seen this beautiful black gown with a delicate red lace spider webbing over the top of it and little silk bows along the bodice and hadn't been able to look away. Se we'd found one in her size with a matching set of elbow length black gloves and that as we say is that. They'd probably all be getting ready at Jesse's house since he had the most room to move around in since his bedroom doubled as a dance studio… Boy had a serious addiction to his show choir. It bordered on scary, apparently his show face was so optimistic it could cure cancer._

I shook my head for a moment to clear it. I really did need to focus on this competition if I wanted at least one good thing to come out of this year. I adjusted my hair in the mirror one last time and applied a liberal amount of hair spray before giving one last wistful look at my own Spring Fling outfit. Since Finn and Jesse were going in tuxes Tina and I would be the skirts.

Well sort of… My hair would have been coifed to the side and for the top I had a traditional tuxedo look like they had. But for the bottom I had picked out a lovely green and purple tartan kilt with black leggings. Finn told me that it rocked, like a gay Brave heart. We'd all laughed and then we'd gone back to planning the Clastic's sabotage…

This really wasn't helping at all. I shook my head and looked down at my current outfit. Beige pants and a blue and yellow t-shirt with the words Math-Gleek emblazoned on the chest. I wanted to set myself on fire. It was hideous but I could suffer through it for a few more hours I suppose. I looked out my window and saw Miss Pillsbury pull up outside. I shouted a quick bye to my dad and went to meet her.

**~~~Corridor outside the competition room.~~~  
><strong>I wasn't feeling much better than when I'd left the house but I was slightly less distracted from my own thoughts by the murmurs of the other 'Gleeks' around me.

As we walked through the curtain and into the competition room I heard Artie say "Excellent. Great turnout this year" I looked around at the, twenty six people seated with a slight sigh and walked to my podium next to the other Gleeks.

Miss Pillsbury came up behind me and said in a sweet voice "All right. It's all you" I turned to her slightly and smiled at her "OK." She smiled back "Make me look good out there." I felt my smile widen a little and nodded my head "OK".

Next to me Artie was whispering to himself "Carmel, you sons of bitches. You no-good sons of bitches" he was probably trying to psych himself up but he was doing nothing to quell be erratic mind. I still couldn't focus properly.

"You nervous?" Miss Pillsbury whispered to me "Yes. Very. Can I pee before this starts?" she laughed a little and said "Don't be. You can do this. There's nothing to break your focus, because not one of those Carmel boys is cute." I smiled at her briefly before she moved to take her seat. A moment later the lights dimmed and a spot light shone on the man on the middle podium.

"Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. Welcome to the Lima Ohio High School

Mathletes State Championship. I'm Rod Remington from WOHN News 8." I thought he'd looked familiar. He was the guy who read out the news with Diane before Principle Sue's segment came on. Sue's corner was a fantastic if not terrifying insight into how her mind worked. I was particularly freaked out about her Halloween edition…

"Let's start the competition. Here is the first question. Twice the larger of two numbers is three more than five times the smaller; and the sum of four times the larger and three times the smaller is seventy one. What are…? McKinley?"

"Fourteen and five" said Artie with a slightly smug determined grin. With a nod and a slight smile Rod Remington said "That is correct." I smiled a little as the guys nudged Artie in a mini celebration.

"Question two. Find an odd three-digit number whose digits add up to. The digits are all different, and the difference between the first two digits equals the difference between… Carmel?"

A boy with unruly black curls leaned as close to the mic as he could get and said in a rush "Seven hundred and forty one." Another nod from Rod meant that it was in fact "Correct." Oh crap. I should've known that one. It was so easy…

_/Shoot. I really was rusty…/_

**~~~Hummel House~~~**  
>I was reading through the paper after a tough day at the shop when I heard Carole moving around the house. I smiled a little when she came through the door until I saw the look on her face.<p>

"Where's Kurt?" I shrugged my shoulders slightly in an 'I'm not sure' way "He went out." She frowned at me and said "He's grounded." I paused for a moment. I'd never really had to punish Kurt for anything before, and I'd never grounded him in his life so I was a little unsure about the concept of it…

"…Are they not allowed out when they're grounded?" she rolled her eyes at me and left the room. Guess not.

**~~~Spring Fling~~~**  
><strong>-Jesse's POV-<strong>  
>I was stuck at the voting table on the night of Spring Fling. Honestly how lame was that? I loved these things, granted a lot of the decorations, a girl in a peach and lemon dress walked past the table, and a large majority of the outfits were extremely tacky. But the band seemed pretty good.<p>

Our school band could play just about anything with little to no practice. It was kind of awesome. And Brad the Music teacher knew just about every song in the world and seemed to show up whenever you needed him to which was perfect for Show Choir rehearsals. This year we were all taking turns to sing the songs since our budget had been cut AGAIN for something for the Cheerio's.

I rolled my eyes to try and dispel some of my anger and resisted the urge to bang my head against the table in frustration when I realised what the song had changed too. My current hell was also known as 'Friday'. Why would anybody willingly sing that? Honestly. Though if Kurt were here he'd probably enjoy the fact that it was Sam singing it… Boy was obsessed seriously.

I shouted at the top of my lungs, which was pretty impressively loud if I did say so myself, to be heard over the annoyance that was; 'Tomorrow is Saturday, and Sunday, comes afterwards…' I hated to admit it but he had a good voice, outfit was terrible though. Who wore a bolo tie after Nineteen Eighty Nine? Where was I again? Oh Right.

"Don't forget to vote for Spring Fling King and Queen, people. These A-holes will represent you for a full calendar year." I leaned back in my chair and handed the box filled with the ticket takings over to Becky Jackson.

As I handed them over I heard someone to the right of me, I didn't care enough to waste my precious time looking at them, say "I'm gonna vote for Quinn Fabray because she got hit by that bus." While his 'genius' friend said "I'm voting for Kurt Hummel because he pushed her."

Wow. Really putting a lot of thought and consideration into this huh guys? I rolled my eyes again and then smiled as I spotted Finn and Tina dancing nearby. Well Tina was dancing. Finn looked a little like a constipated zombie, but in a cute way. If such a thing was possible to be cute that is…

Finn was in a lot of ways incredibly adorable. He was also over six foot tall of yumminess that hadn't gone unnoticed by my fantastic sense of taste. The only issues were that I was; in the 'Friend Zone' since I'd known for the past eighteen years and I ever did make a play he'd probably never even notice it. I mean I loved the guy and all but I'd known bread smarter than him.

I sighed a little and contemplated what to do about my pathetic lack of a love life and then smiled brightly as Mercedes Jones came over to relieve me of my post. I smiled at her and tagged her in, in my place and then resisted the urge to jump for joy.

Finally free I started to head over to where Finn and Tina were when I saw what looked to be Kurt's parents out the corner of my eye. I turned to look fully and when I saw that it was in fact them and that they were talking to Principle Sue I snuck a little closer to eves drop.

The music was a fair bit louder since I was now closer to the stage and unfortunately that meant closer to the speakers. Good bye hearing, hello hearing aide. But I did manage to hear his step mom say something to Principle Sue like "He's supposed to be grounded, but he let him out." I saw his dad shrug and then I turned to go tell Tina and Finn my wonderful new gossip. Looked like Korty was in trouble again, good. I was indeed of a little more drama this week.

**~~~Competition room~~~  
>-Kurt's POV-<strong>

The atmosphere in here was getting pretty intense as our scores were matched perfectly. I really should have sent more time studying then day dreaming about Sam's hair…

"After eighty seven minutes of very competitive play, we have a tie. In the event of a tie, we move into a sudden-death round. Each team is given the opportunity to choose their opponent. McKinley, who do you select?"

We all looked at each other for a moment but before I could make a suggestion Artie said "The girl, we pick the girl." The lady has a name guys. Show a little respect.

"Contestant Robera from Carmel, Miss Shoshandra Robera." The Carmel High people looked at each other and then smiled a little. Which was kind of creepy, considering that all the way through the competition they'd showed no emotions what so ever. Almost like they were some kind of soulless robots… or automatons…

the curly haired boy took the mic again and said "We pick the girly looking guy." I raised a brow slightly in annoyance and intrigue. Distantly I heard Rod Remington say "And from McKinley High, Mr Kort Hummel."

"It's Kurt." I responded on auto pilot. Who was the automaton now? It was just so frustrating sometimes. Why could no one grasp how to say my name? It was a simple name. Wait a second. They said my name which means that I need to go up there. "Oh, my God, that's me."

I started to walk to the centre where a small desk had been placed for the final show down. I looked over at my competitor and was grateful that my year as a spy had helped me keep a neutral face through even the most ridiculous of situations. Like this.__

_/Miss Shoshandra Robera seriously needed to pluck her eyebrows. Her outfit looked like it was picked out by a blind Sunday school teacher. And she had some ninety-cent lip gloss that had obviously not been applied whilst looking in a mirror. And that's when I realized, making fun of Shoshandra Robera wouldn't stop her from beating me in this contest./  
><em>

"Contestants, find the limit of this equation." On the board behind Remington's head a fairly complex equation materialised. Both Shoshandra and I started writing at the same time. Despite my current situation of 'sudden death' I couldn't get my brain to stop running through its revelation…

_/Calling somebody else fat won't make you any skinnier. Calling someone stupid doesn't make you any smarter. And ruining Quinn Fabray's life definitely didn't make me any happier. All you can do in life is try to solve the problem in front of you/_

Shoshandra buzzed in with "The limit is negative one."

_/Oh, crap. I lost. See brain? This is why I've been telling you to focus! Looks like the Math-Gleeks are gunna hate me too…/_

A negative buzzing sound rang out and Rod said with a shake of his head "I'm sorry. That answer is incorrect. Now, we are in a sudden death. If Mr Hummel can answer this problem correctly, we have a winner."

_/Limits. Why couldn't I remember anything about limits?_ _Limits… That was the week Sam got his hair cut. He started to sweep it to the side and it seemed a little darker than before… Oh, God, he looked so cute. And that smile…/ _I shook my head for a second to clear it /_OK, focus, Kurt. What was on the board behind Sam's head? Focus on the board Kurt, the board…/ _the image of Sam's face faded for a moment and I could see the answer clearly…_ /If the limit never approaches anything…/_

"The limit does not exist" I whispered quietly to myself. Then when I realised that they hadn't heard me I said louder and a little more excitedly into the mic "The limit does not exist!"

Rod smiled over at me and said "Our new state champions, the McKinley High Math-Gleeks. You guys are the cat's pyjamas!" weird comment but it didn't matter. I'd, no, we'd won!

"Yeah!" I heard cheering behind me before I was engulfed in a group hug. Looks like I finally did something right this year. I smiled at my team mates before breaking the embrace to shake Shoshandra's hand. Figured I'd go out in a classy way. 

"How do you like me now? You like that? Yeah! Get some! Get some!" my team mates how ever did not. One of the guys even ripped his shirt in half. Very classy indeed. I rolled my eyes and then I saw one of their teachers, I think his name was Dakota Stanley? Addressing them and telling them they had all failed him terribly, while another, I think his name was Dustin Goolsbury, said that he thought they should just send them all back to elementary school for being such losers. I'd heard that Carmel teachers were monsters but I thought it was an exaggeration…

Turning from that disturbing scene I went back to my team mates and we collected our medals. After which we headed out to the parking lot where Miss Pillsbury unlocked the boot of her car and pulled out a box. Artie took it from her and settling it on his knee's he opened it up and handed out some jackets. 

"Awesome. You went with the leather sleeves!" one if the guys exclaimed while Artie turned to me and said "Africa, you did the damn thing." I smiled a little sheepishly and said "Thank you" I took the offered jacket from him and I had to admit, it wasn't terrible. It was actually kind of nice, the deep blue and the rich gold colours blended well together and it was incredibly soft.

Then Artie handed a jacket to Miss Pillsbury with a smile "Can't leave you out Miss P" she smiled back at him "Thank you, Artie." One of the other boys, I wanna call him Chad? I really should learn the others names, said "We're gonna look so kick-ass in these when we roll into Spring Fling."

I quickly but a halt to that train of thought immediately "Oh, no, I'm not going." I couldn't afford to get into any more trouble this year.

"What?" Miss Pillsbury seemed genuinely upset, as did Artie who tried to cheer me up with a bad gangsta impression "Kurt, this is your night. Don't let the haters stop you from doing your thang." He accompanied his phrasing with a loose hand gesture. Which like he'd hoped it would, made me laugh "Did you just say 'thang'?"

Miss Pillsbury turned to me and said softly "Kurt, you don't have to punish yourself forever." I smiled briefly and shrugged one shoulder at her "But I'm grounded…" she smiled at me brightly and said "But you're already out." Gotta hand it to her, the woman had a point.

**~~~Spring Fling~~~**  
><strong>-Still Kurt's POV-<strong>

When we arrived at the dance it was just in time for the announcement of Spring Fling King and Queen. I looked over at the stage and saw Principle Sue standing by the mic looking as bored as ever in a blue tracksuit.

"All right, do we have all of our nominees for king and queen on the stage? OK, good. I'm obligated by the school board to say that you're all winners. And personally speaking? I could not be happier that this school year's ending. Let's get this over with as quick and painlessly as possible. The winner of this year's Spring Fling King, Noah Puckerman."

I saw Puck do a fist pump and heard him say very enthusiastically "Yes! That's what I'm talking about!" I also saw Quinn roll her eyes, albeit fondly, at him for doing so.

I started to move closer to the stage since I was technically supposed to be up there… as I did however I caught sight of my dad and Carole in the crowd which gave me a small sense of dread. With a defeated sigh I started to make my way over to them.

After the crown was placed on his head and the guys had exited the stage Principle Sue continued in a monotone voice with "And your Spring Fling Queen, future co-chair of the Student Activities Board and winner of two gift certificates to Breadstix, Kurt Hummel."

Wait what? That couldn't possibly be right. I heard her voice grow a little more agitated up on stage "Ok… Where is Porcelain?" I looked over at dad and Carole and they seemed just as confused as I was, though dad seemed pretty pissed at the 'Queen' part. "Ah. There he is."

A spot light landed on me and gave my parents a meek shrug before walking over to the stage. People around me started to clap, slightly half-heartedly but if they didn't want me they shouldn't have voted for me.

When I got on the stage Principle Sue smiled at me briefly and placed the crown on my head and handed me a small sceptre. I took a deep breath and moved towards the micro phone before I lost my nerve. I figured if I opened with a joke I wouldn't be too badly received right? "Kate Middleton, eat your heart out." I smiled meekly at the audience for a moment before just deciding to be honest and say what I really felt for once this year.

"Thank you. I know that half the people in this room are mad at me. And the other half only like me because they think I pushed somebody in front of a bus. Neither of which is good…" I looked down for a moment and Principle Sue said in my ear "You know it's not really required of you to make a speech…"

I gave her a short smile and said "I swear I'm almost done…" I looked out at the audience again and said "To all the people whose feelings that got hurt by the Burn Book, I'm really sorry. I know you think I don't mean it but it's probably the only true thing I've said all year" I bit my lip for a second before saying "I've never been to one of these things before. And when I think about how many people wanted this" I gestured to my crown briefly "and how many people cried over it and stuff…"

I looked around the room before carrying on with determination "I think everybody looks like royalty tonight. Look at Lauren Zizes. That dress is amazing. And Becky Jackson, that hairdo must have taken hours, and you look really pretty." They both sent me small smiles and I returned them fully.

I lifted the crown off of my head and continued my speech "So… why is everybody stressing over this thing? I mean, it's just plastic. I really could just…" I snapped it half. And I heard Jesse let out a whimper in the crowd, I also saw Finn put his arm around him in support and start rubbing his shoulder.

I smiled for a moment and said "Share it." I snapped another piece off and threw it to Santana "A piece for Santana Lopez, a partial Spring Fling Queen." I snapped another piece "A piece for Tina Cohen-Chang." And then threw it her way. She smiled at me slightly and I had a feeling I may have finally made things right between us. Principle Sue came up behind me again and said "Seriously, most people just take the crown and go."

I smiled a little wider as I snapped off another piece and threw it to Quinn carefully and said "And a piece for Quinn Fabray. She fractured her spine, and she still looks like a glamour model." She smiled at me and then the crowd as she said "Thank you"

"And some for everybody else." And with that I broke up the pieces I had remaining as much as I could and threw them to people in the audience. I noticed Finn grab a piece and hand it over to Jesse and I smiled brightly "Principle Sue, can you wrap it up?"

She came forward and pated me on the shoulder briefly "Thanks. All right, have a good time, everyone. And if I catch anyone with a flask near the punch bowl should be wary of the fact that I have dental kit in my office and I am not afraid to pull your teeth for spiking the punch" and with that I left the stage.

I had a feeling in my stomach that what I'd just done may have helped to mend some bridges. They were a long way from being perfect but it might be enough to get us on the road to recovery at least. With this in mind I headed over to Jesse and Finn.

Tina got there a few moments before me and said "Look. I'm a queen" with a small flourish of her fingertips to show off her piece of crown. "As am I" smiled Jesse as he held up the prize Finn had caught for him. Finn held u an extra piece and said "I guess I am too!" the all giggled for a moment and then I made my presence known…

"Hey guys…" a synchronised chorus of "Hey." Came at me and I smiled meekly "So are we still in a fight?" they looked at one another for a moment before Tina said "It depends, are you still an asshole?" while Jesse said "Do you ever plan on giving me my ink shirt back?" and Finn just shrugged at me with a wide smile.

To Tina I said "I don't think so" and to Jesse "I'll give it to you first thing Monday ok?" with a small playful roll of my eyes. Jesse and Tina looked at each other and then at Finn before turning to me again and saying "Well, then I guess we're OK."

I grinned at them and let out a breath I hadn't even noticed I'd been holding. Suddenly Finn exclaimed "I love this song!" Whereas Jesse and Tina intoned with "I hate this song". A grin broke out on my face because for the first time since I'd got here I could say "I know this song!"

They started laughing and then Tina nudged me and said "Man candy, stage right" before tactfully pushing the guy's away a little to give us some privacy. I turned to see what she was talking about and found Sam standing there smiling at me in his Tux. And if he'd looked handsome before then he was other worldly right now.

Barely managing to keep my voice in check I smiled at him and said "Hey, what's up?" he took a few steps closer and said "Hey. I was beginning to think that you wouldn't make it. But on behalf of the senior class, I'd like to present you with two gift certificates to t-" Tina, Jesse and Finn ran past stealing one of the certificates with only a "Peace out sucker" for a defence. 

I smiled indulgently and then a small smiled broke out on Sam's face too before he licked his lips and said with a chuckle in his voice "One, gift certificate to Breadstix" I looked up at him through my lashes and said "Thank you" as I took it from him.

He smiled down at me and moved closer to wrap his arms around me. "Congratulations on winning State." I smiled up at him and wrapped my arms around his neck gently "I was so nervous. They made us do limits. I thought I was going to throw up…"

He looked at me sceptically for a moment "How's your stomach now?" I giggled a little and said "Its fine Sam" deciding to tease me for a little longer he asked "Do you feel nauseous at all? Have you been drinking?" I shook my head slowly and could feel my smile growing as I answered with "No."

He nodded slightly and said "OK. Gr-awesome." And then he leaned in and kissed me. My eyes closed the second his lips made contact with mine and I suddenly felt like I was flying. I felt so light like if he let me go I'd float up into the air and never come back down. One of his hands slid up and into my hair I couldn't help but let out a soft contented sigh.

When the kiss ended I leaned my head down onto Sam's shoulder and as we swayed along to the rest of Belle Notte Sam started to sing it softly into my ear. I let out a soft little sigh and the shifted to smile at Sam "By the way, I really like your bolo tie. Very chic." he smiled at me and kissed the top of my head, this day honestly could get any better if it tried.

**~~~Elsewhere in the Gym~~~  
>-Finn's POV-<strong>

I smiled over at Kurt and Sam. It took the better art of year but they were finally together and I was really happy for them. Kurt was a pretty cool guy and Sam was pretty awesome too. He totally rocked Friday before. And he actually made me rock along to a Justin Bieber song. So he could as long as Kurt was happy then Sam could stay. I nodded my head firmly and looked around all the other couples.

Quinn and Puck where dancing really slowly together, probably because of that brace thing. When he tried to move in for the kiss though, he kinda bumped it which made her give him a look like she wanted to kill him. Guess is must of hurt…

A little bit behind them Miss Pillsbury and Mr Howell were swaying together and I swear it's like the first time all year that I've seen her smile properly. Also probably the first time ever she hasn't work plastic gloves for something…

I saw Santana walk over to Brittany while she was alone and tap her on the shoulder. Brittany looked confused for a moment before Santana pulled her closer and started to sway with her. That was weird. I didn't even know Santana was gay, I mean her and Britt have always been together and stuff but I just thought they were really close friends… weird normally Jesse tells me these kind of things… huh. Oh well.

Speaking of which, I wondered if Jesse wanted to dance. He usually likes dancing… I mean his bedrooms a dance studio so he really likes dancing.

As I was about to ask him, Tina leaned u and gave us each a quick peck on the lips. All three of us suddenly shuddered and said "No." Yup, I was definitely gay. Then this guy in a wheel chair came over to us, I think Kurt said his name was Artie? And stared talking to Tina "What's up?" Tina looked at him weirdly and asked "Can I help you?" he smiled a little and asked with a nervous look "I was wondering if maybe you'd like to dance?"

Tina hesitated for a moment so Artie continued with "I really like you, so much that I actually risked spiking the punch bowl on the odds that it might impress you… granted it was with lemonade but I figure it's the thought that counts right?" Tina smiled at him and said "Well, maybe just one dance…" Artie grinned up at her and said "Great. Allow me to take you for a spin around the floor" and with that they moved off.

I was happy for Tina. Artie seemed like a cool guy. I smiled a little and nodded. I was really hay for my friends today. Today was a pretty awesome day all round… though I feel like I'm forgetting something…

"Ok I am not going to be the only person at this thing not dancing. Especially not when I'm the Spring Fling Queen! So you're going to dance with me whether you like it or not Hudson" and with that Jesse grabbed my arm and pulled me to an open part of the floor. I just grinned at him when we stopped walking and said "Thought you were never gunna ask St James."

He looked at me weirdly and I smiled back at him "Dude, I know how much you like to dance. Only a matter of time really." I heard Jesse curse a little under his breath before he moved his hands to cup my face and pull me forward into what was probably the most forceful and awesome kiss of my life.

I swear for as chick flick cliché as this sounds, when he kissed me fireworks went off inside my head. When we pulled apart he looked a little breathless and embarrassed. He moved to walk away but there was no way in hell I was letting him go.

So I grabbed onto his arm and said "Dude why'd you just kiss me?" he looked at me like I'd gone insane and like he kind of wanted to smack his head into a wall. "Ok if you honestly don't know why I just kissed you I'm going to scream and there will be a huge scene."

I smiled at him a little "Well I'm hoping that you did it because you're into me? Cause I've kinda been into you since the seventh grade an-" he cut me off with another kiss so I guess he does like me too. Totally awesome… now the only problem I was gunna have was having to think about that time I almost killed our mailman in a car accident pretty much constantly since Jesse was a little too good of a kisser… no one I'm screwing this up that fast.****

**-Kurt's POV-**

_/In case you're wondering, The Plastics broke up. Quinn's spine healed, and her physical therapist taught her to channel all her rage into sports. It was perfect because the jock girls weren't afraid of her/_

_Quinn_ joined the boxing club and the schools had three punching bags replaced since then. And a few medical bills that may possibly bankrupt the school in a few months, if she didn't channel it all out soon.

/_Brittany used her special talents to do the morning weather announcements/_

When we turned on the TV in class yesterday she was standing in the rain wearing a light lemon t-shirt "Hi. This is Brittany Pierce. It's sixty eight degrees, and there's a thirty percent chance that it's already raining." She said as she groped one of her boobs. Santana was in the background of the shot yelling at the passers-by to stop ogling her woman or she'd go all Lima Heights Adjacent on their asses. No Me Gusta means No Me Gusta.

_/As well as a new girlfriend in Brittany, Santana also found herself a new clique and a new queen bee to serve. Herself. And me? I had gone from home-schooled jungle freak to shiny Plastic to most hated person in the world to actual human being… quite an accomplishment for only nine and half months./  
><em>

At lunch I headed out to front of the school to sit with what some people had started calling 'The Couple Club'. It consisted of me and Sam, Jesse and Finn, Tina and Artie and occasionally Santana and Brittany.

"Hey" I said as I sat down next to Sam and snuggled into his shoulder. He kissed the top of my head smiled down at me before offering me half of lunch. 

_/All the drama from last year just wasn't important anymore. School used to be like a shark tank, but now I could just float…/_

I noticed Quinn and Puck walking by so I called out to her with a smiled and a wave "Quinn." She nodded back to me and gave a small smile of her own.

_/Finally, Teen World was at peace/  
><em>

"Hey, check it out. Junior Clastics." I turned in the direction Jesse pointed me in and saw three boys dressed in blue blazers with a red trim and a caligraphised 'D' emblazoned onto the breast pocket, were walking down the path way. The one on the right was a dark skinned boy with short black hair; the one on the left had extremely fluffed black hair and a similar skin tone to Tina's.

And the one in the middle looked like he came from the Philippines maybe? With slightly tanned skin and dark hair curled hair held in place with far too much gel. They all seemed to have an air of arrogance around them, probably from some private middle school or something.

_/If any freshmen tried to disturb that peace… Well, let's just say we knew how to take care of it…/_

As they turned to look at us they forgot to look at the road. Where the school bus was making its rounds. SMACK!

_/Just kidding…/_

The bus skimmed past them but just barely. Though if they tried anything I'd be sure to get that bus driver on speed dial.


End file.
